


The Delusion is Reality

by inconspicuousStranger



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Clone Wars (2003) - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: cause I wrote it out of spite for another fic, i have no idea what is going to happen, im already judging myself enough for this, the orginal title of this was 'spite fic', which was a self-insert fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2018-08-31 20:45:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 48,249
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8593072
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inconspicuousStranger/pseuds/inconspicuousStranger
Summary: A self-insert fic born from spite of my reading of another si fic. It upset me more in that it didn't feel real enough; not plausible. Like any fic such as this, I miraculously manage to be transported to the Star Wars universe. The update schedule is nonexistent given that I only write when the mood strikes me. Have fun, I hope you enjoy the fic. spoiler: i cry a lot in it





	1. UFP

CT-7325 stood vigil on his sentry watch. Among his brothers, he had gained the name Vigil for his quiet perceptiveness. Even so, he found that being a Sentry was extraordinarily boring. He found he had to constantly keep himself attentive, wake his mind up in some way, so he could continue to focus on the horizon.

Vigil was one of four sentries on duty, each spread out far enough from the next see what one clone couldn't. Time would have been hard to tell in the darkness without the HUD in his helmet. Luckily with the HUD, he knew it was time for a shift change.

"Anything out there, brother?"

Vigil stepped and turned to look back at the clone who walked to his side; Nym. "Nothing. Not even any birds flying up from the trees."

"Pretty sure they're all sleeping right now, Vigil," Nym said, elbowing his side in a joking manner.

Despite himself, Vigil smiled, though it wasn't visible to Nym. "I think they have the right idea with sleep, honestly. It's been too quiet, even for my liking. Been tough trying to stay focused."

"Boy, you sure know how to make this job seem desirable," Nym jested again. He nodded his helmeted head back toward the base. "Go get some rest, Vigil."

He smiled and nodded, ready to just leave it at that. But a flash in the distance caught his attention. It seemed to catch Nym's attention just as well. Nym raised his blaster, keeping it ready and scanning the area where the flash came from. Vigil kneeled down, pulling out binoculars to look where the flash came from.

"Think we should call it in?" Nym inquired, blaster still up and scanning the treeline. "Could be clankers."

Vigil remained quiet, zooming in closer to the area where he saw the flash. "No. No, I don't think it's them. Flash was too bright to just be a reflection off of metal. I do think I see something, though." He handed the binoculars over to Nym. "Look there. I think there's something just along the edge of the forest. Leaning against a tree."

Nym looked where Vigil indicated, taking a few moments to find it. "Well, whatever it is, it definitely isn't a shrub." Nym adjusted the focus more, in an attempt to make out what was there. "I think… I think that's a person."

Vigil's eyes widened under his helm, double taking between the supposed person and Nym. He unholstered his blaster cautiously, "What are they doing?"

"Nothing, just sitting there." Nym paused for a moment, taking the binoculars away from his face and turning to his brother. "I think they're unconscious."

"Could be a trap done by some clankers," Vigil offered. It was highly unlikely but things like this would set off alarms in anyone's head, he figured.

"One way to find out. Let's go." Nym started to walk away from his post before Vigil grabbed his arm.

"We should at least report it," he said as he let go of Nym's arm once he stopped walking away. "Besides, you can't just abandon your post. We'll get someone down there, just probably not you."

Nym heaved a sigh. "Yeah, of course, can't risk missing anything important that might happen from our lovely sentry post." He continued his sarcastic babble as he walked off, progressively getting quieter before coming to a standstill.

Vigil rolled his eyes before comming his CO. "Commander Jack, sir, Nym and I have spotted someone on the forest's perimeter. While they don't seem to be a threat, it's concerning that they have yet to move."

There from a momentary pause from the other end of the comm. "Do you think it could be a civilian?"

Vigil thought for a moment. It's possible, but the base was so far off from any towns, cities, or villages that it made the possibility slim. But it was definitely a person, that was for sure. "Could be a civilian or the worst spy that the Separatists could come up with. Either way, I believe we should send someone to pick them up."

Another pause. "I'll have you lead Ramses, Danse, and Daer to where they are. At the very least, if it's a trap you'll be able to stand a chance."

The clone kept himself from groaning, managing a "Yes, sir" before cutting the comm. He made his way to where he knew he'd meet the small squad, feeling more tired than before. Though he desperately wanted sleep, a clones duty was neverending.

* * *

The squad set out of the base to find whoever it was the was sitting on the perimeter.

"They're still there, right?" Vigil commed Nym.

A moment passed as, what Vigil assumed to be, Nym looking for where they were before. "Still there and still hasn't moved an inch."

Vigil cut the comm as one of his brothers started talking. It was Ramses. "So, how did you and Nym manage to spot someone so far away from your post?"

"What, don't believe I'm that good of a sentry?" Vigil joked. It received very little reaction from his brothers that he could hear. "There was a flash of light that we both of saw almost out of the corner of our eyes. When we looked more closely, we could see someone just sitting there, against one of the trees."

Ramses nodded, not that his older brother could see him as Vigil led the squad to their destination..

They squad readies their blasters as the closed in on the area. What Nym and Vigil had spotted was definitely a person. They appeared small slumped against the tree, more so in the too-large light colored button up. Their head was tilted to the side at an uncomfortable angle. The black knit cap on their head did little to keep the wild dark brown curls under any form of control.

Vigil knelt down next to them, pressing his fingers to their neck to locate a pulse. It was beating quietly, normally he would assume. The important thing was that they weren't a corpse just sitting out here.

"I'm guessing we're taking them back to base," Daer said, finding it fit to holster his weapon and walk over to Vigil and the assumed civilian. He looked them over from where he was standing and noticed their lack of shoes. "If they came from somewhere, I doubt they could've gotten far barefoot. Their feet don't even look dirty enough for them to have been walking long, if they were walking at all."

Vigil looked at the civilians feet, quietly noting that Daer was right. Their feet didn't even look red, let alone have dirt on them. He put his hand firmly on their shoulder, giving a gentle shake to see if they would wake up. After a few more shaking attempts to wake them, he decided they weren't going to anytime soon.

"They're one heavy sleeper," Daer commented.

"If they're not waking up, pick them up and let's head back to the base," Ramses said as he walked over to them, Danse following behind. The two of them still had their blasters out, their focus more on the forest than them.

Vigil sighed to himself, holstering his blaster rifle on his back. He pushed his arms under their knees and behind their back, slowly picking them up. Their head lolled back into an even more uncomfortable position, but even that didn't seem to disturb their sleep, even as it bounced slightly during their walk back to the base. If he hadn't checked the pulse himself, Vigil would've been certain that they were dead.

As they were walking back, the thought of how they were able to remain unconscious while in such an uncomfortable position flitted across his mind. Must've been one hell of a knock out, he mused silently.

Their arrival back at base was met by Commander Jack. He glanced over the unconscious civilian. "I'm assuming she's alive, since you've bought her back here."

Vigil answer with a short and concise, "Yes, sir." As he was about to question what they would do with the person in his arms, Commander Jack beat him to it.

"Take her to the medbay, have Kix look her over to make sure she isn't sick or carrying anything." Without waiting for an answer, he turned on his heel and walked away.

With the kid starting to feel heavy in his arms, he bid goodbye to his brothers and began the trek over to the med bay.


	2. Of Cosmic Relevance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> sometimes you just want to ignore your problems and go the fuck back to sleep

Waking is a strange thing. There is no slow progression, only sudden consciousness. Though a person can just slowly become aware, the process of waking is immediate. And sometimes a person would wish they could go back to sleep.

Her consciousness came suddenly; first noticing how cold she felt, then the brightness of the room, the soreness in her body, and finally the realization that she was not anywhere familiar.

She felt her body tense and her breathing become almost nonexistent. She sat up, rigid and hunched as she backed herself into the corner of the bunk she had been sleeping on. Her mind was nothing but repeated chatter, loud and forming a headache as her breath slowly began to quicken.

It all came to a stop when a new sound permeated the silence; something familiar that she had heard in movies and games. But her mind in the continued buzz of repeated thoughts was unable to place it as a door sliding open, not at all like the automatic doors at grocery stores. Footsteps wandered into the room, not a moment later revealing their owner. A man she did not know, yet somehow looked as familiar as the armor he wore. He paused in his steps, noticing her quickly enough.

The man put his hands up, cautious and seeing the pure panic in her eyes, though the motion seemed to make her push herself impossibly closer to the bunks wall.

"Hey, it's alright, I'm a friend," he said softly, taking a small step to her, not seeming to notice her muscles tense more.

Her mind went from panicking about where she was to screaming for the man to stay away. That if he makes contact it will prove that this is real, that she is not having another stress dream; that she is, in fact, somewhere unknown, bereft of the security she knows of her home.

The man continued speaking to her softly, slowly coming closer, though only the distance between them registered in her mind. The thoughts of familiarity the girl had of him were lost in the din of her minds screaming. He was getting too close, even as her feet pushed against the bunk, pushing her into the corner. Stay away, please stay away.

Her mind did not register what happened; all she felt was the light touch of his hand on her arm; all she heard was her scream. Her eyes were shut tight as she pushed her hands out, barely making an impact on the man's abdomen. She was barely able to hear sound of something slamming against a metal wall. Through the stinging tears she opened her eyes to see the man at the opposite end of the room. He groaned on the floor, slowly trying to push himself up.

Her breathing came to a stop as she slowly realized that she had hurt someone. The thought ran through her head in the same as every other thought, going fast with nothing stopping it but a slow transition to another thought. She tried to speak, tried to apologize to him, but couldn't get herself to let sound- much less air- escape her. Her shivering gaping continued until the door opened once again, letting in two men who bore a striking resemblance to the one on the floor.

She was paralyzed and watching as they seemed to focus their attention on him; helping him up and making sure he wasn't seriously injured. One of them turned to her, anger on his face, words not registering in her head. Still she reacted, curling into a ball, putting her arms over her head as if to protect herself from a hit. She could feel herself saying something, apologizing over and over, as she rocked herself slightly. Her throat felt dry and scratchy, probably due to her sobbing, but she continued apologizing until it became incoherent blubbering that died to a quiet whine as she continued to try and calm herself by rocking.

Her surroundings were quiet by the time she calmed herself. She felt the exhaustion from the panic attack begin to nag at her, as she slowly uncurled herself from the painful position, popping her back and other joints and she did so. The sound seemed to attract the attention of the lone man in the room; the one she had pushed violently into the wall. With slight hesitation in his steps, he quietly walked over to her, keeping a comfortable distance between them.

"You feeling better, kid?" he asked, leaning against an island counter and crossing his arms. His posture read as relaxed, but she wasn't really sure if she could believe it. She, herself, still felt on edge.

She kept her eyes downcast, eyes only glancing to his feet or his posture. She shrugged her shoulders. It was an automatic reaction, though truthful. She felt nothing but the exhaustion pulling at her mind and couldn't figure out if she was okay now. In addition to the tiredness, she also felt gross from the sweating, snot, and salty tears that came with the attack. She kept these details to herself, however. Right now she just wanted a nap.

As she began to lean against the solid side of the the bunk, she heard the man sigh. He walked carefully over to her, kneeling down to pick something up off the floor. It was a blanket.

"Lay down," he instructed her. "You should get some more rest after-" He paused, thinking on his words, "-whatever that was."

As she did what she was told, he gave her the blanket before stepping back after doing so. She slowly stretched out her body on the bunk, letting her lower joints pop before finally relaxing. Were she more awake, she would have noticed that her feet came very short of touching the other end.

"I'm going to leave, now," the man told her quietly as he began to walk out of the room. "You'll get food when you wake up again."

Before succumbing to the beautiful slumber, she managed to say one more thing. "I'm sorry for hurting you."

He paused at the door, turning back to look at her. "Don't worry about it, kid. I'm sure you didn't mean to." He gave her a small smile before continuing his way out the door.

Once he was gone, it was not long before the sweet embrace of sleep claimed her, sending her mind into soon to be forgotten dreams.

* * *

Waking up this time was slower, calmer. She stayed under the blanket, opting to only open her eyes to look around. The familiar man from before was there, quietly reorganizing things. As she breathed in, she smelled the scent of a hospital, though not quite so overbearing and daunting. Maybe she was in a small medical facility then. After a few more moments of scanning the room, she decided to stick with her guess.

So she focused her sights the man who hadn't noticed her wake up. His hair was shaved short, with lightning bolt patterns shaved onto his head. There was also lines of illegible symbols on either side of his head. Illegible from where she laid, anyhow. His face was angular and tired, but smooth and focused. His nose curved outward in an appealing way. She stared longer, not paying attention to her lingering gaze as she tried to remember who he possibly was.

When the man felt the paranoia of someone watching him, he turned his head and looked around, eventually locking eyes with the previously unconscious girl. Seeing her gaze made him freeze in what he was doing.

It took her a few moments, but when she grew aware of the returned attention, her eyes darted to look past him, then somewhere else entirely. The silence of the room was starting to becoming too loud. Until he broke it.

"You doing alright, kid?" He kept his voice quiet and soft, despite its general roughness.

She spent a moment unfocused, thinking of the words that fit her state of mind. Her brow scrunched slightly as she stared into nothing. "No," her voice cracked quietly, hanging onto the word as it escaped her. She swallow what little saliva there was to make the words not stick as much to her tongue. "Not really, no."

As he turned more fully towards her, scrutinizing her, he saw that her gaze wasn't going to meet his again. Not on purpose anyway. Her dark, blue-streaked hair seemed to stick up in every direction, regardless of the hat trying to make it lay flat. There was acne scarring on her face normal for anyone regular person, even one or two scabs that look like they had been picked at recently. From the lighting, as well as where he was standing, her eyes looked black. The dark circles under her eyes didn't help the worn out appearance either.

While she expected more questions, she was glad for the silence. Silence meant she could fade out more, pretend it wasn't real; similar to when she had breakdowns that rendered her mostly catatonic. If he ask more questions, revealing this fantasy world to be reality, she doesn't know what she would do. Probably panic and start scratching. More crying definitely.

A cough brought her back. Her eyes instinctively looked towards the only other person in the room before drifting off into nothing again. Maybe he thought the silence was awkward.

"So, uhm," he coughed again, more clearing his throat now, "what's your name?"

"Shannon." More reflex responses.

He nods, repeating the name back. "Shannon. My name's Kix. Do you know where you are?"

She was quiet, more afraid to get an answer than anything else. Slowly, she shook her head no.

"You're in a Republic outpost, on the planet Neonus. Do you remember any of what happened to you before you were brought here?"

About a minute passed before Kix realized she wasn't going to answer. He tilted his head, bending down slightly to try and catch her gaze. His minute movement was all that was needed before her attention was focused on him.

"You alright?"

She kept quiet for a while longer, trying to figure out if she was hallucinating or in a state of a deep, yet lucid dream. In a quiet voice, she answered, "I have no idea if this real."

The statement hung in the air. He gave her a questioning look. Of course this was real. As real as anything can be in a galactic war.

Maybe she meant something else. "Are you referring to your being here?"

Her gaze went back to him quickly, shock written on her face, but it disappeared a second later making him wonder if it happened at all

"Um, yeah, sorta," she quietly responded. She seemed to be retreating again. Was she more relaxed before?

He sighed, rubbing his brow with his thumb and forefinger. Uncomfortable moments passed between them, while he thought of a way to get her to talk more openly. Before he could think of any strategy, the door opened. It was a man that looked a lot like Kix.

"Kix, have they woken up-" Vigil paused, only making it a few steps in before seeing that the girl was indeed already awake. He looked between Kix and her a few times before clearing his throat and stepping further into the room. With a nod, he introduced himself, "I'm Vigil. Glad to see you're awake."

Silence filled the room, as he waited for her to give a return introduction. Her eyes seemed to be fixed elsewhere, far away. When it became apparent Vigil would receive no response, his eyebrows drew together in questioning as he looked at his brother.

Kix sighed, nodding at her. "Her name is Shannon. She's very" -he paused for a moment- "shy. It's hard to get any sort of response out of her."

A small, almost whispered apology came from girl. Even though a thick blanket covered her, Kix could see the slight tremble in her shoulders.

Vigil was quick to smile and reassure her. "Hey, don't worry about it. I know you don't mean anything by it. Anyway, since you're awake now, I'm guessing you're probably hungry."

Being reminded of food brought her attention to the now gnawing emptiness of her stomach that immediately drained her of nearly all her energy. Still not looking at them, she answered an affirmative. She sat up slowly, sitting on her legs for a few moments before turning towards the clones and sitting criss cross. She stared at her hands which grabbed her ankles.

She hummed, grabbing their attention, forming the words in her head before she spoke. "Do I n-need to f-f-follow you?" She stuttered, despite practicing the question in her head beforehand. She took a slow and quiet deep breath to calm her anxiety.

Vigil seemed to hesitate before shaking his head. "No, you're actually not allowed out of this room." He spoke carefully, as if he was hoping to not upset her. "Anyway, don't worry I'll get you your food." He nodded to the two before exiting.

When the door closed behind Vigil, silence descended on the room. Shannon didn't seem to mind, as her mind went elsewhere to occupy her. Having nothing to really do, Kix thought on how to get her talking again, now that Vigil was gone. She seem relaxed again, at the very least.

"Do you remember any of what happened when you woke up last time?"

The question brought her out of her head again. Shannon thought for a moment before nodding, biting the inside of her cheek and absentmindedly scratching at her foot. "I woke up, panicked, pushed you, you hit the wall, more… people came in and yelled at me, then I had a breakdown."

At least, she remembers that much, Kix thought to himself. In the back of his mind, he noted she remembered it was him that she force pushed into the wall. At least, he thinks she use the force. That, or she is deceivingly strong. Pulling away from his thoughts, Kix nodded.

"What about before you woke up here? Do you remember what you were doing before? Where you were?"

She was quiet for a few moments, remembering the day before. More pressure was applied to the scratching. "At home, ah-I think. Probably drawing. Probably nuh-n-napping."

Kix watched her nervous scratching for a few moments before continuing the questioning. "Where do you live, exactly? There's no village or town anywhere near this base, especially not within walking distance."

She finally managed to cause a break in the skin, ripping up strings and patches of this flesh. Shannon tilted her head, scrunching her eyebrows together while biting at the inside of her mouth. Emitting a low, short hum, she answered. "Hard to-t-to say. To ex-explain."

"Try me," Kix said, crossing his arms and leaning against the immovable island.

A few pinpricks of blood welled up on surface of her skin, getting under her nails just like the ripped skin. A disapproving, or perhaps disappointed hum came from her. She fidgeted a bit more, straightening her posture to her back pop before settling back into her mostly curled up state. She her scratching fingers to her face to pick at a small scab, before digging out the grime from underneath her nails with the scratched hand.

Through the ministrations, she thought of how she should word her explanation. "Um, well," she hesitated with her words before taking a deep breath to calm her nerves. "I'm not from here. I don't mean the planet, I mean in a more… Universal sense. I know I'm not from here cause, where I'm from, we haven't gotten far in the way of space travel, much less colonization of other planets."

Her hands are curled up on each other now, as she peeks up to see how the clone reacted to her words. She already felt ridiculous for trying to explain a bizarre situation she had been thrown into. She felt embarrassed.

But she continued, looking back down at her hands. "I also know I'm from not here because of you, or rather your face and the faces of the others. Also, the mention of the Republic. This is fiction, to me. Not real. I still think I'm hallucinating or dreaming very lucidly. My dreams can be very vivid."

There was silence again. It felt heavy to her, crushing to make her smaller as she slowly tightened into a ball. She could tell that he didn't believe her. Honestly, she could understand the skepticism because it sounded too outlandish to believe, especially since she has already said this is all an imagined world. Still, she continued to curl into herself, willing herself to disappear.

Kix pushed himself off the island, stepping closer to her. "Listen, much as I'd like to believe all that," he sighs,pushing his hand over his shaved head, "you gotta understand that what you're saying is…" He trailed off.

"Unusual, strange, peculiar?" The words came out naturally, if a little shaky. It was a habit she picked up when her father couldn't recall a certain word.

Kix nodded, coming to a standstill in front of her. "Regardless of wherever you come from or how you got here, you're still not supposed to be here. Given your, ehm, talent with the Force, we've called-"

Shannon looked up at him suddenly, eyes wide as she pushed herself straight against the wall of her bunk. "N-no, no, no. I-I don't have any- I don't know how to use that! I shouldn't be able to, I shouldn't be-! D-d-don't, p-please don't call th-the Jedi!" Her voice was urgent, but never rose above her normal volume.

His eyebrows drew together, suspicion written clearly on his face. "Why?"

"I don't want th-them to think I-I know things." Her gaze seemed to shift, looking past him. "They-they might be-believe me. I can't fight. I hate guns. It's not safe, it's not safe, it's not safe. Notsafenotsafenotsafe-" She tucked her head between her knees, draping her arms over her head, continuing her babbling until it died into a weak hum.

He stared at the hysterical woman in front of him. He marvelled at how quickly her mood could shift, just as he felt guilty for causing it. Kix reached out, but hesitated, remembering the last time he tried this while she was like this. Instead, he opted to kneel down, trying to catch her sight.

He spoke, trying for a soothing tone, "Shannon. Shannon, look at me. You're gonna be alright. I'm sure the Jedi won't put you into combat, especially if you're… Inexperienced. The Jedi are just coming to evaluate you. Force or not, they'll know more of what to do with you. At least they'll get you off planet."

It takes a few minutes, but she eventually calms down. When she lifts her face up, she immediately begins wiping the snot and tears on her sleeves. She makes a small noise of disgust, mumbling, "I'm gross," before continuing to wipe away the mess.

Before Kix got a chance to say anything more, the door slid open. A clone that Shannon had not seen yet walks through, food tray in hand. He had triangle tattoos under his eye, and more triangle patterns shaved into his hair.

"Vigil had to start his watch shift, so he had me-" He paused looking at the puffy eyed woman and his brother. "Everything alright?"

"Yeah, Nym," Kix answered, standing up again. "She's just having trouble…"

"Adjusting, processing," Shannon finished, looking up at Nym, still a bit bleary eyed from the tears. She was quick to spot the food, her stomach giving a quiet growl.

The clone gave her a half-smile, walking over closer to give her the tray. "Name's Nym."

She had trouble making herself reach out, eventually managing to grab the tray and set it on her now crisscrossed legs. "Sh-Shannon. Thank you for the f-food." Her eyes were half-lidded and downcast again, not even looking at the tray of food.

Nym huffed a laugh, turning to Kix. "Commander wants to see you. Probably more stuff about our guest here." He nodded at Shannon, who seemed to not be paying attention to the conversation.

Kix sighed. "Alright, I'll go see him." He turned to Shannon, just the act seemed to grab her full attention. "I'm gonna be leaving you in here. Nym will be outside if you need anything."

"I will?" Nym received a deadpan stare from his brother. "I will, then," he said again, chuckling quietly to himself.

She nodded, looking back down at her food. "Sorry for causin' ya'll trouble." Her hands clenched and unclenched at the edges of the tray as her nerves began to build again.

"Don't worry about it," Nym said lightheartedly, already heading out the door with Kix. "Just knock if you need something, alright?"

She nodded, "Alright."

The door slid shut. She was finally alone, finally able to process everything without the pressure of eyes and conversation. She took a deep breath, sighing and popping her back, stretching out her legs to let her knees pop and relax. She turned herself to press her back against the head of the bunk, stretching her legs forward, on top of the blanket. Looking at the tray, she grabbed a spoon, poking at one of the substances on her plate.

She was reluctant to eat it, now thinking it might not be compatible with her system or that it might taste terrible. At least it didn't have a strong smell.

Taking another deep breath she scooped some up and took a bite. She frowned making a face. It tasted like the bean paste they would serve at her old high school, somehow it had even less flavor.

"Blech." She continued making faces as she continued to devour the meal provided.

* * *

Kix walked through the base, making his way command center, where everything was controlled and overseen. Everyone he passed payed him no mind, busy with tasks of their own. It was the same when he entered the room. Commander Jack stood behind the working clones, close enough to check that they were doing what was asked of them.

Kix approached him, saluting when he came to a stop. "You asked to see me, Commander?"

Jack turned to his brother. He was slightly older than Kix, grey already starting to speckle his hair. Three scars ran diagonally down his face, starting over his left eye, presumably from a time when he was caught off guard by some planet's wildlife.

The Commander nodded. "A few Jedi will be arriving in three days to see the girl, to determine what to do with her. You'll be going elsewhere, as well. Seems more medics are needed in the field." He paused, though not for long. "How is she, the girl?"

"She's," Kix started, quickly trailing off. "Unstable, in a way. Paranoid and delusional, too. At least, I think she is. Some of the things she says don't seem to be possible, but that could be said for a lot of things. Aside from her mental health, she seems perfectly healthy, if a bit underweight."

The Commander's brows scrunched together. "Go back to the delusional part. What exactly was she saying?"

"Something about not being from the universe, that her people don't have even regular space travel, haven't colonized other worlds." Kix sighs before continuing, "What's even more strange is that she says this place, probably this universe, is fiction."

Commander Jack rubbing, a low, contemplative hum emanating from him. "It does sound unbelievable. But, who knows? There have been stranger things that have happened. Usually something to do with the Force. Best to keep an open mind about these things."

Kix stared at his CO, and amused smile stretching across his face. "You know, you sort of sound like a Jedi."

Jack chuckled. "They start to rub off on you, eventually. I might just be getting old." Taking a moment of silence, he nodded at Kix, "You're dismissed now. Make sure she doesn't do anything to lose our goodwill. Her attitude could very well be a facade."

The medic saluted him, giving a quick, "Yes, sir," before heading out of the control room and back to the medbay. His walk was just as uneventful as before, as it always is, in and out of the base.

Arriving at the medbay doors, he immediately noticed Nym was gone. With wary and exasperated hesitation, he opened the door. Nym was easy to spot, sitting on the bunk, motioning his hands as he told a story.

"-Next thing I know, my face is on the floor and the others are holdin' back Boss, keepin' him from getting in a few more punches," Nym chuckled as he leaned back, relaxing against the foot of the bunk. "Still don't regret it, though. I think I was still laughing on the floor after he knocked a few of my teeth loose."

A new, small laugh came from the bunk. "Pff, haha, how many times has something like that happened?"

"'Bout five times before the punch," he looked off with a contemplative expression, right before he spotted Kix. "Welcome back, Kix. What'd the Commander say?"

At the mention of his name, Shannon's head popped out from the bunk. It seems she has opted to trap her hair in her hat for the time being. She gave him a small smile and a wave as he walked closer to them.

He leaned back against the island, crossing his arms over his chest. "Jedi will be here in three days. Will probably send the least busy ones." At the mention of the Jedi, Shannon started to look nervous again. "Don't worry, you're not wind up alone with them, Shannon. I'll be with you, for a bit, at least. Getting reassigned; seems they're in need of more medics."

Nym scratched the back of his head, scrunching his eyebrows. "It's really getting bad out there, isn't it?"

The medic gave a solemn nod, the conversation dying quickly after that.

Before it could go on too long, however, Nym let out a loud sigh, standing from his spot on the bunk. "Well, much as I like talking about fun stories, I gotta back. I keep getting watch duty, don't know why." Nym smile and bid goodbye to them before disappearing through the door.

Moments of silence passed before Kix tried to pick up a conversation while Shannon was still in a social mood. "How are you feeling?"

"Better." Her response was quick. "I got most of the extreme emotions out of my system, so now I just… Feel nothing, I guess. I'd say it's contentment but it's not. Just a nice rest from feeling things."

He gave her curious look, right before he started chuckling, "You are very strange, you know that?"

"I just have a lot of time for self-reflection and evaluation of what is happening in me," her tone was matter-of-factly. "Doesn't mean I can control when I break down, just reflect. Though any sort of thought of reflection in an embarrassing, painful, gross moment like that, I generally just start to forget and move on and make sure I avoid stressors."

"Well, seeing how you reacted to me mentioning the Jedi, I'd say you can't avoid it." It was the hard truth for her, but Kix was sure she could.

"Not with that attitude, I can't," she said offhandedly. At the very least it earned her another grin from the clone. "I'm kidding, I know I gotta face it. Gonna hafta face a lot of things, since I don't think I can get home. I hope I'm just a new consciousness created from me and not just me."

She receives another curious look from him. He looked like wanted to ask a question, but just let it go with a sigh. Thinking for a moment, he came up with another question. "Do you think you're going to be able to handle the visit from Jedi?"

She nods. "I'll probably just be shaky, and stutter a bit. No snot and tears this time." She taps a finger on her now stretched out legs, looking down at her feet. She hummed before speaking, "This is going to be a long three days if I'm just stuck in here."

"Unless I get orders saying you can roam around, then we'll just have to deal with it," Kix shrugged. "Maybe I can steal a deck of cards from Ramses. That'll at least be entertainment for maybe a few hours. Until then," he goes around the island, grabbing a chair and pulling it back over to the bunk and sits down, "we could get to know each other, seeing as my only duty as of now is you make sure you're not a spy."

Shannon looked at him, no clear expression written on her face. "I don't tell big lies, too many ways for it to go wrong. Being caught in the act of lying and having to face it is terrible." She looks back at her feet, popping her fingers absentmindedly before continuing, "I do tell white lies, though; everyone does. Something small and harmless that doesn't matter in the long run."

Kix leaned back, thinking about it for a bit. "Yeah, I suppose we all do," he admitted before sighing. "Anyway, let's move onto other things."

She nodded, waiting for the first question to come. It was a lot like the game of 20 questions, though with no other goal in mind than to get to know each other. It felt easy for her, at the moment, to answer and ask simple questions. Simplicity kept her calm, distracted her from problems that would surely rise in the future. Hopefully, the Jedi be like Kix and not believe her about being from another universe. A place where she learned the events of what happened in their home, their universe. She hopes they don't believe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to upload this a week from the last chapter but I gave into my impulses i am not a strong willed person


	3. A Chance to See

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I drew a cover for this fucking thing and i spent too much time on it but im more or less proud of it http://fav.me/dap6kqg

Dawn of the third day, Shannon wondered, possibly over thinking it, _is it today the Jedi are coming, or tomorrow_? She kept thinking about it further, the thoughts becoming more complex and useless as time dragged on. With an outward sigh, she decided to let the thought fly away, to just go with the flow as usual.

"You okay? Looks like you're spacin' again," Kix observed, from his spot across the room. Shannon couldn't see exactly what he was doing, but he was keeping his hands at the very least.

"Just overthinking things to the point where I start questioning whether I ever existed in the first place." Shannon looks over at Kix, looking for a reaction.

Kix just blinked silently, looking suddenly exhausted. "I'll keep my questions to myself then."

She grinned, unable to keep in her impish laughter. It was good to be able to laugh freely, without being judged. And if Kix did judge her ugly laughter, she was fine with it.

A comfortable silence fell, letting Shannon drift into her thoughts again. At first, the thoughts were blank. She let her thoughts flow onto the blank slate, to find something to focus on. In the time that she had been here, she has been told how she was found; at the edge of a forest in a flash of light. She noted that it was a lucky happenstance, a very lucky one.

With enough complaining about being gross from the crying, she was able to take a shower. It was weird being in what seemed to be a communal shower. She kept her shower songs to herself, anxious that someone might hear her. Since she had no other clothes to change into, she continued to wear what she came in, though stuffing the hat uncomfortably into a pocket of her jeans. With nothing to keep them down, her curls stuck up in a nice, still-wild way.

In her time here, she met a few more clones, mostly when she was allowed out of the medbay. Of course, she had to stick with Kix, and the only other place she was allowed to go was the Mess Hall. There were a few clones who would talk with her, Nym, Vigil, Daer, and Ramses. Any other clone would mostly spend their time talking with Kix. She didn't mind, she enjoyed not having to speak. When she did talk, however, she talked a lot; telling stories about where she lived, little misadventures as a kid, as well as just pointing to different scars that she earned and telling the stories of how they happened. There was only a few times where they questioned her terminology, making her correct or rephrase in a way that was relatable to them.

There was only one occasion where Ramses asked where she was from. It caused a pause in her laughter, making her look to Kix, as if asking permission. She didn't wait, instead just looking down at her hands, head twitching to the side. A nervous tick. She didn't want to think of a lie, so she settled for avoiding it.

"I'm not comfortable talking about that," she said quietly bunching her hands together and squeezing. "I'm not sure you'd believe me, anyway."

A friendly clap on the shoulder made her jump, letting out a small shout of surprise. Ramses gave her an understanding smile, saying it's alright. The conversations fell further and further away from the subject, until it was forgotten in the jovial exchange.

Shannon now mused to herself, _what if I could make them believe_. She thought back on her knowledge of the show, digging through her memories. She doubted she could make the others believe, since she hadn't known them until this point. So, she would have to focus on something that happens to one in particular.

"Kix?" She was already having second thoughts on this idea. This was the opposite of what she wanted; to stay out of the events. But, she wants someone to know, to believe her. She trusts Kix, but…

Kix hummed in affirmation. He was listening, waiting for her to speak.

"If…" She hesitated, willing her mind to shut off and just ask. "If I could make you believe me when I say I'm not from this universe, would you take that chance?"

The clone looked up from what he was doing, an eyebrow raised. He put his project down, grabbing a chair and rolling it over to the bunk. "Why not?" he said offhandedly. He sat and relaxed back into the chair, crossing his arms over his chest before nodding at her to start.

The woman sat up, turning toward the clone and crossing her legs. "I've said before that this world, this universe is fiction. A story that many people enjoy," she started. She kept her eyes down at her hands, fiddling with her fingers and toes. "I remember a bit of a part that includes you, Captain Rex, Jesse, and Hardcase."

From her peripheral, she could see Kix shift. She continued before he could say anything. "I-I don't remember what planet you were on. But you were going after General Grievous. Obi-Wan Kenobi was there, but you split off from each other, searching different areas.

"While you were searching, a couple of droids attacked, sniping Rex. He was the only one that was hurt. You needed to find some place safe to check his wounds. I think Jesse was the one that figured out you were on farmland."

She saw more movement in her peripheral. She was afraid to look up, so she just continued. "You found a Twi'lek and her kids there, at the farm house. She let you stay in the barn, or I guess let Rex rest in the barn. You patched him up, and had to leave, because Obi-Wan found where Grievous was or was headed, I don't remember that bit much. Rex tried to argue with you, to get up and go fight with you. 'When it comes to the health of the men, I outrank all of you'. That was something close to what you said.

"You went off to join Kenobi. Grievous was caught in the middle. You were trying to keep Grievous from escaping, trying to keep the ship coming to get him from landing. In the end, though, he got away."

The silence was heavy, thick. Shannon was afraid to look up, only managing to flick her eyes up to look at the clone's reaction. Kix had his elbows resting on his knees, using one hand to prop his head up as he looked at his feet. He said nothing. Didn't move. It made her nervous, made her muscles tense unconsciously.

Before she could stop herself, she spoke again, "I-I-I'm-I'm s-sorry. I sh-shouldn't have-have s-aid anything. S-sorry."

Silence. A silence she couldn't run away from. So much for being comfortable here.

"You shouldn't know that." His voice was just above a whisper, though it pierced the quiet like a spear. He looked up with a glare, "You could only know that if you've read the reports. That's the only way you could've know that."

He stood up, taking a few steps before stopping, rubbing the back of his head. "Still, the reports never stated what I _said_ to keep the Captain there." Kix paused, thinking a bit before letting out a frustrated sigh. "I don't know what to think right now."

Shannon lifted her head up to look him fully. He was still turned away from her, but she could see his sagging shoulders. She could read his body language, just as well as understanding his words. He wants to believe her, probably due to the connection they had made. She wants to help him, to put his mind at ease. She tried to think of what she could do.

"It's hard to take in, regardless of whether you completely believe me or not." Shannon shifted in her spot, scootching herself into the corner of the bunk. "You saw how surprised I was when I first woke up. It took a bit, but I adjusted." She paused for a brief moment, thinking of something else to say. "And if you don't want to believe that I come from some other universe that knows about yours, we can just say I know things. It's simple and still true."

Kix turns around, the glare gone from his face, replaced with concern. "I want to believe you, kid, I really do. It's just…"

"Hard to swallow?" she completed, a small hopeful smile crossing her face.

Kix huffed a laugh, smiling as he shook his head. "Yeah. Hard to swallow." He looked off to the side, exhaustion taking over his features again. "I have no idea what we're going to tell the Jedi. Or anyone else."

"Honestly, I'm hoping they just stick me in a closet, or something, far away from the fighting." Hearing more of her friend's laughter put a bigger smile on her face. "Really, though, if they were to learn something from me to turn the tide in their favor, it could permanently alter the course of events, making everything completely unpredictable. It could also just make things more devastating."

Kix sat in his seat again, taking on a more serious expression. "How do you mean?"

Shannon froze, thinking on what she just saying. She let her breath go and spoke calmly, "Just my saying that could've altered something, maybe making you more careful. It's more just wars are destructive and no one will be left unscathed."

She could feel the clone medic's eyes on her, staring hard to get her to say more. Eventually, he just sighed, leaning back in his seat and looking up at the ceiling. He laced his fingers together, letting them rest on his abdomen.

"I think it's going to be up to you, in the end," he admitted.


	4. Proof before Conclusion

A few hours and another meal later, the Jedi finally arrive. Or rather, a Jedi. She was in the medbay, as per usual, when she heard about it from Nym. He also said that they were to wait here for the Jedi. Nym, being Nym, didn't leave after relaying the news.

"It's going to be a lot more dull around here without you," he commented, stealing the chair Kix usually sits in.

Shannon chuckled, "Dude, I barely left this room. Hell, I barely left this bed. Floor's too cold for my boney-ass toes."

They laughed, making her smile.

"If we had any sort of footwear, we probably would've given it to you." Kix gave her a half smile. "Probably."

Any sort of laughter that would have come was interrupted by the door opening. All eyes shifted to the person entering the room. A very familiar face walks over to the group gathered, smiling and nodding at Kix.

"Good to see you again, Kix."

"Same to you, Ahsoka," he nodded back. He gestured to his brother sitting beside him, "This is Nym, by the way. He should be heading to his next shift, but I guess he's just the slacker everyone says he is."

The clone in question rolled his eyes, holding up his hands in surrender. "Alright, alright, I'll get going. Just wanted to see you both off." He stood up, giving one final wave before leaving.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Kix continued with the introduction. "This, here, is Shannon, the woman we were talking about."

The Togruta girl turned to her, wearing a kind smile. "Nice to meet you, I'm Ahsoka Tano. I'm the Jedi sent to evaluate you. Well, Jedi Padawan, but still."

She stared at the girl in front of her, wide-eyed with quiet surprise. She couldn't think of something to say, everything was just blank. When she did think of something, too much time had passed for her to say anything without it being weirder than it already was. Instead, she opted to look down at her hands and feet.

Ahsoka raised a brow, looking over at Kix for any sort of answer or reasoning.

The clone shrugged. "She's a bit shy."

The Padawan nodded slowly. "So I heard that you 'force pushed' someone. Is that true?"

Shannon shrugged. She could feel herself switching to autopilot. She didn't want to be talking about this. She doesn't want confirmation on her new powers, she just wants them to fade.

Waiting for more of a response but getting none, Ahsoka sighed. Again, she looked to Kix for any insight on the matter.

"The first time she woke up, she started to panic. I was in here with her when she woke up, so I tried to calm her down. I learned very quickly that she doesn't really like physical contact. The moment I touch her, she pushed her hands out and sent me flying across the room." Kix looked back to where he landed, commenting, "I think there's still a dent in the wall."

Ahsoka's eyes were wide, looking from Kix, to the supposed dent in the wall, to Shannon. The Padawan hummed in thought, speaking slowly as question formed. "Is there any other way to prove that the event took place?"

Kix gave her a quick nod. "We have some surveillance. It's one of the reasons why the others responded to the incident quickly."

"I'd like to see it, if you don't mind."

He nodded again before looking at Shannon. "We'll be right back. Just stay here."

She gave no indication of a response, though he was sure she heard him. Without waiting any longer, he walked out with the Padawan, leaving Shannon to stew in her thoughts.

The pair walked down the halls of the base, passing only a few, to the control room. It was silent between them, until the clone spoke up.

"What are you thoughts on her, so far?" Kix only turned his head slightly, enough to keep the path ahead in sight as well as look for a reaction in the young Padawan.

Her brows raised in slight surprise at the question, turning to meet his gaze for a moment before focussing back on the path to Control. She took a minute to think before responding. "She's quiet, that's for sure. Aside from that, something feels strange about her. Like she's out of place or doesn't belong here. And I'm not just talking about in the sense that she's a civilian in a military base. I mean in a more… more…"

"Cosmic?" Kix guessed, quickly receiving a nod from the Padawan. "I figured as much. It's nice to have it, at least, somewhat confirmed."

"What do you mean?"

The clone sighs. "She says she's from another universe. Didn't really believe her at first, but then I started noticing some of the stuff she said- well, a lot of what she says or does- it just felt foreign. Hard to put words to that feeling."

Ahsoka gave him a half-smile, raising a brow. "I've seen some weird stuff going around the galaxy, but I don't really think she could be from another universe. Not without proof, anyway."

He nodded, wondering if he should mention what Shannon had said, about the mission on Saleucami. He stopped his train of thought, remembering what he had said to Shannon, that it was her decision whether to tell them or not. They were quiet for the rest of the walk to Control.

Their arrival was only greet by the Commander, who introduced himself to the Jedi before getting to business. "Is there something you need, Miss Tano?"

Ahsoka nodded, "Just wanted to look at the footage of the incident with the woman."

The Commander's gaze drifted towards Kix, before directing them to another clone; Danse. The trooper sat in front of an array of monitors, each with different views of inside and outside the base. Danse looked, for lack of a better word, dead. His eyes seemed glazed over as he watch the monitors for anything out of the ordinary. Kix would've thought he was actually dead, had it not been for Dance's bouncing leg. Kix had to smack his shoulder to get his attention.

The reaction was immediate, turning and facing the Jedi and medic quickly. He looked up at them from his seat, pausing and bumbling for what to say. "Uhh, what do you two need?"

Kix crossed his arms as he answered, "Just need to see the footage from when Shannon first woke up."

Danse mumbled something to himself, as if trying to remember something. Until realization struck him. "Oh! Right, yes, right away, sir."

Kix and Ahsoka exchanged amused looks before looking back at the screens. Eventually, Danse was able to find what they were looking for. The first time it played, Ahsoka's eyes went wide. The second time, she moved closer to get a better look at it. She watched as Shannon pushed her arms out, even that she barely touched Kix when he flew backwards. Watching it again, she saw smaller things; the blanket that had been on the bed was pushed by an unknown force onto the floor; various items that lay on the island's tabletop flew off to the side, even before Kix flew across it.

Ahsoka backed up, straightening her posture again, furrowing her brow in thought. The clone pair looked to her then each other. She eventually thanked Danse for showing her the footage before she started walking off, presumably back to the medbay. Kix did the same, bidding his brother farewell as he followed after the Jedi down the hallway.

Before he could get out a word, she spoke up. "Even though I just saw it, it's hard to believe. Usually, force powers are supposed fade away when you don't train them. A sixth sense might still remain, but…" she trailed off, thinking for a moment. Looking up at Kix, she continued, "Has she done anything else similar to this? To the push?"

The medic shook his head, "No, nothing. She barely moved from her spot when she first woke up. I was just barely able to get her talking the second day she was here. When I told her we called on the Jedi, she freaked out even more, said it wasn't safe."

"What?" She was understandably surprised, especially since Jedi were supposed to be the symbol of peace and order. "Why would she think we, they, aren't safe?"

"She believes you'll send her off to fight." Kix shrugged. "It could've just been the anxiety or paranoia talking, though. It'd be better if you just talked with her about it. It'll take a bit, but once she gets comfortable around you, she'll open up."

Ahsoka nodded, without another word.

They continued down the long stretch of the hallway, passing no one as they walked. It felt odd to Kix, seeing none of his brothers walk by. Maybe they're actually at their posts, for once, he mused quietly, smiling inwardly.

It wasn't long before they reached the medbay again. The door panel slid open, letting them step inside to the eerily silent room. Kix made his way over to where he figured Shannon was laying down. She had indeed laid back down, covering herself with the blanket, but she was not asleep. Her eyes were wide, staring straight ahead, the expression she made when she was lost in her own head. Waving a hand is all it took to snap her back to reality.

She blinked a few times, looking quietly up at Kix then to Ahsoka, before slowly sitting up and crossing her ankles. She looked tired, eyes half-lidded, no longer portraying the shock or anxiety of before. She didn't speak, just continued to shift her gaze between the two.

Ahsoka's face held a wary gaze as she cleared her throat to speak. "I looked at the surveillance vid, and, well, I don't doubt that you have some latent ability to use the Force. And since they've sent me to decide what to do, I think we should take you to the Council."

Shannon's gaze fell back to her hands and feet, as Ahsoka continued.

"I can't really promise anything, but I don't believe they'll actively put you in harm's way, let alone the front lines. I know Kix said you were worried about something like that."

That made Shannon quickly look back up, first to Ahsoka, then to Kix. Her expression read as shock and not much else. He just gave her reassuring smile, hoping it would comfort her possibly building anxiety. As her expression relaxed as her gaze drifted back towards her feet.

"It's not like I can really argue with you, and I wouldn't anyway." Her tone was solemn but even. She felt heavy, the feeling of dread sinking into the pit of her stomach while at the same time feeling completely numb. She sighs, looking back up at them, "When do we leave?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goodbye base and hello 'time to pull shit outta my ass'  
> Also, expect to see some of my clones later cause im now attached to them and they will probably reappear. whether they live through their appearance has yet to be determined


	5. Phobias of a Shut-in

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shannon doesn't like flying or heights or leaving the ground in general

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for slight self-harm. It was very minor in other chapters but I feel the warning is necessary in this one

****

They walked quietly down the hallway to the where their ship had landed. Shannon kept her head down, looking only two feet ahead of her to see where she was going. Kix, who was walking aside Ahsoka, would occasionally look back at his friend. Every little glance back, she still wore the same dejected look.

It wasn't until they reached the ship outside, that Shannon finally looked up into the sky and beyond. It was surreal; seeing different stars shining in the dark sky; two, _TWO_ moons! This was something she could only experience in her mind or in games. She couldn't tell what she felt right then, the emotional numbness still prevalent in her system. The best way to describe it would wonder. Just absolute _WONDER_ that _SHE_ \- a stay-at-home artist whose days consisted of sleeping late, drawing, writing, the occasional music session, and just the pit of self-loathing and depression that she dug herself- would be the first of _HER PEOPLE_ to set foot on a completely habitable planet.

Kix and Ahsoka watched her, giving each other amused looks. In their eyes, it looked like she was a child, looking outside for the first time, or even just visiting a new planet for the first time. It was then they started to subconsciously believe a little more that she was telling the truth, that she was from beyond their stars, from beyond their universe.

When she snapped herself from her fixation on the stars and moons, she noticed Kix and Ahsoka smiling at her. The rush of heat to her face was immediate, so quick it gave her a headache. Without any way of really checking for herself, she was unsure of she had actually turned as red as she felt.

She was quick to catch up to them, given her anxiety-induced adrenaline burst. As she looked up and beyond the pair in front of her, she spotted a ship, and something finally dawned on her. Something that might pose a problem.

"Uh-uum," she stammered, the adrenaline making her shake involuntarily. "I-I-I d-don't know-know if I-I should've meh-mentioned this but… I ha-have an extreme fear of flying. Also heights. Never-never b-been a fan uh-of those either."

Kix looked at her, slight bewilderment written on his face, before relaxing into a sigh. "Don't worry these things are perfectly safe."

Ahsoka nods, a reassuring smile on her face. "Yeah, the only times they really crash is when my Master is flying."

Shannon balled her hands together, rubbing at the skin too hard, scratching harder with her nails. "I ap-appreciate the-the w-words of enc-encouragement, but I d-don't thi-think you know how bah-bad it is."

Shannon looked down as she scratched hands, watching as nails started to tear her skin. She would have continued to peel the skin on her hand, had a gloved one not set his hand on hers, halting her movements. She looked up at Kix, seeing the stern look on his face. "Stop," was all he said before removing his hand from her. She decided to settle for squeezing her hands.

Kix sighed again, as he seemed prone to do when around her. "There isn't any other way for you to get to the Council. I'm sure you know that. Besides," he said as he turned and walked into the ship, "you're going to have to face this fear some day."

Shannon let out a small, barely-audible whine. She knew he was right. Damn him for being right. She wishes she could just go back to sleep, or, better yet, stop existing entirely. Shannon looked at Ahsoka, who gave her another reassuring smile, placing a hand on her arm, gently, to guide her inside.

It was slow going, but the Togruta was able to get the girl into the spacecraft and into a seat. Shannon's hands were quick to fasten whatever harness was available, gripping it so tightly that her knuckles turned ghostly white. She was so lost in the echoing screams of her thoughts, that she couldn't hear when Ahsoka was giving her words of encouragement. She didn't even notice Ahsoka leave to head up front.

The shuttle itself was small, but definitely big enough to hold 3 and then some. It was in good shape, able to lift off and break the atmosphere without much trouble. It was normal for the two who had spent most of all their lives flying crafts just as this. They could only partially understand Shannon's fear, as this was the only plausible way of travel through the stars. It was a truth that the anxiety riddled woman needed to understand and accept.

Miles and miles outside of the planet's atmosphere, the ship drifted continuously without slowing. Kix stood behind Ahsoka's seat as she entered in coordinates.

"We're going to be meeting up with Anakin's fleet," Ahsoka explained. "While on the way to get you both, we were also given orders to intercept a Separatist Cruiser. Supposedly, they're carrying blueprints to a new sort of weapon. I don't know the details, exactly, just that Anakin wanted us back ASAP."

"It'll certainly be a change of pace for me," he mused aloud. Seeing as she had things under control, turned around, heading into the other room. "I'm going to check on Shannon, make sure she's alright."

He heard a word of affirmation from Ahsoka as he walked away. He made his way to the room where they had left Shannon. When he stepped through the doorway, he froze in shock. Tears were running down her face in a continuous stream, eyes wide and red. Jagged scars ran across her arms and hands, blood prickling on the surface. Her hands were at her throat, gripping and scratching as she sat there, shaking.

After the shock passed, he was quick over to her. He ripped her hands away from her throat, gripping her wrists hard enough that she couldn't pull them free.

"What are you doing?!" His voice was loud and angry, perfectly matching his expression.

She said nothing, just stared wide-eyed, but not at him. Her eyes stared at nothing, though her tears were finally starting to slow down as she appeared to come back to reality. She blinked slowly before focusing on the man in front of her. As she registered his expression, she started trying to pull her stinging arms away from him. Panic skyrocketed she realized he had her wrists in his grip. Her yanking became more frantic as the seconds past.

Kix tried to calm his expression, the volume of his voice, as he tried to get the manic woman to calm down. "Hey. Hey! Stop! You're safe, you're fine. Calm down."

She eventually tired herself out, her actions growing slow and weak, until she completely calmed down. She felt the medic's grip loosen, still keeping ahold of her. She took deep, slow breaths, letting the calm numbness wash over her.

When Kix's hands finally let go, she didn't notice, just let her hands fall into her lap as she stared, dazed at the ground. She didn't notice Kix undo the belts strapping her to the chair, gently guiding her to stand. She complied wordlessly, following Kix to the small medbay, her movements heavy and slow. Ahsoka watched the events, shock and concern creasing her brow. Rather than getting involved, however, she resolved to just head back to the pilot's seat.

Shannon sat on the table, looking at the damage she caused to herself. These would leave scars for a while, more ugly scars she would ignore. The cold air made all the scratches sting more than when her salty tears fell on them. On the bright side, she thought, at least my nose isn't stuffy anymore.

The burning spray of disinfectant on her arm made her jump. She focused on her arm as Kix worked, not remembering when exactly he cleaned the blood off her arms. He was quick with spraying her scarred limbs, letting the mist set and dry out, finally getting to the scratches on her neck. With a finger just under her chin, he tilted her head back, cleaning the blood off first, then spraying the red claw marks she made. He didn't bother with bandages, since the scars would soon scab over. So long as she didn't pick at them, she would be fine.

After putting his supplies away, he rested his hands against the counter, keeping himself propped up as he leaned forward, head hanging.

"Why?" he asked, breaking the silence between them. "Why would you do something like that? Why would you hurt yourself like that?" He turned around, looking at her, waiting for an answer.

Shannon shrugged. When she looked up at his stern appearance, deeming that not a good enough response, she continued, "It's just… S-something that hap-happens. Y-you already-y know that I-I don't handle st-stress well. I told-told you th-that I have a s-phobia. It's juh-just the w-way I am."

"Hurting yourself out of fear is the way you are?" It wasn't a question but an incredulous statement. Kix sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger.

"Sorry." Her apology was quiet and tired. Her shoulders slumped, her back relaxing into heavy slouch. She didn't dare look up at him, too scared, everything too heavy.

Moments passed between them, everything quiet. Until Kix spoke up. "It's not alright, but at least I'm learning how best to handle situations like these." Kix paused, rubbing the back of his head before looking back at Shannon. "I'm guessing you can't really promise me anything, but try not to do this again. Find some other way to destress. Something that doesn't hurt you."

She apologized again as he walked away. He looked her way once more, seeing that she wasn't even looking at him. Just looking down, as usual. He sighed quietly as he continued on his way out. Ahsoka was outside to greet him. She looked concerned.

"What happened?" she asked, keeping her voice down.

He waved her to follow him, walking them back to the flight deck. He leaned back against a wall, crossing his arms before starting. "She wasn't kidding when she said she has a fear a flying. She started, uhm, scratching at her arms and throat."

"What?!" The exclamation was as quiet as it could get. Ahsoka wore a look of shock.

The medic nodded, "There wasn't much blood, so I'm just assuming that this was a way of stress relief for her." He rubbed his thumb and forefinger over his eyelids tiredly. "I've seen her do it before, but she kept it to a smaller area."

Ahsoka sighed, "If this is how she handles her fear of flying, I'm afraid to see how she'll handle being on a ship in combat."

"What?" Shannon's head popped out from around the corner, though low to the ground as if she was sitting. Her eyes were wide and aware as she stared at the two.

They both gave her an odd look, not quite sure when she got there or how she managed it so quietly. Before either of them could think to respond, Shannon's head disappeared back around the corner as she relaxed against the wall, letting out an exaggerated groan of irritation. Ahsoka and Kix rounded the corner, standing over her as she sat slumped against the wall.

The Togruta knelt down next to her. "I'm sorry I didn't mention it sooner. I didn't know you were as," she paused, trying to word herself correctly, " _sensitive_ as you are. The mission, itself, is simple. My master says it should be quick."

Shannon stared straight ahead at nothing, arms limp at her side. "You just had to say that, didn't you?"

Ahsoka's brow furrowed. "What do you mean by that?"

"Nothing," she answered dismissively. "Anyway, I think I'm going to just sit here for a while. No need to worry about me anymore. Just gonna sit and stare and stay inside my head."

The Padawan looked up at Kix, giving him a questioning look. He answered by raising his hands and shrugging, before walking back to the flight deck to have a seat. Ahsoka sighed before standing, giving the strange woman on the floor one last look before following after Kix to the flight deck.


	6. Memories of Theories

heir falling out of hyperspace announced their arrival to the fleet. It wasn't much longer before a sound alerted them to someone trying to contact them.

Opening the channel, a voice immediately spoke, "That you, Snips?"

"Yeah, it's me," Ahsoka said with a smile. "I got Kix and the mystery woman. We're heading to dock right now."

"Good, I'll meet you there." The comm cut off.

"I like the nickname," came a voice from behind Ahsoka's seat.

The Padawan jumped, though it didn't seem anyone caught it. She looked behind her, at the aforementioned woman who stood close to the door, hands on the wall as if to keep her balance. Shannon moved forward, slowly, drifting away from the wall to a seat to hold onto. Ahsoka watched as Shannon stared in wonder at the gigantic ship ahead of them. Ahsoka smiled at the child-like wonderment, turning back forward to steer them into the docking back.

"This is very disorienting," Shannon stated as she continued to stare out the windows. "Disorienting and amazingly surreal." A small smile appeared on her face. She hoped that she would never get tired of seeing space.

It took a few minutes, but they finally landed. While Ahsoka and Kix had no trouble walking off the ship, Shannon walked slowly, legs shaking slightly, looking like they were going to buckle under her. Seeing that she wasn't obviously anxious, they waited patiently for her outside the ship as she got use to walking around, amused grins on their faces.

"You alright there?" Kix asked, watching as Shannon scanned the area, looking up, down, circling as she took everything in.

All she could manage to do was nod slowly. Her spinning slowly stopped, when Kix eventually put a hand on her shoulder. She looked at him for a moment, coming back to reality, finally noticing that someone had joined them.

The look of wonder dropped from her face as she came to realize who was standing five feet away from her. Anakin didn't quite look like what she remembered he did. He looked older, more tired, and less prone to temper tantrums. Though she wasn't planning on counting on his more harmless appearance. She still had to be wary.

Anakin shifted slightly, raising a questioning brow as he looked between his Padawan and the clone medic. Ahsoka took this as a queue, clearing her throat to snap the staring woman out of her daze.

"Shannon, this is my Master, Anakin Skywalker," Ahsoka started, gesturing to the Jedi standing beside her, then gestured to the other woman. "And this is Shannon, the woman Commander Jack found on Neonus."

He nodded, giving her a small, welcoming smile. "Good to meet you, Shannon. So, I've been told you have a talent with using the force. Is that true?"

She remained quiet, her eyes starting to drift elsewhere awkwardly. The question quickly faded, leaving behind an anxious air. The smile slowly fell from his face as the quiet continued. He looked to Ahsoka for any sort of insight on any of this.

"She's, uh," the Padawan stammered, "very shy. Especially around new people. It's best not to take it personally. As for her ability, I saw the footage of when she used them. Sent Kix, here, flying to the other side of the room," she said, nodding at Kix.

Anakin's eyes locked back on the woman avoiding eye contact. "Really?"

"I can definitely vouch for that, sir." Kix said taking a small step forward.

The Jedi kept his gaze locked on her as she seemed to shrink under his scrutiny. A suspicious look creased his brow. "I sense an immense anxiety in you. Why are you so nervous?" The moment the medic made an attempt to speak up, Anakin held up his hand to stop him. "I want her to answer me. I'm sure she can do it."

The silence lasted a more time than Shannon felt comfortable, especially when they were waiting on an answer from her. Her head twitched nervously, turning herself more towards the Jedi.

Shannon's mouth gaped as she tried to force out words. "I-I… I'm-I have an-anxiet-ty pr-problems. Y-you are a b-b-bit intimid-dating."

Her words wiped the suspicion from his face, replacing it instead from surprise. "Intimidating?" He looked over to his grinning Padawan, who looked like she was trying to keep in laughter. "Do you think I'm intimidating, Snips?"

She looked at her Master amused, while also barely covering her barely contained grin. "Not really. Though, I could see how normal people would."

"And I was under the impression that I was 'normal people'," Anakin smiled, looking back at the quiet woman that stood in front of him.

The sudden light tone made her uncomfortable as she shifted her weight from one foot to the other and back again, gripping tightly at her hands. Only Kix seemed to pick up on this as he gave her a pitying look. Moments later, the Jedi picked up on this as well.

"Relax, I'm not going to interrogate you any further," he said, still smiling, He definitely had a sort of natural charisma. "The question now is where are we going put you while we're in battle?"

Kix spoke up, "I could keep an eye on her, sir. She's use to being around me and it'll probably help her get use to her surroundings."

"You're going to come with us when we board the Separatist ship, you know." He kept his tone light, knowing very well the medic had an answer.

"She'll stay in the medbay," Kix offered. "She spent almost all her time in the medbay on Neonus, so she'll likely feel comfortable there. Plus, she hasn't wandered off yet and never seemed interested in trying to look around by herself."

Anakin nodded, slowly turning his attention back to Shannon. "And how does this sound to our civilian guest?"

When attention turned to her, she didn't shrink away like she did before. It was a simple answer with nothing she could think to argue about. She nodded, "It's fine."

The Jedi nodded, motioning for Ahsoka to follow him. It seemed this was all it took to convince him. Perhaps he was just eager to get to the fight. He probably thought that one civilian couldn't cause enough trouble for her to be sent to more desolate quarters.

As he walked away, he spoke into his comm, telling the crew to set the course so they could get on their way. The further they walked away, the more the starting conversation faded into the din of the landing bay.

The feeling a hand on her shoulder made her jump. "Come on, let's get you situated. It's going to be a long ride."

His hand slid off her shoulder as he walked off in a different direction than the force-wielding pair. Shannon was quick to keep in step beside him, having to take quicker steps to keep up with his stride. _Usually, I'm the one people have trouble keeping up with_ , she thought.

The walk, itself, took a bit of time. The passing clones stared at the new arrival, though most quickly diverted their gaze to offer a greeting to their brother. The stares didn't bother Shannon as much they usually would. All she had to do was keep her stare from leaving the floor. After a few minutes of walking, they finally made it to the medbay.

Looking inside, the room itself seemed larger in comparison to the bay back on Neonus, probably more equipped to handle more immediate injuries than the other. That was only her guess, however. Shannon wandered inside, looking up and around, seeing a vent on the ceiling, one closer to the ground, what looked to be a singer surveillance camera in the corner. She continued walking until she ended up at a bunk, immediately taking a seat and bringing her feet up from the cold ground.

"How you've gone all this time without complaining about not having shoes, I'll never know," Kix said offhandedly as he started checking through supplies.

Shannon shrugged as she scanned the room a few more times. Something felt off. "Y-you're not the only medic in the whole army, are you?"

Kix stopped and did a quick scan around the room before continuing what he was doing. "I'm not the only one know. There's a few of us on each ship, usually. The others might just be off-duty in the mess hall, relaxing before the fight."

A familiar and comfortable silence fell on the room, Shannon drifting away in thought while Kix continued looking through cabinets and kits, getting use to the set-up. About ten minutes into their arrival to the medbay, the door panel slid open, in walking three familiar looking clones. All she could do was stare at them.

"Good to see you're getting settled here, Kix."

Kix turned, straightening his back and giving a quick salute. "Captain Rex, it's good to see you." Relaxing quickly and looked behind his captain. "You too, Jesse, Hardcase."

Hardcase was the most outwardly enthusiastic as he slapped a heavy hand down on Kix's shoulder. "So, how was your post on Neonus? Bet you missed the excitement of the front line."

As they talked, the captain's gaze drifted away from them and to the unnoticed woman sitting on one of the bunks. Their eyes locked for a few seconds, his hard, unwavering stare making her shift her gaze to something else. He took a few steps toward her, standing just far enough away for her to not shrink back into a corner.

"What's your name?"

The single question drew the others attention, drawing notice to the previously unseen person sitting on the bed. Kix moved forward, stepping off to the side towards Shannon, enough to be step up to be her voice, if necessary. Shannon's eyes flitted to him, then to the others. It was still a hard thing to process that they were real. That she was here and they could see her.

She clicked her teeth together, quietly, trying to get herself to form the answer. "Sh-shannon." She still could look at their faces, too close to their eyes, so she settled for just looking close to them.

The other two moved closer, standing a step closer than the captain. At the very least, their demeanor seem more friendly. She still couldn't look straight at them.

"So, you're the one they found at the Neonus outpost," the heavily tattooed Jesse started, gesturing to the others as he introduced them. "It's good to see a new face. I'm Jesse, this is Hardcase, and that there is Rex, our Captain."

A small, "Hi," was all she offered in the attempted conversation.

After a few seconds of nothing, Hardcase spoke up. "Boy, you sure are talkative, aren't you?"

The light sarcasm was not lost on her. Rather than causing more anxiety in her mind, it actually made her make eye contact with Hardcase, if only for a few seconds. Her desire for adding to banter kicked in, though her mind remained silent, and so did she.

"She's very shy around new people," Kix explained, crossing his arms and smiling. "Believe it or not, she is very talkative when you get her going."

Shannon began to drift away as the conversation began to change from something that didn't involve her. They seemed to talk freely around her, mostly due to Kix's trust in her and their trust in him. Everyone besides Rex, who was still suspicious of her. She didn't notice her head slowly drifting to a hang, micro-sleeps causing multiple lapses in time.

The din of the conversation slowly came to a lull as they took notice of her tiredness. The absence of sound woke her up. She opened her eyes, looking up at the departing clones. Kix seemed to be bidding them farewell before walking back over to her.

"Just lay back down and get some sleep," Kix told her, putting a hand on her shoulder to guide her to lay down. He walked off, grabbing something and tossing it at her. A blanket. "I'm going to head to the mess hall with the others. I'll be back later."

Regardless of whether he wanted an answer or not, Shannon said nothing, just complied in lying down. Her mind drifted further and further away, unaware that she was already left alone in the medbay.

* * *

Kix quickly caught up with the others, keeping pace with them as they headed to the mess. His reappearance earned him 'welcome backs' from them before falling back into regular conversation. Or, at least, relevant conversation.

"What _is_ that girl's story, exactly?" Rex asked. "How did she manage to find a military outpost in the middle of nowhere?"

Kix kept himself from sighing. "From what Nym and Vigil said, she didn't find the base. They said she just appeared, unconscious at the edge of the forest."

"And you just accepted it as that?" the captain asked incredulously.

"Don't you think you're being a bit paranoid, Rex?" Jesse interrupted.

Rex paused. "Maybe, but something about her just feels… off."

"She's a Jedi, isn't she? Or something close," Hardcase blurted out. "There's usually something weird about them. Probably comes with the turf."

"Well," Kix started, "you're not far off on that feeling. I'll admit that she is a bit strange. There are reasons, but those are mostly her business to discuss."

The captain nodded wordlessly, the subject dying at that moment. Hardcase was quick to fill the quiet gap with some lighthearted gab. Rex was quiet for the most part, only commenting every so often. Perhaps he was just being paranoid, but it was always best to take precautions just in case the worst should come to pass.

* * *

An hour passed before Kix decided to head back to the medbay. He enjoyed the off time he got to spend with the brothers he had not seen for quite a while. He could only hope to be there to keep them alive in the coming battle.

Walking into the medbay, he saw Ahsoka talking with Shannon, who looked like she was functioning more after the nap. Whatever they were talking about, the conversation died with his arrival. Ahsoka gave him a welcoming smile, both greeting him as he came to a stop by them.

"How was your time with the others?" Shannon asked, a relaxed smile falling on her face.

"It was good," he said, reflecting a relaxed smile of his own. "It's always nice to be able to catch up after being away for so long. Especially when you're in an outpost like Neonus."

"I'm sure a fight will be a good change of pace for you then," Ahsoka commented.

The clone shrugged, "Maybe, if only for the adrenaline. I'd prefer it if I didn't have holes to patch, or brothers to-" his words trailed off quickly, not quite wanting to finish the thought. With a sigh, he changed the subject. "So, what brings you here, Ahsoka?"

Gesturing to Shannon, she answered, "Just talking with Shannon, here. I thought it'd be worth it to see if she could access her powers again. It'd be good if she could figure out the basics by the time we get to the temple."

Kix looked to Shannon, wanting to see what see thought about the idea, only to see that she wasn't quite paying attention anymore. He spoke directly to her, getting her full attention. "Do you think you're up to it?"

She was quiet for a few moments, going over the words that were just said earlier, processing an answer. "I guess. Not like there's anything else for me to do."

Ahsoka started walking past Kix towards the door. She made a 'follow me' gesture with her hand as she went. "Come on, we'll go to my room. It's quiet and has nothing to distract you."

Shannon's shoulders slumped, giving Kix indiscernible look before follow the young Padawan out the room. While she was not thrilled about going to different room, it made sense. She still would've prefered to stay in the medbay; at least there she had a blanket to cover her easily chilled body, especially her feet.

They walked in silence for a bit, Shannon two steps behind the Togruta, staring at the back of her head. Her head tilted as she looked at the still-growing montrals protruding from the girl's head. Whenever she remembered that Ahsoka was an alien, she was filled with surreal wonder that managed to drain away any anxiety she had. It was one of her dreams come true, meeting an alien species, being able to talk and be friendly with them.

She straightened her posture, stretching her back from it's unconscious slouch as another thought came to light. She quickened her step for the moment it took to fall in step beside Ahsoka. She tilted her head again, tilting forward slightly, looking at the bottom most slope between the montrals. She was quick to straighten her back again, still looking at the Padawan.

The odd behavior quickly attracted Ahsoka's attention. She looked that the odd woman with a questioning frown. "What are you doing?"

The question snapped Shannon out of her strange reverie. "Sorta just seeing how tall you were." She felt a bit embarrassed from being caught, but that was it. No real anxiety welling up.

"Why?" She asked, with an amused grin and a laugh in her voice.

"Because I'm short and I take joy in any sort of instance where I'm taller than someone," she stated plainly and without delay. It was a rehearsed and often repeated line in her life.

The Padawan looked like she was trying not to laugh, ultimately failing as the small chuckles bubbled up. "Sorry, I don't mean to laugh."

Shannon gave her a genuine smile, if comically exaggerated smile. "I don't mind. It's a funny thing, and I enjoy making people laugh. It's the little things that keep me going."

"Well, at least you're able to find something," Ahsoka said as her laughter settled into a smile. Before the silence could settle, however, Ahsoka brought up a question that had been burning in her mind. "I've been curious about something Kix said about you. He said you're from another universe?"

The relaxed expression disappeared quickly as her eyes widened in surprise. "Uhh, y-yeah." Her words stopped as her face scrunched into an uncomfortable expression. "Could I just wait to explain it when we get to your room? It's too weird to talk about it here."

Ahsoka nodded in understanding and said nothing more on the matter. The rest of the walk was quiet as they walked down the hall. The clones that passed them would more often than not pass in silence, only a few nodding in greetings to the Padawan.

When they finally made it to Ahsoka's room, she let Shannon pass through first before letting the door slide shut behind them. The Padawan sat on the floor, crossing her legs, gesturing for Shannon to do the same.

Once settle, Ahsoka spoke up, "So, you say you're not from here."

It wasn't a question, but she answered it like it was. "Yeah," she said quietly, nodding slowly.

"How, exactly, do you know you're not from this 'universe'?"

She didn't do air quotes, but Shannon could sure feel them. She tilted her head to the side as she looked to the empty space between them. "The planet I'm from, we haven't really gotten past exploring our own system. We don't even have colonies on other planets. We're still stuck on our planet, and space travel is minimal and dangerous."

The Padawan nodded, humming quietly in thought. "Okay, I guess I can get that. But you're a very troubled person. At least from what I've seen. I would've guessed that you'd need more than a few days to get use to everything. Especially with your episodes."

She bit the inside of her cheek, still staring the empty space. "I'm still getting use to it. Everything here is completely alien to me. Hell, I don't I'm technically literate here."

Ahsoka's brows rose in surprise, but the look quickly settled into something more neutral. "Well, that aside… What I mean to say is that, with your past behavior and problems, it probably should've taken longer to get use to things." Her head tilted slightly, reflecting the woman that sat across from her, but never taking her eyes off Shannon's face. "I sense there is something you're not telling me."

She said nothing, just continued to stare at the ground. The only change was her unconscious fiddling with her fingers.

Ahsoka called her name to draw her attention back to the conversation, or at least to get her to respond.

Shannon's looked up from the ground and at the girl that sat in front of her. She only held eye contact for a few seconds because staring back at the blank space between them. "I don't know if you should know. Chaos theory isn't a very kind thing to begin with."

"What's 'chaos theory'?"

"It's-" she stopped, biting her tongue as she tried to remember the basic explanation. "It's a theory of how changing the order of events- or maybe just the outcome events- changing how it happens and the results... The changes, even seemingly harmless ones, can result in something even more disastrous in the end."

She looked up to Ahsoka to see if she understood. The Padawan looked like she was waiting for her to continue the explanation.

Shannon sighed, not liking that she might be mis-explaining things. She continued regardless, "Imagine going back in time, on planet with creatures that you know to be fossils in your time. You explore the primitive world and as you go, you step on a butterfly- a pretty and delicate flying bug. By stepping on this butterfly, many millennia in the future, you cause a storm that wipes out a continent of the map, killing an innumerable amount of people."

Ahsoka gave her a skeptical look, "And how does this theory play into why you don't want to tell me whatever it is you're not? Do you know something about this- our universe?"

Shannon just slowly shifted her gaze back to the floor, continuing to fiddle with her hands. Ahsoka watched her in silence, eventually sighing and giving up on trying to drag it out of her.

"I'll try to ask more later," she finally said. "For now, let's just try to focus on figuring out if you can _still_ use the force."

Shannon nodded silently, relaxing more as they moved away from the subject. She focused on Ahsoka's words, listening and repeating them in her head so they stick. Even with the desire to focus, her mind would trail off for split seconds, forcing her to ask Ahsoka to repeat what she just said.


	7. Practice makes her need more practice

She was guided back to the medbay before Ahsoka had to head to the landing area, to get ready for the fight. When finally back, she entered to find herself completely alone. She sighed, walking to the bunk she had claimed as hers to sit down. Pulling her hat free from her pocket, she tucked her unruly hair inside, tired of it hanging in a frizzy mess.

She took a deep breath in, slowly letting it out as she brought her legs up, crossing them. Her knees were still sore from sitting in the same position for an hour, but she ignored it easily as she did with more minor pains. Instead, she focused on remembering what Ahsoka taught her, hoping to make some progress.

Setting her hands in her lap, one laying over the other, palms up, thumbs making light contact. Relax, focus, empty your mind, breathe. Feel for something, search for it, find it, listen. Don't let the thumbs rest against each other, keep them just barely touching. Relax, relax, clear your head. Focus, don't drift from the task at hand.

She kept this position for what felt like twenty minutes, though it probably a significantly less amount of time. Shannon sighed, slumping against the wall of the bunk. She felt incredibly silly doing this, going through the motions of meditation. She didn't know what she was suppose to feel for. The Force, obviously, but she didn't know what that _felt_ like.

She stared at the table for a few minutes, in a daze that kept her inside her head, her mind coming up with reasons to feel embarrassed and not to do anything. Eventually snapping from it, with an idea in mind, she began to scan the room for any sort of item. Something small and light. She hopped from her spot, starting to open and look through drawers for anything that fit the bill. She eventually managed to find a small bottle, looking to be made of glass with an unknown liquid; she guess it might be numbing or something close.

With the small bottle acquired, she took long, jumping steps to her bunk and sat just as she had before. While sitting at the head of the bunk, she turned to face the end, putting the bottle in front of her. She took a deep breath, keeping her eyes locked on the bottle. Her hands folded together, just as they were before, and she closed her eyes.

Breathe. Focus.

Shannon jolted, nearly falling off the bed as the ship shook and rumbled. The sudden remembrance that she was on a spaceship in the middle of a space battle with robot enemies was an odd thing to deal with. It was so completely odd that she could not correctly process what was happening. So, instead, she put her head in her hands and groaned.

This entire situation was out of her control, which would usually cause her great distress. By this point, however, it seems that whatever distress and anxiety that she could feel was completely spent. All she could really feel, right now, was the vast numbness that felt like exhaustion. There was nothing she could do to help or control her surroundings. She just wanted a peaceful, controlled environment where nothing threatened her life.

The ship shook again. Her arms splayed out against the bunk, as if that would keep her from falling over. Once the groans of the ship settled, she relaxed, letting her arms slide slowly back into her lap.

She sighed, feeling her heart racing, the blood pulsing through her veins. It's a miracle she wasn't breaking down. She really hoped that she could keep her composure until the end. Reaching forward, she grasped the small bottle and rolled it around in her hand. She wondered if she should continue with her thus far unsuccessful practice.

Another sudden rumble came, making her jump. She was quick to settle back down as she got use to the occasional jolts and the groaning sounds of the ship, though not completely relaxed. Even now she could feel the tension building up in her.

Taking a deep breath in, she tried to will her muscles to relax. Even as the tension released, she could still feel a sore tightness in her shoulders. She continues to hold the bottle as the ship shakes intermittently and she folds her blanket, setting it before her. She drops the bottle onto the blanket, returning her hands to their previously position. Her eyes close, posture straightens. She breathes in and will her mind to shut away the outside world.

She remembered something. A song whose tune took over her mind, downing out the noise and feelings around her. Everything is okay here, nothing can hurt her here. Nothing but herself, and she wasn't about to let any pain or guilt hinder her. Not now.

She takes in another deep, slow breath, pushing the song slowly from her mind until it faded into nothing. Everything faded further, further into nothingness, leaving nothing but a peaceful state of mind.

Something tugs at her mind, trying catch her attention. Another deep breath, willing it to fade. It tugs harder, making her focus waver. This isn't what she was looking for; this was a distraction. She pushed it away, making it vanish into nothing. Her mind relaxed, slowly pushing forward to it's goal.

She reaches out- physically or mentally, she doesn't know. She feels something. Something strange, an intangible power. Hardening her focus, she began to coax it to do what she wanted.

The realities of the outside world jolt her back to full consciousness. An already raised arm helps catch her from falling forward. She looks around, unsure of how much time has passed since she began her meditation.

_I never thought I'd actually be meditating in an unironic way_ , she thought to herself.

She looks down at the small bottle that still laid on the blanket. It was hard to tell if it moved. Was it in this position before?

She sighs, letting her head hang. She felt tired again, but otherwise emotionally unchanged. All she wanted now was for the fight to end so she could get more help from Ahsoka, or at least another pair of eyes that could identify whether or not she's making things move.

A strong lurch sent her falling out of her bunk and onto the ground. Groaning in annoyance, she pushed herself up, eyes immediately catching the blanket that now laid on the floor. Assuming the worst, she pulled up the blanket, revealing the completely intact bottle. She gave a sigh up relief as she picked it up and went to put it back into the drawer it came from.

The shipped continued to shake and jolt as it was hit. Whatever was happening out there was probably not going so well. She half expected red lights to start flashing, signalling all on the ship to get to the escape pods. She really hoped that didn't happen, mostly for the fact that she doesn't know where they are.

A particularly large quake tripped her up, forcing her to the ground in a hard landing. After grumbling in pain for a few seconds, she gave up trying to stand. Instead, she opted to just sprawl out on the floor, letting the chill of the floor sink into her. The convulsion of the ship no longer affected her, just made her slide or jump an inch or two around at any given time.

Thoughts of her anxiety began to bubble up, though that is just what they remained: thoughts. She knew that at any other point, she would be a blubbering mess of snot and tears. Right now, however, all she felt was exhaustion and apathy. This was her prefered state of being. Less messy and easier to deal with.

Ten- maybe twenty- minutes later, the groaning and shaking of the ship stopped. A different, smaller jolt came. Were she not keenly aware of her surroundings at the moment, she know she would've missed it.

Everything felt eerily still now. It was off-putting now that she was use to the feeling of a shaking ship in combat.

She laid there for a few more minutes before slowly sitting up, a _whoosh_ sounding behind her. She contorted her body and neck to look behind her, at whoever just walked through the door. A few of clone medics she had never seen before filed into the room, guiding injured clones to the bunks to treat them. Cautiously and quietly, she moved out of the way and to a corner, hoping to not be noticed by the multitude of people in the bay.

It wasn't until Kix walked through the door that she was noticed. Luckily, he seemed to be the only one to pay her any mind as the others were focused on treating wounds. He crossed the room over to her, quietly putting his hand on her shoulder to guide her out of the medbay. She was appreciative of his actions, because she knew she wouldn't have dared moved from her spot to escape the now crowded room.

Once outside in the hall, she let out a sigh as Kix let his hand fall from her shoulder. She look up at him as she leaned against the wall, letting out a sigh of his own. A few scorch marks scuffed his armor, but apart from that and the sweat glistening on his forehead, he appeared unharmed.

Unknowing of what to say or do, she asked the first thing that seemed relevant. "How did it go over there?"

Kix stared at the wall opposite of him for a few moments before answering. "We were successful in our mission. For the most part. There was a lot more droids than we were really planning on blasting." He looked over at her, receiving nothing but a continued stare and a head tilt. He sighed again, looking back at the wall. "We lost a lot of people today. The ones you saw in there were some of the more critically injured ones." He pinched the bridge of his nose, scrunching his eyes shut.

She continued her stare for a moment longer before shifting her gaze to the ground, bringing her hands in front of her, wringing them together. "There's nothing I can think to say besides 'I'm sorry'. And I know that isn't enough express my sympathy."

He looked at her again, his stare lingering before a weak smile pulled at his mouth. He pushed himself off the wall, placing a hand on her shoulder. "It's fine- well, not _fine_ \- but I appreciate the effort."

She look up to him, returning his smile with a small one of her own, before the sound of approaching footsteps drew her attention away. She turned around to see who it was, unnoticing of Kix's hand falling from her shoulder. Approaching were the two Jedi and Captain Rex. She kept herself from looking at their faces, instead focusing on spaces around them so she was still looking toward them.

Rex was the first to say anything, looking past her and at Kix. "Come on, Kix, we need to see if there's any stubborn idiots walking around with injuries."

The medic, smiled, giving his captain a quick nod. "Yessir."

The trio watched them go, Kix giving Shannon a small wave before walking side-by-side with the captain.

"Glad to see you didn't take the chance to run off," Anakin remarked.

As her gaze snapped to him, Shannon's eyebrows drew together, giving him a look of mild offence. Her lips parted slightly as if she wanted to say something, but she just stood and stared, looking straight at his face.

Looking between the two, Ahsoka spoke, trying to clear things up. "I told him that you weren't very keen on the idea of Jedi bringing you to the Temple."

Her gaze drifted as she gave a slow nod in understanding. Not like she could anyway, since she didn't know how to fly a ship nor did she have any practical survival skills that would keep her alive in civilization.

"You shouldn't worry," Anakin spoke up again. "The Council will know what to do with you. At the very least they'll give you a room and probably some new clothes."

She reflexively looks down at her clothes. They were starting to become grungy from constant wear. And she still had no shoes.

Looking back up at the Jedi Knight, she spoke, "Shoes would definitely be nice."

The offhand comment almost made Ahsoka laugh, and definitely made Anakin's relaxed smile turn into a smirk. The reactions from the two made her small smile return to her face. At least she could still be humorous with her deadpan statements.

"So, how did you handle being on a ship in the midst of battle?" Ahsoka asked, shifting her weight to her right foot.

Shannon looked off, thinking quietly for a moment. "Nerve-wracking. Tiring. Didn't freak out though, not outwardly. I think I'm too emotionally drained for any big reaction for a while. Hopefully, anyway."

Ahsoka gave her a pleased smile, though it was Anakin who spoke up this time. "Ahsoka told me told you the basics of force training. How much of it actually stuck?"

She hummed in thought. "I thought I was getting somewhere, but I fell off the bunk. I may have started dozing off, probably hallucinated something." She shrugged, looking more at Anakin now. "After falling, I pretty much gave up for the time being. Figured I might do better in a calmer environment, or with supervision. Or both."

The Jedi looked to his Padawan. "Do you think you can handle that, Ahsoka?"

"It's a simple enough task, so yes."

He nodded, a smile playing on his face. "Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go make my report." With that he walked off in the direction the two clones went, eventually disappearing around a corner.

"Come on," Ahsoka said, waving her hand in a 'follow me' gesture. "We'll go back to my bunk. Hopefully, there we'll learn if you progressed at all."

"Don't put too much hope in that," Shannon quickly responded. "It usually ends with disappointment in my case."

The Togruta gave her an odd look. "Well, with that attitude, it's hard to imagine why," she retorted, sarcasm rolling naturally off her words as she began walking down the hall..

Shannon smiled, easily holding in the small laughter that would have come as she followed the younger girl down the hallway. "It comes from years of stress and experience in setting my goals too high for myself to reach. It just got worse and worse as time went on, until I started to finally just set myself at the lowest standard."

"I guess that makes sense," Ahsoka admitted. "Especially given your problems with handling stress. Was there any way for you to control it where you're from?"

She nodded, thinking suddenly on whether or not this universe dealt with psychological disorders with pharmaceuticals. "I had medication that pretty much slowed down the mood swings and nulled most extreme emotion. Unless it's too big for the meds to stop or slow. Then I just either cry it out or dissociate for a bit."

"Well, that seems to be a better way to deal with it," Ahsoka responded, glimpsing down at the scabbed over scratches on Shannon's arms and hands.

Shannon's hand twitched involuntarily, feeling the girl's eyes on her.

The rest of the was quiet, save for the tapping of their feet on the cold, metal floor. She looked down at her bare feet, listening to her quiet steps compared to Ahsoka's near silent taps. She would never fully understand why she enjoyed listening to footsteps on different flooring. It like had something to do with video games.

With her mind about to switch tracks, Ahsoka managed to regain her attention as they arrived at her bunk. Her thoughts snapped to focus, like they did when she was suddenly completely awake. Taking a seat on the floor, she waited for the Padawan to resume her teachings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> shannon uses memories of Here Comes a Thought to help with meditation


	8. Judgement Day

The shuttle ride down wouldn't take long, though the passage of time warped for Shannon as she was trying to stay calm while facing one of her biggest fears. She kept a knuckle-white grip on the seat, even trying to grip the floor with her toes, as if that would steady her. Her eyes were wide and absent, staring straight ahead. She couldn't tell if her eyes were burning from the tears trying to push their way or if she just hadn't blinked in a while.

Ahsoka came to check on her occasionally, mostly to make sure the incident of the previous flight didn't happen again. A few times, she tried to snap Shannon out of her daze with conversation, only to be met with uneasy, discordant murmurs. She eventually found it best to just look in, doing little to distract her from her focus of staying calm.

The Jedi Knight stay up front in the pilot seat, flying the ship steadily down to the planet. He watched his Padawan get up continuously to go check on the quiet civilian. This wasn't very typical behavior, not from her at least.

"So, how's our ride-along?" Anakin asked, a smirk gracing his features.

"She's handling herself pretty well," she answered, not looking at him as she sat back into the co-pilot's seat.

"And the last _ten_ times you've checked on her?" He watched for her reaction from the corner of his eye.

Her brow scrunched together as she turned to look at him. She forced her expression to relax into something more neutral. "You think I'm being overprotective?"

The Jedi shrugged, turning more towards Ahsoka. "Maybe a bit. She's a nervous person, but I'm sure she can handle herself on a little shuttle ride."

A short, indignant laugh came from his Padawan as she shook her head. "You didn't see what she did to herself on the ride over to the fleet." She let out a sigh before continuing, "Before we actually got on the shuttle, which she apparently didn't realize until then that we'd be taking, she told me and Kix that she had a fear of flying. Which is weird because you can't get anywhere without flying. She managed to get herself on board and Kix and I thought that'd be it, but after taking off Kix went to go check on her. I didn't see it myself, but she was clawing at her arms and throat. That's where the scars came from, if you even noticed them."

By the end of it, Anakin had activated autopilot and turned fully to his Padawan. "So, we brought an unstable, force-sensitive woman- who has a history of self-harm and uncontrolled outbursts- onto this small shuttle. Well, it's nice to finally be informed." The last sentence was said quickly and sarcastically, as he face back again to the controls, switching back to manual flight.

Despite herself and what her Master's snark, she smiled. "Hey, it's not like she's done anything yet."

" _Yet_ ," Anakin emphasized.

"When she gets use to it, she'll be fine. It takes her a bit, but she bounces back," Ahsoka finished, crossing her arms and relaxing back into her seat.

He gave her a sidelong glance, quickly returning his attention to actually flying. "At least, you're learning how to handle her. Or, I guess, just understand her." He paused for a moment before speaking again, "Remind me what you've learned about her."

Ahsoka looked at her Master curiously as she answer, "I don't really know much, to be honest. Besides her basic interests in art and music, she didn't really say anything. She's generally self-deprecating, sarcastic, and has a strange sense of humor. The only _real_ _thing_ of note is that she says she's not from this universe."

Anakin chuckled, "It's always something weird, isn't it?"

She nodded, unable to keep the grin from stretching across her face. "The weird stuff always _does_ seem to fall into our laps."

A comfortable silence fell between them, as Anakin flew the ship over the city covered planet. His eyes fixed on the horizon, knowing where we was going and how to get there without actually seeing, on instinct. His mind began to focus on a thought, similar to the last conversation he had with Rex, before they had departed from the Republic cruiser.

"Do you think she knows anything important?" he asked, breaking the silence.

Ahsoka looked over to him, staring at his profile before turning back forward and responding. "I'm not sure. If she's really from where she says she is, then probably not. Honestly, I think I'd prefer to believe that than think she's hiding something."

With one last hum of affirmation from him, silence descended once again.

They were close to the landing port by this point. Within a few minutes, they had landed and the Jedi/Padawan pair walked out. Near the exit, they saw Shannon still sitting in her seat, rocking side to side, her feet up in the seat and crossed. She hummed, patiently, stopping when she saw the two approaching her. Hopping from her seat, she followed them out the shuttle.

The sudden sunlight made her squint, trying to get use to the light change and the new headache that formed with the bright exposure. At least her feet we're quite as cold as before. She brought her hands to her face, rubbing her eyes. Seeing was a reasonable task now.

Ahsoka was standing next to her, an amused smile playing on her face. "You okay, there?"

Nodding, she joked, "Yeah, I just forgot how much I hate the sunlight." Okay, maybe it wasn't a joke.

The other laughed nonetheless before waving her hand to follow her. Ahead, Anakin was talking with someone. It didn't her long to figure out that it Obi-Wan Kenobi. She took a moment to scream in her mind, quickly shutting it down, just in case Jedi's _could_ read minds. Just in case. She found herself squinting slightly at Obi-Wan, as they approached, looking at him. Just as Anakin looked very much the same to the way he was portrayed in her universe, so did Obi-Wan. As soon as the conversing pair turn to them, she shifted her gaze elsewhere.

"Obi-Wan, this is Shannon, the one the unit on Neonus found," Anakin introduced. "Shannon, this is Obi-Wan Kenobi, Jedi Knight and part of the Jedi Council."

She felt herself stiffen at the sound of her name, her eyes snapping to Anakin then to the Jedi she was being introduced to. When she saw that his eyes were on her, she diverted her eyes once again, staring past him, moving slowly to look at the ground.

Without missing a beat, the bearded Jedi began speaking. "It's good to finally meet the one that's been causing a fuss."

She couldn't stop the snark that came so naturally, "Well, gee, good to know I'm not a bother." As soon as she processed what she said, her eyes widened, continuing to keep her gaze to the floor in sudden embarrassment. The screaming in her head resumed.

There was a shocked silence among them, before a failed stifling of laughter and a quiet chuckle broke it. The laughter made her look up, carefully, at the trio; Ahsoka was covering her mouth, still attempting stop her laugh from escaping; Anakin's shoulders bounced ever so slightly as he laughed; Obi-Wan continued his stare, a half-smile appearing on his face.

"And I thought you said she was shy?" Obi-Wan quipped, looking almost smugly at his former Padawan.

"She was," Anakin answered, smiling, "when I was first introduced to her, anyway."

"Sorry," she responded quickly, quietly.

Obi-Wan looked at her again, surprise wiping away the smile. A moment passed before it returned. "No need to apologize. It's good to see you've relaxed since you first appearance. I hear you were quite apprehensive when you first woke up."

She didn't respond, merely shrugged as she let the previous embarrassment settle into a more tranquil mood.

She could almost hear the sigh in his voice as Obi-Wan began talking again, "The Council has been waiting for your arrival. Let's not keep them waiting."

The two Jedi in front of her turned, walking side by side into the Temple. They began talking with each other, probably one telling the other what new ordeal they went through. Surely, there was enough going on with the war that their conversation would never dull.

Feeling a hand on her upper arm, she looked at Ahsoka. She wore a sympathetic smile, and nodded ahead at the other pair. With a sigh, Shannon walked side-by-side with her, keeping a small distance between them and the conversing Jedi ahead of them so they could have their own possible conversation without being overheard.

"So," started the taller girl walking with her, "are you nervous about appearing in front of the Council?"

Shannon looked at her for a moment before looking back at their path. "I don't know, honestly. I think I should be a bit anxious but I'm not. I don't really feel anything, so I'm either just calm or resigned to the flow of events."

"Well, it's better than your usual 'frozen with fear' behaviour," Ahsoka half-joked, a smile playing on her face.

It brought a small smile to her otherwise expressionless face. She thought a bit more, for a few moments, about actually standing in front of the Council, more than likely having to talk with them. "Would it be possible for you to, uhm, stand with me when I have to talk with them? I'm starting to feel the nervousness, now."

Ahsoka gave a small laugh, "Sure, I'm sure they won't mind."

Shannon really hoped they wouldn't.

The walk continued on for a bit longer. It was weird, walking through the halls of the Jedi Temple, watching the robed Jedi- human and otherwise- pass them, usually only giving passing glances. Apart from their quiet footsteps and occasional conversation, too incoherent to understand, all was quiet. It was only a few minutes before they arrived at the Jedi Council's chambers.

Shannon felt the nervousness bubbling up, heard the quiet screaming in the back of her mind. Some part of her still didn't believe this was real, but her nature forced to go with it. She could feel a small twitch beginning in her hands and fingers.

"Dammit, Ahsoka, you've psyched me out," she quietly hissed at her friend.

The girl in question put a hand over her mouth, trying not to laugh. "Just breathe. You'll be fine."

She was able to keep her snarky comments to herself, this time. Still, she took Ahsoka's advice and tried to take smooth, deep breaths, trying to stop her shaking. Feeling eyes on her, she looked up at the two Jedi who watched her patiently.

Assuming she was ready, Obi-Wan turned to the door, letting it slide open before entering the room. Anakin was next through the door. She couldn't get herself to follow, instead focused on the minute twitches that felt like deep and heavy tremors. It wasn't until she felt a light hand on her shoulder that she was once again brought back to the present. She glanced at Ahsoka, who gave her a reassuring smile. Facing back to the open door, she took a deep breath and walked through, following Anakin's lead, Ahsoka right behind her.

Like all of her time existing in this new reality, stepping into the Council Chambers was strange. For this moment, it was like looking at a photograph of a place and then finally experiencing being there. Were she not so anxious about standing in front of a small audience whose attention would be on her, she may have enjoyed being there.

She looked up to see who all was there. It was definitely not the full Council, but they were all ones she recognized, even if should couldn't remember all of their names. Those she did remember were Yoda, Mace Windu, and Plo Koon. Besides them, there were three who were sitting in.

Her gaze moved to Obi-Wan who stood close to center of the room, watching her. She felt this stare meant she was supposed to stand next to him. She looked back at Ahsoka, who now stood with her Master further away from the center, and hoped to receive the support she asked for. Ahsoka mouthed for her to go. _Distant support it is then_ , she thought to herself as she turned back around, walking to stand next to Obi-Wan.

As she came to a standstill beside him, the Jedi Master introduced her, as well as introducing the Council, naming those who she did not know; Adi Gallia, Saesee Tiin, and Ki-Adi-Mundi. As Obi-Wan went to go take a seat, she looked at them, unsure of the social protocol, nervously clasping her hands together. She could feel her scabs starting to itch.

Windu was the first to speak. "We've been told you were found on Neonus. How did you end up there?"

Her throat felt dry, but she tried to speak regardless, "N-Nym an-and Vigil. They-they said that I-I just appeared. I was un-unconscious." She focused her gaze on Windu, feeling herself shrink and her throat crush.

He kept a steady stare, as if waiting to hear more.

She let her gaze drift away again, becoming more neutral in her sight as she took a breath. "Before that, I was just in my-my room. I may have fallen asleep, I don't real-really remember."

There was silence for a few moments before the Jedi spoke again, "Where are you from, exactly?"

She chewed at her tongue, feeling her move and pick across the itching scabs. "Not, uhm, from here. Planet or o-oth-therwise."

"How do you mean?" It was a different voice this time; Plo Koon's.

She looked at him, before her eyes drifted and she replied, "Where I'm fr-from, w-we haven't got-gotten out of our system yet. Ah-and only a handful of p-people have been off of our planet. We def-definitely haven't found other life."

"What does this mean, exactly?" Obi-Wan asked.

She felt part of the soft scab bunch up and collect under her nail, eventually ment with a small, unnoticeable prick of blood. "It means that I'm not from this universe, your universe."

She could feel the stares on her, sometimes even the ones passing over her, like a temporary pressure. Her gaze dropped down to the floor as a more tense silence fell on them. She forced herself to stop scratching, instead substituting it for squeezing her hands.

"Quick you are at accepting your decided predicament, young one." Without looking, she could recognize the speech pattern, if not the voice. The wrinkled, green alien stared at her, contemplating something.

She could feel a response forming in her head, but by the time it would be complete, the moment to say it will have passed. She chooses to settle for a shrug.

"To be from another universe would certainly be an _interesting_ situation," Windu spoke again, " _if_ what you're saying is true."

She felt the tick of annoyance. Insinuations of lying always had it's own button, though it was rarely pushed. "Whether or not you believe me doesn't make it any less true." Her hand squeezed tighter around the other as she heard the venom in her words. She could feel the bones and muscles in her squeezed hand screaming in agony, begging to be released.

Eyes shifted, from her and to others, silent looks with hidden words. The tension released as they let her fleeting anger pass, moving on to a different subject of her being here.

"We've been told you tossed one of our Clone Medics across a room," said a voice she wasn't completely use to hearing. One who she did not see a lot of, Adi Gallia.

Shannon loosened the grip on her hand, taking a few seconds to breathe as she nodded. She could feel the guilt of the incident crawling back from the forgotten corner of her mind. She pushed it away as she tried to speak, "I was… panicking, it's a bit hard t-to kee-keep straight what I d-did. I just remember-ber a push and then im-im-immense guilt."

"If it helps the Council," Ahsoka said, stepping up closer to her friend, "I've seen the recording of the incident. She pushed him, with only barely touching him. Before he even went over it, the items on the table flew off. I believe that in her panicked state, she was able to use the Force in a way that she felt was self-defense."

Shannon gave her a sidelong look, appreciative of Ahsoka coming to her aid.

"We know what happened, Ahsoka," Obi-Wan spoke, putting a hand up as if to stop her from interrupting again. "We only wished to know what occurred from Shannon's point of view."

There was a quiet, "Oh," that came from her, but that was it. Her eyes drifted downward in what felt to be embarrassment, not wanting to make eye contact with the Council.

The Council exchanged looks again, coming to a silent, collective decision.

"Please, leave us while we come to a decision."

Shannon didn't really catch who said that, and she couldn't move fast enough to get out of there. Once outside the room with Ahsoka and Anakin, she a few steps away before coming to a stop and running her hands up and then down her face. The Togruta watch her friend's ministrations before her attention was pulled away by her Master.

"Ahsoka, I know you were trying to help your friend, but you know not to speak up like that while in front of the Council," Anakin said, sighing.

"I only thought that they should know _ALL_ of what happened," Ahsoka defended. Offhandedly, she added, "Even if they _did_ already know."

"Not like she really hurt anything," Shannon spoke up suddenly. She pulled the cap off her head that contained her mess of hair, before running her fingers through it, shaking out to it's natural state of loose and wild.

When she turned around, she saw Ahsoka covering a smile as she tried to stop the giggles. Anakin kept a mostly passive face, only having a questioning eyebrow raised. Shannon looked away, going to a wall and sliding her back down it before plopping to a sit. Her arms rested on her knees, her hands fiddling with the knit cap as she stared at the opposing wall.

"Are you worried?" Ahsoka asked, coming to sit next to her, cross legged.

Shannon shrugged. It was one of the more honest shrugs she has done. "I honestly don't know. I probably should be, but I either don't care enough or I think everything is going to be fine. I can't tell which it is." She let out a low, quiet, self-deprecating chuckle, letting it die quickly.

Anakin took a few steps forward to be more in Shannon's immediate line of sight. "You know this is your _life_ that's being decided at this moment, right? Do you really just not care?"

She let her head slump back onto the wall, still fiddling with her cap. "After so many tiring emotional rollercoasters in a day, I'm a bit too tired to worried. Besides, worrying would not help anything, especially me. I know how much worrying can kill someone. I've spent my whole life like that, worrying and stressing. I just want to relax for a little bit."

He was silent for a minute, before sighing and bowing his head. "You have a point. It's just odd to see you reacting as cooling as this compared to when you were talking with the Council."

"Social Anxiety is a funny thing, my dude," Shannon said, throwing her cap on her face.

The quiet for awkward for a moment, as they processed her odd turn of phrase. Letting it go, they sat in silence as minutes passed them by as they waited for the Council to open the door and give them their final decision. Shannon felt her mind drifting quietly and peaceful before the sudden air release of a door opening shocked her back to full consciousness.

There stood Obi-Wan, an impassive expression on his face. He spotted the trio quickly enough, walking over. Ahsoka helped Shannon to her feet, both immediately having their attention on the bearded Jedi.

"The Council has come to a decision," he started. "Shannon, you will be staying here, at the Temple. While you will not be trained as a Jedi, we will help you learn to control the Force, if only to prevent further incidents from happening."

She ran a hand through her hair as she slid her cap back over the mess. While she was glad for having a place to stay, she wasn't exactly thrilled that it was going to be at a place where a massacre would occur in the near future. All she could think to say was, "Alright."

Obi-Wan looked at her curiously for a moment. "Well, that wasn't quite the response I expected. Ahsoka, would you please show her around the temple while a room is prepared for her? I still have things to discuss with Anakin."

The Padawan looked curiously between the two full-fledged Jedi, but complied with his request. She waved for Shannon to follow her as they began their way down the hallway.

As soon as they rounded a corner, Anakin turned to his former Master. "I'm guessing there was something more to what the Council said."

Obi-Wan nodded, "Yes, we all sense something very strange about her. Like she's out of place, something that stands out, in a way. If what she says about being from another universe is true, then that could very well explain."

"So, you believe she's telling the truth?"

"Not necessarily, but I have no way to prove otherwise. For now, we'll just have to take her word for it."

A few moments of silence passed before Anakin spoke up again, "That isn't all they talked about, is it? What else did they say?"

Obi-Wan stroked his beard, a look of contemplation and focus overtaking his features. "Master Yoda said he sensed she was hiding something. Something that could very well be important to us and to the war."

"Wait, to the war?" Anakin held a look of disbelief. "Is she's from a different universe, how could know anything about the war _here_?"

"I don't pretend to understand it, but I can feel that she's hiding something," Obi-Wan admitted. "Whether or not it pertains to the war is something different. Regardless, the Council wants you to keep an eye when you can. Just be discreet about it."

Anakin gave him a smirk. "So on top on leading an army into battle, the Council now wants me to babysit? Yeah, no problem," he said jokingly before his expression turned serious. "I'll do what I can. I'm already having Rex try to see if he can get anything from Kix. I believe she may have confided in him. He was the one who she spent the most time with those first three days here."

Obi-Wan nodded, a calm smile growing on his face. "Glad to see you're already on it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere else to be."

The two Jedi went their separate ways, suspicions of their new resident in the Temple the largest thing on their mind. Both hoped to figure out what she knows. The thoughts are eventually pushed aside in favor of their current tasks.


	9. A New Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I haven't been writing as much as i should be and i'm going to regret that very soon

They had been walking around the Temple for the better part of half an hour. They even ran into a few younglings who seemed to be on their way to training. They didn't seem to much question who the new face was, aside from asking her name. Shannon acted as she usually did with children; polite, smiling, and complying with answering any sort of question, managing to mute any sort of anxiety socializing would bring on. It was a brief encounter, much to Shannon's relief.

Not much longer after that encounter, Ahsoka had shown her to the library. They walked in, pleasantly greeted by Jocasta, who introduced herself to Shannon. The old woman smiled sweetly, offering her assistance should they need it, before walking off further into the library.

A thought came to mind as Shannon looked over the books on the shelves. It wasn't until they passed through the doors, back into the hall that she voiced it, "I just realized something. I'm not technically literate here."

Ahsoka looked at her in surprise. She opened her mouth to say something, quickly closing it as she thought of something better to say. "I honestly didn't think about that. Especially since we seem to understand each other well enough."

Shannon hummed for a moment. "Since our languages are phonetically similar, it should be simple enough to make something where I can teach myself to read." She went silent as she train of thought went elsewhere. She remembered creating different alphabets when she was younger, deciphering weird text fonts even later, temporarily training her to understand it and occasionally be able to write in it.

Earlier on her tour of the temple, Ahsoka had shown her what Shannon privately deemed the residential area, where Jedi and younglings alike were assigned rooms to rest in. Assuming and hoping for Shannon's own room to be ready to be given, they headed back that way.

Walking down the halls, they came upon another Jedi, one Shannon was almost certain she hadn't seen before, who walked toward them with purpose. They informed the duo that they were sent to show Shannon the way to her room. With relaying that information, they began walking off, probably assuming Shannon would follow.

Shannon took a few hesitant steps forward, looking back to Ahsoka, hoping she would follow. She received a smile from Ahsoka as she fell into step beside her, both quickening their pace to catch up with the Jedi.

It wasn't long before they stopped. The Jedi pressed a button to open the door, letting them step inside. They gave a hurried farewell before disappearing from the doorway.

The room itself wasn't much to look at, of course. _This_ is _a Jedi Temple_ , Shannon reminded herself as she test the futon with her bare foot. She was quick to acceptable before spinning around to let herself fall back onto it. While not a very comfortable or good idea, she let out a sigh as she relaxed into the mattress.

With the release of the sigh, came the weight of exhaustion from the day. It was then that she also felt the coagulation of filth from days without showers or clean clothes. The longer she laid there, the more it pushed to the forefront of her mind.

She sat up in one sudden motion, catching Ahsoka's attention. "What is the clothing situation, exactly? Is there like a giant closet where you just pick up whatever fits or is there a tailor?" There was humor in her voice, but that didn't downplay the genuinity of the question.

She laughed before waving her hand, taking a few steps toward the door. "Come on, we'll find you something else to wear."

Even as she pushed herself off the futon, Shannon was already missing sitting down and otherwise relaxing. She followed Ahsoka out of the room, down the hall, eventually walking out of the Temple. A small tick of paranoid bit at the back of her mind, but forced herself to ignore it, knowing Ahsoka wouldn't purposely harm her.

They walked silently together before the paranoia turned to curiosity and Shannon spoke up. "Where are we going, exactly?"

Ahsoka looked to her, as if suddenly remember she has been following her, before smiling and turning back forward. "We're going to see an acquaintance of mine. I helped her out a few times, so I think she won't mind helping you get some new clothes."

Shannon squinted her eyes, more out of nervousness than suspicion. She never really liked asking strangers for help, thinking she'd be a bother and waste of time in the end.

Still, she followed Ahsoka down into a crowded market. They took an elevator down a few floors, into a less crowded area, eventually finding their way to a small shop front. Ahsoka opened the door, stepping through. Shannon let out an exasperated sigh before following her into the shop.

As the door slid shut behind her, Shannon let her eyes wander around the shop. It reminded her of the antique stores she went, definitely as quiet as one. While some of the items looked to be old due to the dust gathering on top, she honestly couldn't be so sure. Most of what she was seeing, she had never seen before. There was jewelry, some clothes, what could either be a toy or a spring trap, as well as other sorts of knick knacks.

The sound of bells made Shannon's attention snap to the back of the store, where Ahsoka was apparently heading. Through a doorway- whose only 'door' consisted of a curtain of jingling beads and bells- an older woman walked through. Her skin was a chalky white, contrasted by dark, spiked and swirling, symmetrical tattoos, though some were covered head ornamentation with thin, sweeping chains circling her head. The tattoos stretched over her eye, adding even more contrast to her white eyes. With the woman came a smell that reminded Shannon of the cigarettes her mother smokes, but there was a distinctly sweeter smell to it.

The Rattataki woman was quick to notice the Padawan, slower to walk to her, using a cane to help her across the room. She smiled sweetly at Ahsoka as she greeted her, "It's good to see you again, child. It has been too long since we've had a chance to chat with each other." Her voice sounded hoarse, much like a smoker's voice would sound. There was also a melancholy sound to it, as if she was a grandmother whose children had finally come over to visit.

Ahsoka returned the smile, though her's was more apologetic, "I know, Sayi. I'm sorry I haven't been able to come over as much as I would like. The war has me running around the Galaxy-"

The old woman interrupted her with a lighthearted laugh, as she patted the Padawan's shoulder. "Don't worry, my dear. I understand that the war takes precedence over an old woman's loneliness," she consoled, giving another laugh before turning to Shannon, finally taking notice of her. Slowly she hobbled over to the woman, who seemed frozen in place from being spotted. "I take it this is a friend of your's, Ahsoka?"

Ahsoka's eyes widened for a split second before relaxing. "Ah, yes. This is Shannon. She's new to Coruscant and the Temple. Shannon, this is Sayiri Mosk."

Neither really responded. Sayiri seemed preoccupied with circling the woman, looking her over. When she rounded back to her front, she reached out, feeling the material of her shirt. Shannon quietly watched, not moving an inch.

"Odd clothing," she commented. "I suppose you're here for more than tea and a chat, then."

Ahsoka reacted to what Shannon guess to be 'grandma guilt', sputtering as she apologized again. "I'm sorry, Sayi. I just hoped you would be able to provide some assistance in providing Shannon with some new clothes. Some that would help her fit in more."

Sayiri raised a brow, sending an amused smile to Ahsoka. "Fit in with the Jedi or the general populace?" Before she could answer, Sayiri laughed. She waved her hand for them to follow her as she began making her way slowly to the curtained doorway. "Come to the back. I'll see what I can do for her."

An echoing thank you came from the pair as they followed her through the beads and bells. The sweet scented nicotine smell hit Shannon softly, slowly relaxing her body and mind. It was similar affect of secondhand exposure to her mother's smoking. She took a slow, deep breath, letting the relaxed sensation take over completely.

Sayiri sat in a backless, spinning chair, setting her cane against a desk. She spun around, waving a hand at Shannon. "Come over here, dear. I need to measure you."

She complied easily, quietly stepping forward. She raised her arm to move them out of the way as the old, alien woman started measuring at the hip. Ahsoka excused herself, walking into another room saying she was going to make some tea. It was quiet between the two. Only the sound of the squeaking chair and fingers pulling across the measuring tape permeated the room.

"Please take this off," Sayiri requested, tugging at Shannon's button up as an indication. "It's going to get in the way too much, too loose to get the best measurements."

Shannon's fingers twitched slightly, feeling a short lived wave of anxiety hit her before the tranquility fell over her again. She fumbled slightly as she slowly unbuttoned her shirt, letting it fall at her feet. Underneath the shirt was a seafoam green tank top, which mostly covered her white and black sports bra. Along with the new chill, the sudden remembrance of her unshaved armpits made her self-conscious and reluctant to lift her arms.

Sayiri either didn't notice her discomfort or chose not to react to it, continuing with her measurements, memorizing the woman's dimensions. When lifting Shannon's arm to take it's length, she said nothing of Shannon's body hair, finding nothing unusual about it.

"Alright, dear, I'm done," Sayiri announced, spinning her chair back around to jot a few things down on a piece of flimsy. She stood up, reaching to grab what looked to be a book with many loose pieces of flimsy sticking out. As she sat back down, she waved Shannon away as she opened to book, flipping through it. "Go take a seat. I'm sure Ahsoka will be back with the tea in a bit."

Shannon picked up her shirt, sliding it back on as she walked to sit down on the couch that the old woman had gestured to. Her hands sat between her thighs, warming them back up as her eyes drifted around the new room. It felt like it was supposed to be a living room, but was also meshed with a craft room. Bolts of different fabrics laid in piles around the room, not organized in any way that she could tell; adjustable mannequins of different physiques- most likely to fit to different alien body types- sat in the corner next to the desk where Sayiri sat; metal crafts, electronics, and circuitry were scattered across another desk, torches attached to what looked to be oxygen-acetylene tanks; multiple half-finished or just started projects laid scattered, a few even on the wooden ottoman table in front of her.

Shannon had no idea as to what the function or purpose of any of the projects were, her lack of knowledge only making her curious. She scooted silently over on the couch, leaning forward to get a better look at the bare object in front of her. Carefully she reached out to move it around and examine it. It looked to be a simple system of moving parts. Or potentially moving parts. Turning it over in her hand, she found a sort of key, pretty and decorative, though also serving a purpose. She tried to turn it, finding it to take more effort than she felt comfortable exerting. She moved on from it, another part of it drawing her attention. A strip of metal, cut almost all the way down to split it, making it look like keys on a piano. With an inkling of what it was she held in her hand, she plucked one of the small, metal keys with her fingernail. A sweet, quiet note drifted into the air, permeating the silence. Shannon smiled slight as her suspicions were confirmed; it was the mechanical bit of a music box, though missing the typical, cylindrical, metal sheet what was use to play the music.

"I see you've taken an interest of one of my contraptions."

Shannon's head snapped towards the old woman, slowly and gently setting the unfinished music box back on the table.

Sayiri laughed gently, "Don't worry yourself, dear, I don't mind a little curiosity." She turned back to her book, flipping through pages and scribbling on another piece of flimsy.

Shannon looked between the pale woman and the metal contraption, opening and closing her mouth as she thought of what to say. "Wh-where is the music sheet thing?" Her words were slow as she was still thinking of what to say as she said it.

"Never made it," she answered quickly, not looking up from her work. "Couldn't think of a tune, so i never bothered to finish it."

Shannon hummed quietly, focusing back on the metal strip of keys. She picked the piece again, pulling at the metal keys, hoping they weren't yet permanently attached. They slid out slowly but quietly. Setting the metal creation back on the table, she sat back, relaxing into the couch as she pulled her legs up to sit crisscross. She quietly plucked at the keys, learning the sounds, testing a few chords and melodies.

Ahsoka walked back through the other doorway, tray of glasses and a teapot in hand. Steam was still rising from the spout of the pot when she set it down. She looked up from the tray, smiling as she watched Shannon relaxed and messing with the scrap metal. She poured a cup of tea, taking it to the working Rattataki, looking over at the book and loose flimsy as she did.

"Already working on a new design?" There was something about the tone that sounded joking, like she was familiar with this situation. From the look of the room, Shannon could easily guess what she was joking about.

"Of course," the woman said with a smile, turning and graciously accepting the tea from the Padawan. She took a quick sip before setting it down next to the book. "The outfit itself won't be ready for a few days, possibly a few weeks, but I feel Shannon deserves something unique to her. In the meantime, she can take a few of my other more finished outfits."

Shannon looked up at her with wide eyes. With a shocked pause, she spoke, "Thank-thank you, for this. For all of this."

"Don't sound so miserable," she said, a comfortable tone in her scratchy voice. Even though her back was to her, Shannon could tell she was smiling. "There is a condition to all this, however. Something simple, nothing morally compromising, I assure you."

As she spoke, Ahsoka had walked back over to where she set the tray, sitting on the couch next to Shannon. Pouring two more cups of tea, she spoke up to question her, "What exactly are you wanting?"

"If she doesn't mind, I'd like for Shannon to come back every day she feels she can," Sayiri said nonchalantly as she continued to work. "I mostly just want her for the company, though I would also enjoy any help she could possibly provide. I won't mind if she can't make it due to some Jedi dragging her off somewhere, of course, I understand that she may have obligations to do what your council-whatsit would tell her to."

Passing Shannon a cup of tea, Ahsoka now directed a question at her. "Do you think you'll be able to find your way back here again by yourself?"

Setting the metal piece on her leg, she took the cup and stared into it, going through her memories of walking here. She slowly nodded, looking back at Ahsoka, "Yeah, I think i can do it."

Sayiri turned around, an ecstatic look on her on her face. She spoke as she clapped her hands together, pen still in hand, "Great! It will be good to have some company for a while. It's mostly quiet around here, so you don't have to worry about having to interact with customers. Haven't had many since the war started."

The statement itself was sad but the smile did not fade from her face. She took another sip from her tea before reaching to grab her cane, standing up shakily waving a hand at Shannon for her to follow. Shannon suddenly felt guilty for not drinking any of the tea that she didn't realize had been sat in front of her, resolving to later drink and finish it as she got up to follow Sayiri, still carrying the piece of metal as she walked.

Through the doorway was a very small kitchen and an even smaller table with two chairs at either side. A spiralling staircase sat in the corner of the kitchen. Sayiri slowly ascended it, using both her cane and the railing to pull herself up it. Worried as much as she would be for her own grandmother, who had trouble staying upright and keeping balanced, she followed close behind her, readying herself in case she needed help.

Eventually reaching the second floor, Shannon found that they were now in an apartment, where she assumed Sayiri stayed. It was a larger room, probably just as large as the lower floor would be if you knocked down all the walls. There was only one door in the room, probably leading to a bathroom. Only a thin curtain of beads, bells, and cloth obscured what Shannon assumed to be a bedroom, given the dresser and bed. Aside from the large, tinted window, the only two light sources were from a tall lamp and a small, bright light in the center of the ceiling.

A more numerous amount of dress mannequins sat around the room, most bare, some with finished outfits. A more organized setup of drawers sat around another desk with what looked to be a sewing machine, hanging over top and on each side. Sewing supplies and more bolts of cloth sat in the drawers, looking to be organized by color as well as type of cloth.

Sayiri moved across the room, opposite the sewing station to a set of dressers, 5 in total. She used her cane to tap on each one as she named them off, "Dresses; jackets, vests, and capes, if you're feeling dramatic; shirts, blouses, lots of durable and practical things in here; pants, skirts, shorts, any length you need; believe it or not, there's a bunch of shoes and boots in here, all ones that I've made; and, finally, undergarments, all clean and unworn. I'm assuming all you have is the clothes on your back seeing as you've come here."

Shannon nodded quietly as the older woman walked over to her, squeezing her shoulder and sliding it down, feeling at her bony arms.

"You're tiny so I'll probably need to take a few things in." She paused, rubbing her sharp chin with her thumb and forefinger. "I'm guessing you haven't been able to shower in a while. Go down and finish your tea, then come back up here for a shower. I'll wash your clothes and pick some new ones out." She started walking back to the dressers before quickly stopping and turning back to Shannon. "Do you have any preferences on what you wear? Colors, styles?"

Shannon just blinked and gaped for a minute as she processed what she was asked, mostly in wonder at how spry she was for being crippled. "Um, I… like blues and cool colors. And black. And I prefer long pants and just don't really like showing my legs. I also like wearing jackets."

The old woman nodded before waving her hand at Shannon, dismissing her. She opened a drawer, pulling a few things out as Shannon walked away and back down the stairs.

Shannon was quick to make it back down to the room where Ahsoka was left. Her eyes were closed, leaning her head back as she sat relaxing on the couch. Though Shannon was as quiet as she could get on her arrival, Ahsoka still opened her eyes as she entered the room. A smile appeared on her face as Shannon walked to sit at her previous place.

"I'm sure you're excited to get some new clothes," Ahsoka commented, stretching her arms over her head as she spoke. "Just as excited as I am to be able to relax for a while. As exciting as it is to go into battle, it starts to wear you out."

"I'm just hoping they don't throw me into battle," Shannon said, laughing nervously as she picked up her cup to take a sip of tea. It smelled flowery and sweet, like roses and strawberries. Much like any other tea, though, it barely had flavor. "I only know a little self-defense, none which would help me on the battlefield."

There was a pause in conversation, both of them enjoying the warmth of their tea.

As Shannon got up, Ahsoka spoke up, "I've been wondering about something for a while now. Since I first met you on Neonus. Kix said you reacted negatively when he told you the Jedi had been called. If you're from a different universe, as you say you are, how did you know about the Jedi Order?"

Shannon paused in her step, panic and anxiety rising at each passing second. She could feel her shoulders begin to shake, even as she tried to take breaths to calm herself. She carefully turned back to face Ahsoka, though not looking directly at her. "Can… can I ex-explain late-er-er? At th-the Temple?"

Ahsoka looked at the nervous woman quietly, before sighing and nodding. "Yeah, I can wait. I just hope you're not using this as an opportunity to come up with a lie."

Shannon shook her head, "I won't lie. This… this is too compl-plicated t-to lie about. I only l-lie about un-unimportant things."

Ahsoka looked again at her as she walked walk through the doorway, disappearing into the next room and up the stairs. There was a sudden sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. She sensed that what Shannon had to say was not going to be something very pleasant.

When she made it back up the stairs, Sayiri was still picking out clothes even as she already had a few outfits set out. She didn't seem to notice Shannon's arrival, humming a quiet tune to herself, sometimes singing it quietly in a foreign language.

Shannon walked into the bathroom- _refresher_ , she mentally reminded herself- getting ready for the much needed shower. She left her clothes piled at the door, assuming that Sayiri would come and get them eventually. She looked through the cabinets, quickly finding a towel that she would later need.

She took her time with the shower, relaxing and singing under the hot water that poured over her. She looked over the few bottles, having to guess at what each one was since she couldn't read what was on them. Despite taking her time, her shower was fairly quick. Stepping out she felt refreshed and clean, though her skin was now red from the hot water.

As she rinsed off the water, she noticed that her clothes were gone, taken by Sayiri. Laying on the countertop was a set of underwear with a matching bra. Shannon let out a stained, awkward sigh as she picked up the black pieces of cloth. After slipping them on, relieved and happy that they fit comfortable, she wrapped the towel around her waist and stepped out of the refresher.

The first thing to greet her was the rush of cool air that sent shivers down her back. The second was Sayiri, who was quick to approach her despite her dependency on the cane. She held a few articles of clothing in her arm, sticking them out for Shannon to grab when she was close enough.

"I hope you find these to be decent enough," she said, patting them once Shannon had them in her grasp. "I put a few other outfits in a bag. Ahsoka has it right now. You'll have to do with one pair of boots, I'm afraid. Don't have quite as many as I thought I did. Anyway, I'll leave you to get dressed."

Shannon watch, clothes in hand, as the fast talking woman made her way down the stairs, significantly slower than when she hobbled around up there. Shannon waited until she disappeared to the floor below before getting dressed.

The outfit in its entirety was a long-sleeved, dark teal shirt, a black vest whose collar laid against her neck comfortably, black pants that tucked into her brown, leather boots that stopped just under her knees, and leather wrist guards that stretched over her palms, looping over her thumbs and crossing the back of her hands. She decided to tuck her sleeves into the guards, keeping with the theme of not having open ends. Before heading back down, she went back into the refresher, looking into the mirror. She turned her head side to side, examining her face; the blue in her hair had faded into a pale green that she didn't find quite as appealing at it once was; the dark brown curls that hung from the top of her head almost touched her chin now, and the sides of her head definitely needed to be shaved shorter for they were starting to curl with their length; she ran her fingers over her small moles, which she once forced herself to believe to be freckles, as well as the light acne that would acne that would always speckle her face. She shook her fingers through her hair, getting it to poof up and not lie flat, before finally exiting the refresher and heading back downstairs.

She heard a quiet conversation going on as she made her way down, one that stopped as she walked through the door. She received smiles from the pair as her eyes shifted between them. The black bag at Ahsoka's feet caught her attention, slowly realizing this was her new bag of clothes.

Before Shannon could reach down to grab the bag, Ahsoka stood up. "We should be heading back to the Temple. It was nice being able to see you again, Sayi."

"It was good to see you too, Ahsoka," she said as she stood up, stepping over to Ahsoka to wrap an arm around her in a hug. She let a hand continue to rest on the Padawan's shoulder as she pulled away. "I'm glad you introduced Shannon to me, I'm sure she'll be great company."

Shannon looked shyly at the ground, her lips turning into a thin line as she started messing with her fingers, unsure of what to do.

Sayiri and Ahsoka chuckled at her behaviour, each bidding each other one final farewell before Ahsoka picked up the bag, handing it to Shannon to carry. Sayiri followed them slowly as they made their way through the beaded curtain and into the shop. Ahsoka was the first out the door, Shannon close to follow before she was stopped by Sayiri.

Taking Shannon's hand, she opened it, pressing the metal strip of keys into her palm. "Take this. Come back with a tune if you can figure one out. It'd be nice to finish it."

As the old woman limped away, Shannon turned the piece of metal over in her hand, studying it as she finally walked out of the shop. As she came to the waiting Padawan, she slipped it into her front pocket. Adjusting the bag's strap to sit more comfortably on her shoulder, Shannon followed Ahsoka back through the crowds, to the Jedi Temple.


	10. Admittance of Knowledge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The only chapter I've actually gone back to edit for grammar and missing words.  
> I also got help from OldWorldVulture on ff.net to help me fix some story problems and they were a big help =w=

The walk back to the Temple was quiet, save for their footfalls and the din of the thinning crowd, a relaxed but heavy tension sitting between them. Shannon barely picked up on it, barely remembering their conversation from before. She focused elsewhere, on watching others pass her by, on the many different aliens, most of which she didn't know the name of.

The trip back to the Temple wasn't long, especially as lost in her daze as she was. It was a bit harder to focus on anything other than the silence between them, but that didn't stop her as her eyes flicked around, scrutinizing the architecture. She barely registered their arrival as her new room.

When the door slid shut behind them, Ahsoka sat in the single chair that was in the room. Her body language was open, which Shannon hoped meant she would hear her out.

Shannon plopped down on her futon, stretching her legs out as she pulled out the metal comb to fiddle with it. She only ran her fingers over it as she tried to think of how to start the explanation.

"Are you _really_ from another universe?"

Shannon blinked at the sudden question. She hadn't heard this asked quite so bluntly or indignantly before. Shannon felt a smile pulling at her lips, a nervous chuckle making her shoulders bounce lightly, despite the serious setting. She kept her mind here, concentrating on the cold metal as it warmed in her hands.

Slowly, she finally nodded, "Yeah, I am."

"Then how did you know about the Jedi? Were you held somewhere else before we found you?" Ahsoka's expression was somber, her brow somewhat furrowed, probably from frustration. Shannon guessed she was upset that she didn't fill her in earlier. It was understandable.

Shannon shook her head, smile slowly fading away. "No. Before waking up in that room, the last thing I remember was being in my room. At home. On Earth." She was glad Ahsoka was leading with the questions; made it easier to explain things, so long as the questions went the right way.

An extended silence made Shannon looked up from her feet, glancing at Ahsoka. Eye contact was made in an instant, but Shannon didn't look away, not immediately. She held the gaze for a few seconds before staring back at her feet and thinking on how to continue.

"It's… weird to say," she started, again, her words slow but deliberate, "weird to explain. In my universe- to me- everything here is, uhm, fiction. It's a long and elaborate story with many parts and branches.

"When I first got here, and I had time to process and recognize things, I remembered Kix. From that point, I guessed where I was. Not the planet, just that I was at a Republic base," her words trailed off into silence. She tried to think of things to add, but the thoughts proved fruitless.

"Assuming this is all true," Ahsoka started, her voice just above a whisper, "why were you _afraid_ of the Jedi?"

The question was left unanswered for a few moments, Shannon pressing the teeth of the metal instrument into her fingers. "I'm guessing you won't believe that it was my paranoia of you throwing me into battle," she said, throwing a side look at her friend, who answered with a continued silence. Shannon releases a shaky sigh, "It should be an easy thing to guess. I know things that have happened, some that will happen. I don't want to interrupt the flow of things."

Ahsoka put a curled finger to her chin, a pair of words pushing to the forefront of her mind. "Chaos theory." The statement sounded unsure, thoughts grasping onto a memory of something briefly discussed.

A small smile appeared on Shannon's face. "I'm happy you remember. Don't think I'd be able to explain it the same way twice."

"So, you think that changing things now would have terrible effects on the future." The words were slow but they came together.

She nodded. "And if I change one thing, there's no guarantee that the next event I remember will be the same. Everything could become unpredictable."

A long silence fell upon them, one that Shannon didn't feel comfortable disturbing. Not that she felt comfortable under the quiet, itself, either. It wasn't until Ahsoka moved that the silence was broken, Shannon's eyes moving to her.

Ahsoka had stood from her seat, taking a few steps away from it, her back to Shannon. "This is a difficult thing to believe, but I sense the truth in you, in what you say," she admitted, turning slowly back to face her. Both her tone and the mixed expression on her face showed that she was still in disbelief.

Shannon's gaze moved back down to her feet as she blindly fiddled with the piece of metal in her hands. "I'd honestly just prefer it you'd think I was just delusional. I'd prefer it I _was_ delusional. Or if I was in a coma. No idea what comas are like, though, so I can't exactly say that I'm _not_ experiencing one."

The Padawan still wore a serious expression, something mixed between concern and thoughtful. She sighed, letting her face relax as she rubbed her forehead with her hand, "I almost wish I didn't ask. I don't know whether to report this to the Council or just…" She trailed off.

Her gaze snapped back to Ahsoka, panic spiking in her mind. "Please, _please_ , don't. I-I can't- I don't want to be apart of any of this."

Ahsoka looked sadly at her friend, an urgent yet pitying look on her face. "You're already involved. You being _here_ makes you apart of this. If you don't try to change _anything_ , you're willingly letting people die." She voice fluctuated in volume, trying not to yell, to draw attention from the outside.

Shannon's fingers began curling, unnoticing of the metal falling out of her hand. "You don't _understand_! Why don't you understand?! If I do something, I won't _KNOW_ what happens _NEXT_! Don't you think this _hurts me_? The fact that the characters that I love and feel for are now _people_? It killed me- _still_ kills me- watching or learning that _everyone_ I felt connected to _die_.

"And, now, I have a chance to change it! But I _can't_ because time is not something that is forgiving. It'll always try to rectify the change, possibly making it even worse, until is gets to the point that it's a _huge. Fucking. Catastrophe_." Every word was said with emphasis, controlled anger and pain making it rasp out of her throat rather than yell. By the end of it, her throat felt raw and dry.

Her legs shook beneath her, though she didn't remember standing or moving closer to Ahsoka. Tears stung her eyes, though they did not fall. The more she became conscious of her body and posture, the more she shook. Her arms slowly folded in as she held herself, her knees buckling beneath her as she curled in on herself, head pressing to the floor.

Quiet, whimpered expletives escaped her as she tried her hardest not to scream out her pain. The realization that this was all real, that _real_ people were going to die- were _dying_ \- due to her inaction, slowly began to really, truly dawned on her. Unrelenting pain coursed through her mind, dulling the physical pain she felt and was causing herself at that moment.

Ahsoka stood there in shock, looking down at her sobbing friend. She wanted to reach out to her, to try and calm her, but something told her this wasn't the best way. Unsure of what else to do, she slowly sat down next to her, staring helplessly at her.

Half an hour passed before she finally calmed down. Her curled form slumped to the side, letting her limbs relax and stretch out from their painful position. Shannon's face was fading from the red it had been when she was sobbing uncontrollably. Her face now shined with sweat, snot, and tears, which she roughly wiped away onto the sleeve of her shirt. She didn't react to feeling of Ahsoka's hands on her shoulders, guiding her to sit up and move to her bed.

Pulling a blanket over her friend, Ahsoka asked the question people always ask after these incidents, "Are you feeling better?"

"No," Shannon said, staring straight ahead at nothing, not moving. "I want to die. It would've been better to kill me or leave me out there."

Ahsoka looked taken aback by the statement, hesitating before speaking, "Please, don't say things like that."

"Sorry."

She sighed, looking off from Shannon, a quiet, thoughtful look on her face. Her mind was crowded with conflicting thoughts, thoughts made more frenzied in the presence of Shannon. So she stood from where she was, taking slow steps to the door.

"I'm need to go and… sort my thoughts," she said dejectedly, her back to Shannon.

Ahsoka's departure did not go unnoticed, more so Shannon just couldn't bring herself to react. The meltdown left her tired and dissociating. She continued to lay there, not moving. _Like a corpse_ , she thought to herself. Everything was numb and blank, much like how she would prefer living to be on any given day.

The extended silence and lack of movement eventually led to her falling asleep, recharging the overspent energy.


	11. Nothing is without Consequence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Due to many things happening, ie my grandpa being sent to the hospital for heart related stuff and my lack of concentration, I might have to put this on hiatus for a little bit  
> This all depends on where I'm sent to tho and if my phone is charged enough to edit and write on the go (it usually isn't)

Days went by since Ahsoka learned what Shannon had been keeping quiet. There was a buffer period where they didn't see each other, much less speak. It wasn't until Ahsoka was leaving Coruscant with Anakin that she finally approached Shannon again.

As Ahsoka took the sight of her friend in, she sighed. "Shannon, we need to talk."

That phrase had a special way of filling someone with dread and Shannon was no special case. She simply nodded, inviting Ahsoka into her quarters, each taking the seats they had taken a week before. The familiarity of this situation weighed on her mind, the anxiety gnawing at her as she sat silently waiting for Ahsoka to speak.

She seemed to fidget in her seat before laying her head in her hands as her sharp elbows sat on her knees. She sighed again as she looked back up. "I'm still... conflicted about what you said. Part of me doesn't believe you- or doesn't _want_ to believe you- and the other is saying you're telling the truth and to tell the Council."

"But?" Shannon inquired, a small glint of hope shining in her eyes.

Ahsoka shook her head, standing from her seat as she started to pace. "There is no 'but'. Regardless of how you or I feel about this, I have a duty as a Jedi to report something _this_ important to the Council."

Shannon's gaze shifted downward as the dread returned, making everything feel heavy and tired. Her mind began to drift away, even as she listened to the rest of what Ahsoka had to say.

"I won't be able to have an actual meeting with them now, but I have told Master Yoda that I would need to speak to the Council as soon as I'm back." She looked at Shannon as she spoke, measuring the tired expression on her face. "At least, this way you'll have time to prepare yourself."

Shannon said nothing, only responding with a quiet hum. The lack of response drew a frustrated sigh from Ahsoka, shaking her head as she turned to leave. They offered no 'farewell's to each as the Togruta walked out the door.

When the door panel closed, Shannon flopped back on the bed, drained of all the energy she was going to use to visit the kind, old Rattataki woman. But still she stood from where she laid, still feeling a obligation to go. She would be an hour or so late but at least she got herself to move again, which is a feat in itself.

She felt lucky. Lucky that Sayiri was a very patient woman, who never seemed to get angry or annoyed with Shannon's mistakes or her slow, careful pace. Rather, she was helpful and encouraging, more often than not joking around. The old woman possessed more stamina than Shannon thought, as she watched her hobble around the shop or market with a good, steady pace. It made her smile to see that Sayiri was incredibly healthy and spry for her age.

As she walked, she thought of the past week of her being on Coruscant; of her visiting and helping Sayiri. The Rattataki woman was very spry for her age, possessing stamina that she herself could only manage in short bursts. Sayiri was a very empathetic woman, similar to how Shannon was, able to pick up on others emotions without much trouble. So Shannon was sure it was only a matter of time before she would be questioned about her behavior.

She stepped through the door of the shop, walking quietly past the few customers that were either browsing or chatting up Sayiri. Her sudden, passing presence hushed the quiet chatter of the store.

"Oh, hello, my dear," greeted Sayiri in a chipper voice. "I was beginning to think you weren't going to come in today."

Shannon was barely conscious of the greeting offered to her. As a result, all she could say in return was a quiet, "Sorry."

While the other few customers pretended to mind their business, the couple chatting with Sayiri watched as the quiet woman disappeared behind the bead curtain and into the back room. It was only until the soft bells on the curtain stopped chiming that they began to speak in hushed voices.

"Since when did you get another vagrant to dote on?" asked the harsher of the couple looking on her with intrigued stares.

While the question stung and made her anger flare, but she quelled it, knowing that this woman meant no harm in her question. "She isn't a vagrant. She's just a... victim of unusual circumstances. She has been helping me around the shop, even with finishing a few projects."

"You? Finishing a project? Why, I think I've seen it all," joked the other woman.

The conversation didn't linger much longer on the subject of the new helping hand, instead turning to the daily gossip. As any good salesperson, Sayiri slipped in subtle hints for them to buy something.

After what few customers she had left the shop, she slipped into the back to check on her friend. She found Shannon sitting silently on the couch, head tilted back so she stared at the ceiling. Sayiri looked at her for a few moments, before quietly walking to sit next to her. The sudden weight shift in the couch made Shannon start in reaction, before seeing the old woman and relaxing back into the couch again.

"Would you like to talk about it?" Sayiri asked in a soothing, quiet voice.

Shannon was quiet, letting the question sit as the words formed slowly, "Not right now. Maybe... maybe later."

The old woman smiled a grandmotherly smile, gently laying a soft, reassuring hand on Shannon's shoulder. "Take your time. There's no need to rush for these things. Now that you're here, though, let me make some lunch for us."

Shannon didn't have the energy to try and protest, nor did she feel capable of offering her help. Instead, she continued to stare at the ceiling, only able to manage making her mind go blank. Staying inside her head, she didn't hear Sayiri shuffling through her cabinets as she looked for ingredients to make their lunch. She didn't hear the sigh that came from the old woman. It was only when Shannon felt a tap against her leg, that she was brought out of her head to see Sayiri standing there, purse dangling from her arm as she leaned on her cane.

"Come, I need to do some grocery shopping," Sayiri beckoned with her hand as she began walking to and through the bead curtain.

Shannon relaxed herself, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, before she stood. For the time being, Sayiri was keeping a manageable pace; one that Shannon could easily match in her seemingly slow-reacting state. The further she moved from where she had sat, the more her mind drifted from her problems to focus more on following the Rattataki woman through the crowds. From there, her eyes took in the crowd and it's somewhat thinning numbers.

It was interesting to see how the crowd of people changed when they entered a flea market type area. The central path was still generously filled, but there was a good number of people who browsed the wares of various stalls. The tick of paranoia told her that this would be a decent area for pickpocketing. Good thing she had nothing of value on her for her to worry about being taken. As they continued to walk through the stream of people, she noticed that more paths filled with more stalls branched from the main walkway. If she didn't stick with Sayiri, she was sure she would get lost. And that situation would not be pleasant for anyone.

The pair walked together, stopping at various stalls; usually ones with food, other times filled with interesting trinkets that caught Sayiri's magpie sight. Shannon found herself listening to some of the negotiations, usually only understanding half of the conversation due to an alien speaking their native language. The only thing she could think of after each encounter was how she really hoped to never be stuck talking with someone she didn't understand, especially when she still needed to learn to understand their alphabet.

Shannon was slow to realize that the pair's surroundings had changed to that of a more regular market area. Or at least closer to that of an outlet mall. She really had no idea where they were now. Without really realizing, she stuck closer to Sayiri in the hope to not be separated, even with the thinned out crowd.

For a while, they bounced between a few shops. Shannon's patience for shopping was starting to thin, so much so that she could feel her expression change to natural annoyance. That is, until something piqued her interest.

Her pace slowed, enough to draw the notice of her guide, as her attention turned toward what looked to be a music store. That's what she could guess, seeing as there were a few instruments propped up close enough to see them through the open doors. The curiosity of this universe's instruments intrigued her, especially since she was vaguely certain there were a few similar to ones she could play.

Much to Shannon's delayed shock, Sayiri wordless walked into the store ahead of her. The shock was short lived, Shannon shaking her head and following the confident woman inside.

Upon entering, the noise from outside seemed to immediately disappear, replaced by the easy, calm quiet of the shop. It was smaller than she felt it should be, most of which was displayed seemed to be just for that. In the middle of the store was 3 rows of shelves, creating 4 lanes to walk through, holding what seem to be music books of different varieties and replaceable parts for instruments. Apart from some stranger, more alien instruments, it looked like every other music store she had been in.

Knowing she wouldn't be able to understand what each book was, she bypassed them, heading straight to the back where she saw a few stringed instruments. Browsing through them, she noticed she could name quite a number of them, though they might have a different name here. The ones that drew her attention the most were the mandolin and violin, only one of which she was proficient in. She stood in front of them, looking at their respective designs, wanting to pick them up but not wanting to disturb them or the silence.

"Kassura!" came a sudden voice, it's chime shattering the silences. "Ril'ek sharr. Qaon chariss ikta'sa?"

Shannon turned to see a twi'lek now standing by them. Their skin was a common blue hue, indigo colored spots speckling their face and lekku. Though dark in color, their eyes shined bright, reflecting the soft lights more intensely than the glossiest surface. Overall, the twi'lek had an androgynous appearance, only enhanced by their loose fitting clothes which hid their figure.

Shannon found herself staring at the new person in dumbfoundment, not really knowing how to respond especially since she couldn't understand them.

After a few more seconds of anxious silence, the twi'lek spoke up again, "Ah, um, how can I help you? If I-I can help you." The words themself were unsure, as if unused to speaking basic.

Now understanding why the alien had approached the pair, she tried to respond only to be interrupted by Sayiri.

"My friend was wondering if she could try out this viol." There was a smile on her face even as Shannon stared at in her in silent horror.

Before Shannon could voice her objection, the twi'lek nodded and brought down the viol for her. She took and held it awkwardly, looking between the two who just seemed to smile.

Unknowing of what else to do, she shifted it slowly around, holding it like a guitar. She plucked at it quietly and hesitantly as she remembered finger placements. Soon, she was plucking a tune that she remembered, though could only play part of it.

"So, are you planning to buy?" the blue twi'lek asked suddenly, making Shannon stiffen her hands, quickly halting the plucking.

"Yes, I think we will," Sayiri said before the wide-eyed woman could object.

The twi'lek woman excused herself, going to a back room to get a viol that wasn't for display purposes. Waiting for her to disappear behind a door, Shannon quietly placed the viol back where it was, muscles tense as she looked to the tall Rattataki.

"A-a-aren't instr-str-instruments expen-spensive?" She may not have known their alphabet, but she could understand their numbers and there were too many on the display next to the viol.

"If I say no, will you not worry and accept it?" There was a calm smirk on her face as she looked down at her friend.

Shannon let out a strained breath that could almost be called a hiss, bunching her hands together, stretching the skin. "I'm-I'm not comfort-table with th-this. Y-you're doing too much for me."

The smirked faded to a curious look, her head tilting to the side. After a few moments, the look changed to something that could be described as motherly with a voice to match, "You shouldn't worry. I've enjoyed your company the past few days and I thought it would be nice to bring a little light into your day. But, if you prefer, you can think of this as incentive to continue visiting."

The tone caught her off guard, calming her reluctance and anxiety at receiving the expensive gift. With a deep breath, she relaxed herself, trying not to feel guilty.

When the twi'lek woman came back, she now had a case with her. With it, she gestured for the pair to follow her to the counter where they would be checked out. As the transaction was being made, Shannon reached out for the case, opening it to look at her new instrument. Regardless of what it was made of, it looked like dark, varnished wood. It could very well be wood, but she didn't feel curious enough to ask.

The two walked out of the shop and into the street. From there, Sayiri guided them through the maze that was the market area to other shops for more groceries. An hour passing, they held three bags altogether, all of which Shannon insisted on carrying. By the time they reached Sayiri's home, Shannon's finger felt like they were purple from the weight of the groceries hanging from her fingers. She was happy the viol case came with a strap so you could wear it like a pack.

As soon as the door opened, she rushed past the slow, older woman to put the groceries down in the kitchen. With them, she plopped to the ground, breathing out a heavy sigh. She continued to sit there until Sayiri finally made it to the kitchen. From there, Shannon stood, pulling the bags up with her to put them on the counter so they were within reach for the Rattataki.

Together, they put the groceries in their place, keeping few things out so Sayiri could make a late lunch. It was quiet between them; a calm, comfortable silence that Shannon grew use to when with this motherly figure.

Her mind began to drift as she remembered her own mother. She remembered how her mom ran off around the time she was three years old, the reason which was later revealed to be her mother's immaturity and fear of raising a child. She remembered somehow recalling the abandonment at around six, when her mom came back, how she tried to reconnect with her daughters. She remembered refusing to say goodbye, her younger self hoping that meant she would stay. In the end, she would only wind up crying and screaming at the window as her mom drove away.

A warm drop fell on her hand, snapping her out of her trance. The feeling of heaviness grew in her eyes as she slowly realized she was crying. In that moment, her legs buckled and she fell to the floor, sobbing loudly.

Sayiri was quick to act, kneeling as quickly as she could manage next to her. Shannon know Sayiri was speaking, she just could hear it over the painful weeping.

She felt a hand on her viol case and another on her shoulder. The touch brought her back to reality enough to hear a question: "Why are you crying?"

"I'm never going to see my mom again. Or my dad, my sister, my family, my _friends_." That is what she wanted to say- what she tried to say. Instead, it came out in uneven intervals with choking pauses.

If Sayiri said anything else, Shannon couldn't hear it, losing herself to her hysteria. Still, the older woman sat with her crying friend, eventually easing the viol case off her back before guiding the stumbling woman to the couch in the next room. From there, they sat together, Shannon resting her head against the alien's collarbone while Sayiri held her. She let her cry, rubbing soothing circles into her back until the sobs came slowly to a stop.

They sat there for a few minutes longer before Sayiri slowly moved Shannon off of her, laying her down on the couch. "I am going to make some tea and lunch. I will be back, my dear," she said quietly, again in a motherly tone.

Shannon stared off at the wall across from her. Her eyelids felt heavy, so she let them drift down to a near close. Her mind focused on the sounds that came from the kitchen. It was mostly the shuffling of feet and probably foodstuffs. She couldn't tell how much time had passed from when Sayiri went into the kitchen and came back. It felt instantaneous and infinite, at the same time.

She sits up as Sayiri walked back into the craft room, giving her room to sit down. She carried a tray with her, letting her cane hang from her arm as she limped to the couch and ottoman. Setting the tray down- as well as sitting herself down- she poured two small cups of tea, adding something that seemed similar to honey. She held the cup, handed to her by Sayiri, quietly soaking up the heat even as it felt like it was burning.

A quiet voice broke through the voice, the question pervading the air. "Why were you crying?"

She sat in silence, slowly bringing her mind back into focus. "My family. And friends. I'm never… never going to see them again."

It took a moment for a response to come, "I'm sorry. I know how you feel. About not being able to see your family."

She felt a snarky comment fly through her head, but she shut it down, knowing that she was only trying to show sympathy. Empathy. Her own numb empathy poked at her, making her look to the other woman as she made the connection that Sayiri _understood_.

She took the moments of the silent stare as a queue to continue. "I had three children, three daughters and a son; two grandchildren, both grew into beautiful women; only one great-grandchild, though. Along with my wife, they all made my life wonderful, no matter the hardship. I wouldn't trade it for anything in the universe."

Shannon hesitated with a question, "What… what happened to them, if you don't mind me asking?"

The question received a small, melancholy smile as Sayiri continued to stare forward. She took a sip of her tea before continuing. "It didn't happen all at once, luckily. My wife, Menya, was the first to go. She has always had bad health, not due to her practices but her genetics. The few years before she passed, she had a stroke or two every few months. When we went to go figure out what was wrong, we found out that she had cancer spreading through her body. The doctors even admitted that they were surprised had survived that long. They provided plans to help her live for the next few years, but she knew she'd be miserable so she refused everything." She let out a chuckle as she continued. "She was always incredibly stubborn.

"Eventually, she managed to convince me to use a good portion of our savings to hop around the galaxy for her remaining time here. She's always wanted to see the more pretty places our universe has to offer. As the cancer got progressively worse, though, we had to head back home. She could barely get around in a wheelchair at that point, so she had to have someone with her at all times- which she didn't really like. We took everything in stride until the day finally came. On that day, all of us gathered in the room around her, saying our goodbyes. I stayed with her, trying to help her through the pain until she fell asleep. Not long after that, she just… stopped moving."

Sayiri paused in her story, a tear rolling down her face. She coughed suddenly, wiping it from her face and regaining her composure. "Anyway, from there, it was my first daughter, Saia, to go. She died from a mistreated infection and illness from a broken leg. She fell from a cliff while on a dig. She was a lot like her mother in the explorer sense.

"Next was my great-grandson, Makal, and my granddaughter, Shyera. They died in a speeder accident. From what I remember, it was quick. I didn't ask for details on the matter, though, as you can imagine.

"My son, Neshma, was a very sensitive soul. You remind me of him in a lot of way, to be honest. Each death hit him hard. And even though his sister, daughter, and I said we were there for him, he just… couldn't take it.

Sayiri let out a sigh, reaching out for her cup.

In the moments of silence, Shannon thought of speaking up but it remained only that; a thought. She felt something tell her that her friend needed to speak out loud about this, so she let her continue uninterrupted.

"Bakla wound up adopting Ana and they lived a decent life for a while. They died the same way Shyera and Makal did."

Sayiri's gaze drifted as did her attention, instead focusing on an invisible point. She held the wam cup in her hands, taking another sip before speaking again. "I'm sorry for rambling on, dear. I know we should've been focusing more on you," she said with a sad smile. "But thank you for listening to me. This old woman never gets to talk much to anyone."

Shannon returned the smile, though it wasn't seen. "It's always better when someone knows your pain. Though, I guess that's just my opinion."

She trailed off for a second, thinking before speaking up again. "Can I hear more about your family?"

Sayiri turned to her, the smile on her face growing sweeter. "Only if I can hear some about your's, too. At this point, they're still a mystery to me."

Shannon chuckled quietly. "I guess I'll go first then. Let's see..."

That day they just sat there, swapping tales, laughing, and getting nothing done. There were a few interruptions where customers would walk in, either placing orders, picking things up, or purchasing what was on display. Aside from the crying and the overhanging dread of the meeting that was to come, it was a good day. A good day that ended with her carrying her new instrument back to the temple, happy to have something new to occupy herself with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks you OldWorldVulture on ff.net being my beta reader, I have evaded an easy cop out that I would have taken had they not pointed out to me that I was really pushing Ahsoka's character in the wrong sort of sense (which i sorta felt as well while i was writing but I also just didn't want to have the future confrontation of shannon getting involved in battles. then again the story would have gone no where otherwise)  
> Comments would be nice, mostly because I'm always looking for more tips on my writing and stuff


	12. Days of Stress

As weeks passed, she slowly began to forget what Ahsoka had told her that day. She had forgotten that she would soon be pulled further into a conflict that was manipulated almost entirely by one single man. A man that would either kill her or use her by inflicting pain upon her.

Instead her mind focused elsewhere; on the creation of a deep bond with Sayiri. Even when considering the amount of time she spent over there, she had grown incredibly close to this alien woman. She began to see Sayiri as a maternal figure, as well as a good friend.

She was forced to stray from the pattern every so often, being brought into a group of younglings, learning the ways of the Force with them. It took a few lessons, but her embarrassment of being surrounded by children faded, allowing her to focus more on gaining any sort of control.

When focused, she found that the Force moved through her in a similar, disconcerting way that anxiety would course through her. Even as she felt the similarity, something calmed her and made her hold focus. She found, even when practicing by herself, that she could maintain her focus and make things move and keep them moving even as her focus faded to giddiness at succeeding. From there it was just continued practice to refine it, like how she began to bring her viol playing back up to how did back in school.

Her life felt calm and smooth again, similar to how it was before her sudden appearance. She did her best to focus on the present, where the day-to-day tasks kept her happy and content. Still, the paranoia stung in the back of her mind, telling her that something bad would occur to balance out the good. It always did.

Just as she had been doing everyday, she walked out of her room headed for Sayiri's shop, viol strapped to her back. That is, before she was stopped by a youngling that looked to be around ten.

"You're Shannon, right?" asked the kid, receiving his confirmation. "Master Yoda sent me to get you. He wants you to meet him in his quarters."

Shannon hesitated a bit, made nervous by this particular break from pattern. She found herself hesitating and stuttering as she stopped the youngling as he began walking away. "Ah-uhm, w-wait! Can-can you sh-show me where his, ah, r-room is? St-still don't know my w-way arou-around."

It was a simple enough request. The boy nodded and continued on his walk, expecting her to follow. It was a short walk, one Shannon found herself memorizing just in case she needed to come back here again. Before she could offer her thanks, the youngling was already heading off elsewhere, leaving her alone in front of the door. A door that suddenly seemed intimidating even as she raised a shaking hand to rap on it.

A voice came from the other side, telling her to enter. Opening the door, she had to let her eyes adjust to the odd lighting of the room. She found it a bit amusing that it was just as overly dramatic and unnecessary as she remembered.

"Come, have a seat," came Yoda's voice, snapping her from her thoughts.

She hesitated for a moment as his words processed before taking a seat that was across from the old, wrinkled Jedi. She pulled the viol case from her back and let it rest between her legs.

"Settled in well, have you?" he asked, giving her a calm smile.

Shannon shrugged, her eyes drifting to look past him before turning to look at the windows. "I guess. I'm just used to it now."

A weird giggle came from the small, green man- one that made her gaze move directly back to him. "Far you have come from the time when you stood in fear, in front of the Council."

She was quiet, more just thinking about correcting the technicalities in his words. In the end, she said nothing, just tried to keep a steady gaze on him.

"Came to me, Ahsoka did," he continued, "asking for another meeting."

Her eyes fell away from him, something she couldn't help. For one, she already knew this; for two, she was never able to maintain stable eye contact for too long.

"Know this already, you do?" he questioned, though she felt it was rhetorical. "Something concerning you, then, I'm guessing."

A small, quiet sigh escaped her as she shrugged. She could feel the question before he asked. The thought of answering drained her, making her eyes heavy and her body tired.

But the question never came. Silence sat in its place as Yoda studied to woman's body language and slow change in expression. He nodded, though she didn't seem to see, "Go you may. Learned I have of what I wanted. Do not wish to tire you more than I have."

Were she not so suddenly drained, she would have smiled at him appreciation. Instead, she simply nodded, slowly getting up to leave with her viol case in tow.

He watched, for a moment, as she left, her steps slow and heavy, though quiet. When he heard the door slide open and closed, he fell into thought. He could easily surmise that the coming meeting would involve the woman. As well, he could sense that there would be a revelation that may very well shift the balance of the War and the Force. The anticipation of what was to come prickled his skin, leaving behind a cold feeling.

* * *

Days passed and Shannon's thoughts consisted of almost nothing but the feeling of impending doom and agony that came with the coming meeting. She did her best to keep herself distracted, keeping herself as busy as she could- even when it completely overwhelmed her. Still, she would often drift into thought, becoming completely still and keeping her stare on a fixed point, even when occupying herself with a task. It eventually got to the point where Sayiri had to send Shannon to the back because she acted more like a road block than an assistant. It was on such a day that Sayiri finally found it necessary to sit her down and talk.

She walked out from the kitchen, tea tray in hand as she moved towards the dissociating woman. Unnoticed, she sat next to her and poured each of them a cup of tea. She sat next to her silently for a few minutes, watching the woman next to her.

The only way she could manage to describe the expression on Shannon face was 'blank'. There was no sense of peace to it, as she knew that her friend's mind was most likely in a chaotic fit. Another way Sayiri thought to describe it was the way you would describe a corpse; mouth slightly agape, still as stone, and wide that stared endlessly at nothing. The longer she studied her, the more Sayiri felt uneasy. Putting an end to the spell, she placed a gentle hand on Shannon's shoulder.

She reacted quickly, jumping and letting out a surprised scream. The surprise made her move to the furthest side of the couch, hyperventilating and gripping the clothes covering her chest. She stared wide-eyed at her friend for a few seconds, letting her panicked sight come back into focus. Slowly, she calmed herself, taking slow, deep breaths.

Sayiri could see the adrenaline of the fight-or-flight reflexes pumping through her, showing itself in twitches and fidgeting. Seeing this, she spoke softly to her, "Just breathe and talk to me. Please. What is bothering you?"

The question was not answered immediately, as most questions directed at Shannon often were. Instead, she focused on breathing as she slowly began to zone out, forgetting the question asked entirely. A calling voice brought back her attention, bring her back to reality as she tried to sputter an answer.

"I, uhm, it's hard to explain," she responded quietly, her voice sounding hoarse and dry. She coughed a few times, still struggling to find the words to put to her thoughts, "The Jedi, uh, I think they're about to-to bring me into the w-war."

Sayiri inhaled sharply, in what felt to be a gasp, though the look on her face wasn't surprise or shock. It was closer to an angry disbelief. Her mouth twitched in a way that looked like she was stuck between snarling and trying to form calmer words.

She spoke slowly and deliberately a single word, "Why?"

"I know some things. Stuff that will happen in the war," she answered, laying her head to the side on the back of the couch. Her eyes were half-closed, staring at nothing. She was too tired to keep her defenses up, too tired to dodge question she shouldn't answer.

But there were no oncoming questions from the Rattataki, just an unshifting silence.

Shannon could feel her exhaustion tugging on her, pulling her to unconsciousness, even in the pressing silence. She only jolted back into complete consciousness when she felt warm arms envelop her. The sudden gesture confused her, even as she moved her arms to return the embrace.

In the old woman's hold, Shannon's nose was pressing just at the crook of her chalky white neck. Before she could think of how safe and warm she felt in Sayiri's grasp, she noticed the shaking hold and warm droplets falling on her neck and head.

"I don't care what you might know," she said quietly, her voice sounding rough and hoarse, "they shouldn't need to bring someone in their damned war that doesn't belong there. I refuse to lose any more of my family."

As the grip around her tightened, she felt heavy tears fall from her eyes, quickly dropping onto Sayiri's neck and shoulder. It wasn't long before the initial tears turned into a flowing streams, her nose beginning to run with them. She couldn't figure out why she was crying. Was it because of her oversensitive empathy or because she was deeply touched by Sayiri's referring to her as family? She was too numb from everything to tell, but at this point she felt it didn't matter. She let herself continue to cry in Sayiri's arms, just as the old woman cried over her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> CLAPS HANDS TOGETHER AND SCREAMS  
> I HAVE NO MORE BUFFER CHAPTERS AAAAAAAAAAAAA  
> my brain and hands need to work faster on make story shit


	13. Fortune Teller

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for no chapter last week  
> there might not even be a chapter next week  
> depends on how quickly i write

It had been about two months since she had arrived to this whole new world. This was an observation that came to her suddenly while thinking about the illusion of time and other harmless, intrusive thoughts.

She had been lying in bed for a few hours, staring up at the ceiling. Minutes ticked by at an agonizingly slow pace, while waiting for her temporary insomnia to leave her so she could finally sleep. While she had dealt with mostly sleepless nights for a vast majority of her stay at the Temple, it never failed to annoy her. She began to miss the medications she took that somewhat helped her sleep.

At the remembrance of her lack in pharmaceuticals, she realized it had been two whole months since she last took her meds. She remembered what happened last time she went cold turkey off her meds, how the sudden stress of college made her fail and caused her to spiral back into suicidal depression. The coming meeting now felt all the more daunting.

Feeling suddenly sore from laying on the futon, she kicked herself up. As she stretched and paced, she muttered reassurances to herself.

The few days before, when she had her latest breakdown with Sayiri, she had come clean to her about everything; about where she came from; what all she knew, without any actual details on events; about how this universe was created in fiction. She wasn't sure if Sayiri believed her or not, but the grandmotherly woman humored her regardless.

"And you believe intervening would make things worse?"

"Yeah," she responded quietly. "The best-worst thing is that what happens next is unpredictable."

Sayiri took a moment to think before speaking. "You could try to convince them you should only offer your knowledge at points where you think necessary."

Shannon made a face, one that read of apprehension and doubt.

The look had made the woman sigh as she looked off with a tired expression. "It is only a suggestion. It's, at least, an option to offer to the Council."

Their conversation slowly died from that point, Shannon unwilling and unable to offer any more counterpoints. Sayiri had left her alone for a majority of that day, only to coming to offer lighter conversation around lunch. Shannon did her best to participate in it, but her mind kept wandering, thinking of what to do when the day of reckoning finally arrived. Her mind slowly began to focus on the advice offered by Sayiri.

Even now, as she paced slowly around her room, she thought of how she would say it. She knew she just had to be upfront about it. It was as simple as that, but the simplicity of it made her all the more terrified.

She sat down quickly on her bed, taking deep breaths. She emptied her mind, trying to fill it with white noise instead of racing thoughts. When thoughts tried to pop up, she drowned them out by plugging her ears with her fingers and listening to her own breathing. Focus on nothing. Clear your mind.

After a few minutes, her mind was finally quiet. She was happy for the tiredness that came from the effort. She was going to need as much sleep as she could get to deal with tomorrow.

* * *

A light touch brought her back to the unpleasantness of consciousness. After a few blinks to bring everything into focus, she found she was face to face with Ahsoka. With the sight came the reminder of what was to come on this day.

"For a deep sleeper, you're sure easy to wake up," Ahsoka joked, a light smile on her face.

Shannon could see the sadness behind the smile- or rather on her pinched-together eyebrows. At least, she felt a little bad about this, Shannon thought to herself as she closed her eyes again. She took a deep and released it before getting up.

Without any words, Ahsoka left to wait for her outside. With her departure, Shannon pulled herself from her sheets to stand and stretch. Blood rushed quickly to her head, blinding her for a few seconds as she let herself fall back onto her futon. The landing wasn't the most cushy but it still drew a quiet giggle from her. This was something she was use to, but on a day like today, it pulled her mind from the stress and into habit.

She stood again, stepping to the closet and pulling out the outfit that Sayiri made for her. There were a few layers to it, though it was fairly simple to put together; first, a sleeveless, black polo neck shirt; second was a pair of varying teal kimono-esque shirts that tied at the side, the underlayer sleeves fitting snugly compared to the looser sleeves that fell around it; a sash was to be tied around her middle, moreorless to complete the top half of it. The bottom half was simpler; just loose fitting pants and boots, both of which were the same black as the sash. Altogether, it was simple-looking and aesthetically pleasing to her, probably as Sayiri intended.

Walking out of her room, Ahsoka was easy to spot, being the only other person in the hallway and leaning against the wall next to the door.

"You ready?" Ahsoka asked reflexively as she pushed herself off the wall.

"As ready as I'll ever be," Shannon answered with a shrug and a small, weak smile. It only lasted long enough for Ahsoka to see it and look away.

The walk to Council's chambers was quiet and heavy. Neither of them knew exactly what to say to each other. Shannon was fine with it, figuring some resolution would come or that they would talk later. Still, she could feel that Ahsoka wanted to say something.

Before any will could be worked up to start speaking, Anakin was within sight and so, too, was their destination. The sight of him kickstarted Shannon's mind into a frenzy of thoughts, trying to sort through what she was going to, to admit. Rather than sort through the thoughts, she started screaming in her mind to drown out the craziness until it all died down again.

Sensing the sudden chaos in her friend's mind, Ahsoka stared suddenly at her, a brow raised in questioning.

"Come on, the Council's waiting," Anakin said before turning and walking through the doors.

Were the situation not-so-serious and quiet, Shannon would've let out a loud, exasperated groan. She didn't want to be here or do this. And she knew Ahsoka was in the same boat. She stood next to Shannon, waiting patiently and giving her an empathetic smile, which she halfheartedly returned. Taking that as a go-ahead, Ahsoka walked inside with Shannon following behind.

The first thing she took notice of was the number of bodies that filled the seats of the Council. Most of the seats were filled, if not with actual people then with holograms of the Council members. Including all that had attended her last hearing, she could only remember two others name's: Kit Fisto and Luminara Unduli.

Anakin stepped off to the side, nodding to his Padawan as the pair moved to face the Council. As they went, Shannon felt her legs trying to lock up to keep her from moving further forward. Still, she managed to force herself to stand with Ahsoka, sharing in the gazes of the Jedi Masters.

The first to speak was Mace, getting straight to the point of it all, "Why have you requested this meeting?"

Ahsoka glanced at Shannon before speaking, "There's not really an easy or simple way to explain this, but Shannon knows things- events- that pertain to the War. At least, that's what she's told me."

"So she did lie to us about where she came from," Anakin called out, a small flicker of anger in his voice.

Shannon felt a ball of anxiety begin to form and curl inside of her. She felt a pressure fall on her, like a cloak of chainmail.

"I didn't say-" Ahsoka stopped herself as she spun to face her Master. She took a moment regain her composure before speaking again. "I'm not sure, but every time I hear her explain where she's from, I can sense the truth in what she says."

"And what has she said to make you so sure of what she might know?" questioned Obi-Wan.

Without even a glance, Shannon knew the Jedi Master was looking at her, directing his question at her.

Ahsoka's mouth gaped as she tried to think of what to say in response. When words failed her, she looked slowly to the near-petrified woman next to her.

Feeling the stare of her friend, Shannon looked sidelong at her, otherwise staying still as a statue. She could feel the pressure increase around her. She knew Ahsoka wanted her to say something, to speak up, but she found herself unable to even think of any words. Still she could feel the stares of the Council bearing down on her, waiting for her to speak. Her mind was deafeningly quiet in its chaos, screaming at her to make at least some semblance of sound without a true thought moving through her brain. The screams were a constant blair, telling her to run, to get away, to disappear. That's all she wanted to do, that's-

A light touch on her shoulder brought her back out of her mind.

The sudden shock of it made her jump slightly, eyes frantically scanning the room and the people in it as she remembered where she was. Her eyes quickly settled on a worried looking Ahsoka whose hand was still on her shoulder.

Slowly, Shannon looked back at the Council, keeping her breathing slow and steady. The panic induced reboot kickstarted her brain into thinking of what to say.

After a few more seconds and Ahsoka's hand falling away, Shannon spoke slowly, "What… What's happened to Asajj Ventress?"

The sudden mention brought down a different quiet on the room. She could feel everyone's eyes on her, though this time the stares didn't feel as heavy. She heard shifting behind her, what she guessed to be Anakin hesitating at moving forward.

"She died at the Battle of Sollust," answered Obi-Wan. "At least, that's what we assume. Her fight was irreparably damaged and unlikely to survive the blast of her ship."

Before Shannon could ask another question, Anakin interjected, walking more into her line of sight, "Are you trying to tell us that Ventress is alive?"

Shannon felt her train of thought stop at the sudden question. "Uhm, c-can I an-answer that late-er?"

She watched as Anakin and his former Master exchange glances. Obi-Wan nodded as he leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and lacing his fingers together as the Jedi Knight reluctantly backed off.

Taking a few deep breaths, she continued, "D-does Dooku ha-have a new assassin, yet? Savage Opress?"

The Jedi Master nodded slowly. His hands gripped the other tighter as he kept himself from asking her how exactly she knew this.

"Then I'm going to go ahead and guess th-that you know he came from the planet Dathomir. You-" she stated, nodding at Obi-Wan, "-and Anakin went there to talk to the village where he came from. The leader of those Zabrak pointed you in the direction of the Nightsisters, who claimed innocence when it came to Savage's rampage.

"If it hasn't happened yet, you two confront Savage on Toydaria when he's trying to kidnap the King. When you two intervene, the King almost gets away but Savage snaps his neck before he can."

The pervading silence drew her eyes up to look at the faces around her. A majority of the Council did well to mask their emotions with impassive expression, though she could feel their suspicious stares that matched their fellow Jedi's wary looks. Even by just looking at Ahsoka she could feel the doubt, suspicion, and disbelief radiating off of her.

"What happens next?" Anakin asked, his words slow and heavy.

She looked at him, hesitating at the sight of his glare.

"Next?" It took a moment, as she tried to recall what more happened then. She looked into the space between her and the Council as she spoke, "Savage, he goes back to Dooku's ship with the body of the Toydarian King. You and Obi-Wan follow after him and confront him again there.

"Dooku wasn't pleased with the fact that his new apprentice killed the King, so Savage was punished. Then Ventress shows up and reveals that Savage was under her influence the whole time he's been around Dooku. So, Ventress and Savage fought together against Dooku, but they couldn't really do much damage to him. I don't really remember what, but something snapped between Ventress and Savage, so he started attacking her as well.

"Right before you two go into the room, Dooku escaped through a panel or something on the floor and Ventress followed. Which is why ya'll only see Savage." As she finished, she looked from the space she was staring into and at the faces around her. Mostly, she looked between Anakin and Obi-Wan, gauging their expressions and reactions.

The pair looked to each other, both doing their best to mask the shock of her knowledge in their slightly widened eyes. Though they were completely silent, she could see them talking before breaking their eye contact with each other.

"How did you come across this information?" Obi-Wan asked, eyes watching her carefully. "I recall you claiming to be from a different universe. If that is where you are truly from, then you shouldn't know any of this unless someone has told you."

So, it already happened, she thought to herself before speaking up again. "Well, I mean… I am from a different universe-"

"Then how do you know?" Anakin interjected. "How do you even know for sure that any of what you said happened?"

Shannon took a slow, shaky breath in, biting the corner of her lip. "Th-this… This is-is all fiction to me. It was- is- a s-story."

"A story?" came the voice of Mace Windu, sounding more doubtful than questioning.

"Y-yeah," she answered, more hesitation present.

"Try elaborating more on what exactly you mean," came the voice of Luminara. It was calming in contrast to harsher voices in the room.

Shannon could feel the tension in her chest ease a bit at the sound of her voice. It allowed her to gain some focus and helped remind her to breath. She thought quietly to herself, thinking of how exactly to word this without being yelled at.

"It's just a story," she stated again, still hesitating and unsure of her words. "A very elaborate story. It was usually told through, uhm, visual media, like vids, I guess."

"So," started Anakin, a quiet rage already present in his voice, "this war is nothing but a form of entertainment for you?"

It wasn't truly a question, nor was he yelling, but still Shannon could feel her insides tighten in knots again, even as she tried to breathe slowly and deeply to slow everything down. She could feel a headache coming on.

"How are we supposed to believe this?" Anakin directed the accusatory question to the Council, looking to the different faces that sat before him. "How are we supposed to believe that she knows what she does and what she might because we're all fictional to her?"

Before she could stop herself, Shannon spoke up, "Well, in a way, we could all just be a story to someone. Just a distraction to take their mind off of their life. Even now, this whole thing- this situation- it could just be someone writing something down to take their mind off the day. It certainly feels like it." She didn't look at the faces around her while she spoke. Just continued to focus on the pocket of space between herself and everyone else.

Before another silence enveloped them, Yoda spoke up, directing a question at Ahsoka. "Told you this she did?"

She nodded slowly before adding, "Not the Ventress and Dooku part of it, but the rest, yeah."

"And believe her you do?"

"Well," she paused, looking at Shannon, who returned her gaze. After taking a moment, she answered properly, "Yes, I believe her."

"The question now is if what she's saying is truly credible," added Plo Koon.

Eyes now moved to and between Obi-Wan and Anakin.

"For our parts in her tale," Obi-Wan started, "it is true. The visit with the Zabrak village and the Nightsisters, the death of King Katuunko, all of it."

There was a minute of contemplating silence amongst the Jedi in the room. She couldn't read their thoughts, but she still knew many of them didn't- or, at least, couldn't- believe her. Part of her hoped that they wouldn't, that they would just write her off as a loon. But she had a feeling this wouldn't be the case. That's not how stories like this go.

"Tell us," started Mace Windu, his voice breaking the collective contemplative silence, "what do you believe will happen in the relative future? If nothing else, we can use what you say now as proof of your knowledge."

Eyes and attention turned to her again. She could feel their stared even if she didn't look up to see them. Once again, she focused her memory, pushing through the headache as it pierced her mind. She sifted through her knowledge, trying to put everything back into some form of form of chronological order. Her mind reached for something, pulling at it until it came into full view.

"There's going to be an incident," Shannon started, scrunching her eyebrows together as she tried to hold focus. "Or, I guess, an anomaly? Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan are heading to a set of coordinates to meet with Captain Rex. Both ships arrive at the coordinates but only one of them is truly there.

"Moments later, something happens and Ahsoka and them pass out. When they wake up, they're somewhere outside- but I guess also still in- the known galaxy. They're somewhere new. A world called Mortis."

As she finished, she looked up. The Jedi aforementioned exchange looks, curious and doubtful. The Council seemed more contemplative in their exchanged glances. Most gazes were turned to Yoda and Windu, as the deciding factors of the meeting.

"You have given us much to think over," stated Windu. "If what you say comes to pass, then the Council will discuss what more to do with your knowledge."

Shannon felt a light, guiding touch on her upper arm. She followed it- her, Ahsoka- out of the room and back into the hall. Walking out of the Council chambers felt like a successful escape, relief washing over her, along with exhaustion. Even as she tried to keep the relaxed feeling, she could feel eyes on her.

"What else happens there?" Ahsoka asked suddenly. Quietly. She was concerned and curious of the events to come.

The short woman looked at her friend before letting her gaze fall away. "I-I don't want to say. What happens there-" she stopped for a second, rethinking her words. "You need to feel free to make your decisions without the burden of knowing what might happen."

Ahsoka shook her head, not accepting that as an answer. She pressed on. "Please, I want to know. Just tell me one thing that happens. Anything."

There was only one thing the immediately came to her mind. One thing that made her more reluctant speak. One thing that made her avert her gaze more, turning herself away. It dominated her mind, even as she tried to search her memory for something different- anything.

A hand on her shoulder brought her mind back.

She looked to Ahsoka as her mind juggled the decision of what to do; to tell her about her death or to refuse and say nothing. The paranoia slowly stiffened the juggled ideas, favoring admittance.

“Shannon.” Ahsoka’s voice cut through the wandering thoughts and brought her back completely. “Look, I just wanted to know what going to be up against. If what you said comes true. I want some sort of edge against whatever we’re going to be facing.”

Shannon bit the inside of her cheek. “What I was thinking about wasn’t an edge. Just a result to what all happens while you three are there. It’s at the end of your adventure there.”

Ahsoka persisted, though soft and calm, “What happens?”

The human stared off, unresponsive, for a little bit as she tried to force the words out of her mouth. Just two simple words.

“You die.”


	14. The Merry-Go-Round of Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating last week... writing has been hard and slow and I've been having a hard time doing much of anything

As she lay on Sayiri's sofa, mindlessly playing a tune on her viol, she thought of Ahsoka; of what she told her and the reaction. The reaction itself was expected; wide-eyed, open-mouthed shock; unable to speak or respond. Shannon was sure she'd react the same way, were she in Ahsoka's place. The shock wore off after a minute and the questioning began.

Before Ahsoka could get to far into the questioning, Shannon shushed her. "Let's go to my room. I'll explain the whole thing there. I just-" she paused, looking at Ahsoka with pleading eyes. _I don't want others to hear anymore of this._

Ahsoka looked as if she was going to argue, but chose to concede after a moment's hesitation. She nodded slowly and followed her friend to her living quarters.

Once there and behind closed doors, Ahsoka spoke up, "What more is there to say about my…?" She looked down sadly, looking almost resigned to her fate.

"The whole _situation_ on Mortis is hard to really explain," Shannon spoke slowly and carefully. "A lot happens over there- stuff that's hard for me to completely recount. You die, yes, but you're brought back."

The Togruta girl looked up quickly, eyes sharp, confused, conflicted. "What… What do you mean?"

"A sacrifice was made for you." She kept her voice quiet, trying to be soothing. "Someone there- a powerful being- transferred his lifeforce into you, so that you could live."

Ahsoka stared at her for a minute, scrutinizing her face to see if there was any dishonesty in her words. After the minute, Ahsoka turned away, moving to sit in the single chair. She looked tired and heavy.

Things stayed quiet between them for the remainder of Ahsoka's visit to her room. When she made to leave, Ahsoka said that she would need time to think over this; think over her death and coming to terms with it.

Maybe she should've just refused an answer, but she felt the reaction to that would've been anger. She wasn't sure which was comparatively worse and obsessing over the thought was not going to make it any better. She just had to trust that Ahsoka would get through the ordeal on Mortis without something changing.

Chiming bells and clacking beads pulled her out of her mind and stopped her mindless fiddling. She watched Sayiri walk into the room, her steps more uneven as she leaned more onto her cane. Shannon put the developing worry off to the side.

"You're very quiet today," Sayiri commented as she sat down in her chair. "Not like your usual quiet anyway. You're in your head a lot more."

Shannon brought herself upright, sitting her viol up on her lap as she rested her head on the scroll. "Is this where you ask me what's on my mind?"

The old Rattataki smiled at her. "Only if you want to share."

Shannon returned the smile, chuckling softly as she rocked herself side to side. "I don't really… want to talk about it. But suffice to say I'm regretting telling Ahsoka something. Something about her, I guess. She's upset, now. Not angry-upset, just sorta depressed I guess."

"And you're regretting telling her?"

"Well-" she paused quickly, thinking. "Yeah. And just the fact that I caused this reaction. Triggered it." Shannon looked off, her eyes moving but not looking.

Sayiri sat quietly, contemplating her words as she studied Shannon's far off look. She wanted to assure Shannon that Ahsoka would come to terms with whatever was shared, but that would be a lie on her part. She didn't know what was said and didn't want to pry it from her. Rather than fill the silence with empty assurances, she stood up, going toward the kitchen to get her purse.

It wasn't until Sayiri stood in her line of sight that Shannon came out of her haze. Her face was impassive for the moments she faded back to reality. She noticed that purse hanging from the old woman's shoulder and gave her a curious look.

"Well, come on," Sayiri stated expectantly. "Let's go on a walk, do some window shopping."

Shannon's brow furrowed as she stared at the woman in front of her. She wasn't quite in the mood, but, who knows, it might help her mood. She packed her viol away and set it to the side of the couch, before she got up to follow Sayiri out of the shop.

Outside, the streets were bustling with traffic. Feeling her chest tighten from the sight of the crowd, Shannon stepped a little closer to Sayiri on instinct. She was use to the feeling, to a point, of barely breathing and making herself smaller to not get in other people's way. The bum-legged woman took Shannon's hand and arm with her free hand. Shannon unconsciously held their arms at a right angle to act as a stabilizer. For a short moment, she felt like she was walking with her grandmother again.

They walked for a few minutes in silence, the faster traffic moving around them. Shannon listened to everything around her; the footsteps; snippets of conversations; the general bustle of the crowd. Were it not for the fact that she was surrounded by many different aliens, she would have thought she was at the mall with her grandmother.

"I hope you know I don't mean for all this too seem like I'm just dismissing your concerns," said Sayiri, just loud enough for her to hear. "I would like to say that Ahsoka will get over it, but I do not want to dismiss her feelings either. It would be hard for me to say anything of comfort, not knowing the situation. Anything I could say would just be empty comforts."

The suddenness of the words made Shannon's mind lose focus on everything as it spun to focus on Sayiri's words. She stared onward just enough to see oncoming obstacles, listening as the woman spoke. She felt herself smile a bit at the end, relating to the words.

"To be honest," Shannon started, "it's just nice to sorta vent. I don't think it's a good thing to say, but I'm not usually looking for advice when this stuff happens. I think of solutions when I'm, like, _obsessing_ over a mistake; just thinking about it, over and over, for hours."

Shannon felt Sayiri shrug. "Well, it doesn't sound _horrible_. Understandable, I suppose." Sayiri looked at the young woman beside her for a second before looking forward and speaking again, "This little trip is supposed to get your mind off of things, not dwell on them."

A short laugh escaped Shannon's mouth as Sayiri pulled them through the crowd various stores.

Stepping into each store felt the same as when she would go somewhere new; intimidating. Though, with Sayiri guiding their way, she felt calm. Shannon felt it odd to wonder into clothing stores; they never showed these sorts of shops in the shows or movies- not that she noticed, anyhow. It intrigued her to see the fashion of this universe. Fashion that wasn't Jedi or rebel; just citizen.

Wandering through their third store, Shannon found Sayiri often staring at her.

Eventually, the older woman spoke up, as she wandered over to her friend, "How long has it been since you've had a haircut?"

Shannon's hand unconsciously moved to her hair, moving her fingers through the shorter sides. Or, at least, they use to be shorter. Now, they curled up on their own accord, having a mind of their own. Her fingers then played with the tips of the longer ends; they felt dead and frayed.

The old woman chuckled lightheartedly. "I didn't mean to make you self-conscious, dear, I'm sorry."

Still fiddling with the ends of her curls, Shannon mumbled, "It's been, I think, four or fives months since I've shaved the sides. Been longer since an actual haircut."

Sayiri linked their hands together again and guided them out of the store. "From what I understand about having hair- which isn't much, mind you- you need to have it cut every so often. That's what I've gathered from a few of my customers, anyway."

"I usually only do it once every six months or just around a year depending on money," she responded. "Though, when I got it cut short, I just shaved the sides myself every once in awhile."

The rest of the quiet walk to the salon wasn't long. As it came into view, Shannon felt a spike of self-conscious driven anxiety. She was now hyper aware of how messy her hair was. She did her best to keep her knees from locking her in place and followed Sayiri inside.

Inside, it looked like almost exactly like any other salon she had been in; a small waiting area with chairs lining the outer perimeter and some zines to keep people busy; a desk that separated the waiting area and the actual salon; and a sizable room with barber chairs lining the opposing walls with their own respective stations.

Five people filled the seats of the waiting area- some separated, others grouped up. There looked to be four people working at that moment, another sweeping away the clumps of hair that lay on the floor.

A voice drew her out of her observations; a warm, nonchalant voice. "Hello, how may I help you?"

The voice belonged to a Zabrak woman. Her features fell into the category of how a 'good' Zabrak would look. At least, that's how Shannon could only think to describe it. The woman's skin was a dark tan color and covered in thin, swirling markings on her face with soft gradient.

Shannon felt an immediate swell of anxiety in her chest. Her gaze flicked to Sayiri, not knowing what to say or if she should be the one to speak. The mere moments of silence felt like dragging minutes.

Sayiri didn't hesitate in responding. "My friend, here, needs a trim."

It was a simple exchange of words between customer and clerk, taking down a name, then taking a seat. Shannon calmed slowly, sitting down next to Sayiri. They sat in silence for the next few minutes, relaxing as they watched people come and go. Shannon almost nodded off by the time someone called her name.

She felt like a zombie- or more accurately a puppet- responding to the name and making her way over. It was a bit of a surprise for her to be greeted by a light-blueish Nautolan woman. A pleasant surprise, but a surprise nonetheless. She was at ease enough that she could run on autopilot, responding to smiles and questions with mirrored expressions and answers.

As soon as she sat down, the Nautolan woman spoke with a smile, "So, a trim, huh? This'll be fun. I never get to work with hair like your's."

The two chatted idly, as the Nautolan woman shaved the sides down back to a length they couldn't curl up from. From there, she moved to the overhanging part of the undercut.

After a short time of fiddling with the near-completely faded teal, she posed a question, "What do you want to do about this, if anything? I could dye it back to match the rest."

She froze a little. Shannon turned her head slightly to look to her Rattataki friend, hoping for an response or indicator that she heard what was happening. She didn't.

Oh, how she didn't enjoy making decisions when it wasn't her money being spent.

Receiving no rescue from Sayiri, Shannon took a quiet, deep breath and nodded.

A majority of the time was spent in silence. It was relaxing. So much so, that Shannon found herself drifting off again, only ever awake enough to stop her head from drooping. With as much microsleeping as she was doing, time passed quickly for her. Before she knew it, her head was in a sink as water washed over her hair to rinse out excess dye. A bit of wringing and a towel to pat it dry, the Nautolan woman styled the hair forward and over Shannon's right eye.

"Done! You're ready to go." The stylist smiled at her as she set her tool back on her station, before turning and taking the styling cape off of Shannon's shoulders.

With a turn of the chair, Shannon was free to move again. She felt lighter again; a familiar feeling that came with every haircut. It was soothing.

She met Sayiri back up front, who greeted her with a smile and a friendly compliment. The transaction for services rendered was quick and didn't leave Shannon alone to fiddle with her fresh cut for long.

As they walked away from the store, Sayiri spoke with a smile, "Are you feeling any better?"

For the first time in a while, Shannon didn't need to hesitate with thinking of how she truly felt. "I do. Thank you. I think I really needed this."

"No need for thanks," Sayiri responded, a content smile still playing on her face.

Shannon did her best to keep herself from saying anything more, to keep from continually thanking her. She knew Sayiri was just a kind woman and would never truly ask anything of her, but still Shannon worried about phantom debts she owed her. She knew that later the weight of guilt would fall on her, but for now she tried to settle on being content.

The streets were just about as crowded as they were before, the masses only dwindling slightly. The breezes created by passersby felt cool and soothing, especially with her still damp hair. She was content, holding Sayiri's arm as they walked, relishing the sunlight when it hit her.

The calmness of it all let Shannon's mind drift happily into nothing- a very pleasant change from her constant inner dialogue. Her anxiety of the world rested, her guard was lowered. Everything was perfectly fine.

She wasn't sure how no one else in the crowd seemed to notice what happened next, nor how her paranoia induced sixth sense didn't feel the eyes on the back of her head beforehand.

A hand fell on her shoulder, a pressing insistent hand that gripped her hard enough to keep her on course, no matter how she tensed or how much her legs tried to lock in place. She could feel the heat of the owner's body close to her back, though not touching. She did feel something pressed to the small of her back. Something she was not familiar with but could easily venture a guess. A gun.

"Just keep walkin' all calm like and neither of ya will get crippled. Or more so." Their cruel laugh is low and quiet, as if they were laughing at a long forgotten joke. It didn't belong to the one behind her, but one to the left, behind Sayiri.

She wanted to look over, to look at Sayiri for comfort or, at least, affirmation on whether this was real or not. As if reading her mind, she felt Sayiri's grip on her hand tighten. She could feel the slight tremor in her grip from the fear of the situation. Or was that her own shaking? At this moment, she couldn't tell.

After a minute more of walking, Shannon felt the hand on her shoulder grip harder in an effort to make her turn right, guiding her to an alley and around another corner to a dead end. From there, they were pushed forward. With her bum leg, Sayiri tumbled to the ground, letting go of Shannon's hand in time to not bring her down on top of her. Shannon was able to keep herself from falling.

Now free from their captor's grasp, she could freely turn to see their faces. They were both Weequay; the one that held the blaster seemed more feminine in appearance. Both looked very cocksure and arrogant. They had every right to be, seeing as they're the ones that have a blaster on their side.

"Now that we're out of the way," started the one that spoke before, "let's keep this nice and quiet while you hand over your creds."

The pair of victims continued to stare; Shannon's eyes were wide in fear and alarm, like a deer in the headlights; Sayiri's held steady, calculating. Shannon still stood, close to her friend, with her knees bent and looking ready to run. 'Fight or Flight' was in overhaul, but still she remained stuck in place, remaining at Sayiri's side.

"Quit your gawking and give us your creds already," the woman sneered, leveling her blaster towards Sayiri.

The old woman's expression became that of anger, as her face twisted into a snarl. She moved slowly, shifting her legs to sit under her before reaching for her purse. Or she was until she caught movement in front of her.

Despite the fear that seemingly possessed her, she moved slowly, stiffly in front of Sayiri. She did her best to keep her breath steady as she looked that the two Weequay that stood in front of her, trying keep her relative cool as she stared at wrong end of the blaster.

The man chuckled lightly at her actions. "Looks like we've got ourselves a hero type, Cic."

The blaster moved, levelling off for a chest shot. "If you know what's good for ya, you'll move. It'll just be easier on you two if ya just give us what we asked for."

Shannon felt a hand touch the back of her calf, followed by a quiet, "Please, Shannon."

Still, she stood.

In the back of her mind, she began thinking in retrospect, even on events that had yet to unfold. We're she to die in this moment, she felt people would think it was more due to her suicidal urges that led her to this, but that wouldn't necessarily be true. She was afraid of dying, the process of it. What she yearned for was to become nothing; to cease existing.

And yet, she stared down the barrel of a blaster, seemingly ready to take a bolt to the chest. The thought terrified her, just as much as the idea of Sayiri taking the shot instead.

"Alright," Cic said as she let out a rough, exasperated sigh.

The Weequay woman was quick in her movements, reaching forward and grabbing Shannon by the neck and pulling her forward. Before she knew it, the blaster was right next to her head and an arm held her against Cic.

The other Weequay let out another delighted chuckle before speaking again, "Now that we have the possible 'heroics' out of the way, let's move on."

Shannon could now see the fear that had formed on Sayiri's face. She looked just as scared as Shannon felt, if not moreso.

"Please, if I give you the credits, will you let her go?" her voice was desperate and dry. If the shine in her eyes was any sort of sign, Shannon would guess her friend was on the very edge of breaking.

"Not like we planned on grabbin' her in the first place," the man said, dryly. "It's her fault for steppin' in front of ya."

Shannon could feel the woman holding her laugh, could smell her rancid breath as it blew past her. The sudden sensory input began to make the situation at hand slowly started to sink further in. It would be better to just do what they say, so they could both get out of here unscathed. Don't provoke them, don't provoke them, don't provoke them.

She felt her captor move, the hand that held the blaster slowly drifted away as the Weequay woman lowered her guard. Shannon found herself looking slowly down at the arm that held her tightly against the woman. It reminded her of thing, a similar situation from a time earlier in life.

She was playing with other kids, running through the small trailer to her soon-to-be step-sister's room. She couldn't remember what they were playing, but it felt like a race. Suddenly, something was chasing her, catching her. It held her as she thrashed. In that moment she panicked, forgetting the fun. She just needed to get _away_. Just like now. So, she acted according to then.

Grabbing the woman's arm, she pushed it up with her adrenaline-enhanced strength towards her face. In a split second, the woman's arm went from around Shannon's waist to in between her teeth.

The force and surprise of the bite made the Weequay woman yelp in surprise. When she hit Shannon with the butt of her blaster, the frenzied woman grabbed the blaster wielding arm before locking her teeth onto that one. The blaster went off twice before the recoil and pain caused her to drop it.

Her friend reacted too slowly, not quick enough to pull the woman off before the second bite. He gripped her trying to tug her of Cic's arm to little avail. With each tug, Cic let out a yell of agony. He yelled curses, kicking at Shannon's legs trying to get her to let go. After a few more pulls, she was pulled off and thrown to the ground by the old woman.

Blood poured from the gaping wound where a patch of flesh use to be. The Weequay woman gripped it, trying to halt, or at least slow, the bleeding, stumbling a few steps away.

The man went for the gun, "You little-!"

Sayiri's cane connected with his arm as Shannon swung it wildly. The next swing went over his head but the shock of it almost hitting him sent him sprawling back. Shannon continued swinging as she stepped closer and closer to the ones who had brought them here. Nothing went through her mind besides the _need_ to make them leave.

A few more swings, even fewer hits, the two Weequay abandoned their quarry, taking off around the corner.

The adrenaline that had been coursing through her slowly began to halt, leaving her with heavy breaths of exhaustion. She leaned on the cane, resting her head on the handle as she slowly calmed down. She could still taste the Weequay's blood in her mouth.

As everything came back into focus, she picked up heavy breathing. Heavy breathing that wasn't her's.

Upon realization, she turned quickly and ran back to Sayiri.

She was laying on the ground, clutching her chest with her eyes pinched closed. Her head ornament had fallen off, lying under her head. Her breathing was loud and heaving, as she twisted under the pain of the injury.

Before she could stop herself, Shannon started to ramble in a panic. "S-S-Say-yiri! Are-are you okay? What happened? Oh, God, of course you're not okay. Oh, God, oh no, oh no, ohno-ohno-ohno-nononononono-"

She felt a hand rest suddenly on hers. Shannon looked down to Sayiri.

Her breathing was still labored, but she did well to keep it steady as she opened her eyes to look at Shannon. The eye contact somehow calmed her down, slow as it happened. Slowly, she clasped her hands around Sayiri's, trying to settle down and think.

Before Shannon could think to call for help, she heard a voice from behind her. One that was familiar and unexpected.

"What happened here?"

Shannon turned quickly to see Anakin walking over. His steps were slow at first, that is until he figured out the woman on the ground was hurt.

He kneeled down on the side opposite of Shannon, peeling away the hand that was pressing against the wound. The sound of it was sick and sticky, like something away from drying glue on paper. The smell was worse. Shannon covered her nose and mouth quickly, doing her best to keep herself from puking. How she hadn't smelled the pungent odor of burned flesh beforehand, she didn't know but it was now very apparent.

After seeing the wound, he let Sayiri press her hand over it again as he opened a comm channel, "I need medical support to Level 3106, Market district. There's a wounded civilian in critical condition."

There was only half a second of delay before a response. "We have someone headed your way, sir."

Anakin nodded, turning off the comm. He looked again at Sayiri, who still struggled to breath, before moving his gaze to Shannon. The look he gave her was intense, making Shannon shrink down as she had a habit of doing.

"What. Happened?"


	15. Misery Makes Strange Bedfellows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shortness of this chapter. The next one will hopefully be longer...  
> also a heads up, when Mass Effect Andromeda comes out my attention is going to mostly fixated on that. I might finish it in like a week tho cause that happens a lot with me

Anakin stayed with Shannon while they waited for Sayiri to be picked up and taken away to a hospital. There wasn’t much else they could do besides wait while the old woman struggled to breathe. He watched as Shannon sat over her, rocking herself back and forth as she held the old woman’s hand.

She hadn’t stopped crying since he arrived on the scene. After the initial blubbering of panicked, desperate apologies, she had settled into her rocking silence. She never answered Anakin, never explained what exactly happened. Whatever events occurred before his arrival, he knew Shannon blamed herself completely.

When medical came, she looked confused and panicked. She hesitated to try and follow as they loaded the old woman up into the vehicle, only to be stopped by the medical droids. He continued to watch her as she stood there shaking, hands gripping over the other and pulling at the skin. He intervened right as she began trying to rip it off.

Anakin barely touched her shoulder before she nearly jumped out of her skin from the contact. He could see the fear and pain shining in her eyes as she stared at him. It only lasted a few moments before completely draining away into exhaustion.

“Come on, let’s head back to the Temple,” he said as he started to walk away.

She followed silently behind him, never trying to catch up to walk beside him. She followed him through the crowd as her mind slowly drifted.

On their walk back to the Temple, Anakin only looked back to Shannon a few times. She was incredibly quiet and he was almost certain that she had disappeared from behind him. But she was always there, following, never looking up from the ground.

It wasn’t long before they reached the Temple. Anakin led them through halls, until finding a suitably deserted one.

Anakin halted and turned around to face Shannon. Crossing his arms, he spoke, “Think you can tell me happened now?”

This was the first time she had looked up in a while. Her eyes scanned the area and found no one but themselves occupying the space. As she took in their surroundings, she took a moment to process the question.

She blinked slowly, exhausted from everything that had gone on that day. Still, she did her best to recall the events that had transpired.

“We were just heading back to Sayiri’s home, her shop. We were just spending time together. She was doing nice things for me.

“But on our way back, we got- were caught by two people, sorta. They snuck up on us in the crowd and one of them- they held a gun- a blaster to my back. They led us to an alley and-... All they wanted was the money, I think, but- I don’t know why, but I just st-stood there, trying to get between S-Sayiri and th-the blaster. They just wanted the money and I-I-I d-didn’t let th-them take it. I didn’t w-want th-them to hurt her.”

Shannon stopped for a moment, stopping the painful wringing of her hands. She brought her hands to either side of her head and scratched, trying to get rid of the itching frustration that needled its way through her skull.

As she brought her hands to rest on her neck, she continued. “One of them- the one with the blaster- sh-she grabbed me a-and held the blaster to me, using me as a-a-a-a f-fucking hostage and, just…

“They were about to get the money and probably just leave, but- I-I don’t know why but I just reacted how I use to, when I was a kid. She let her guard down and I just bit the shit out of her arm. I just- I just k-kept biting down, harder and harder.

“When sh-she d-dropped her blaster and her friend ripped me off, he w-went for the gun and I just had the cane- Sayiri’s cane in my hands. I just- I just... “

Shannon’s hands started to grip tighter on the sides of her neck, pushing harder as her nails dug into the back. She became suddenly conscious of the remnants of alien blood in her mouth. She felt suddenly sick and hysteric.

Tears pushed to her eyes as her body practically fell against the wall, making her head bounce off it. The feeling was something familiar to her, much like the memories of biting people. When she was younger and would begin to become increasingly frustrated, she would hit her head against a wall continuously. It was a sort of painful catharsis as well as a self-imposed punishment. And so the pattern of repeating old habits continued as she struck her head against the wall again and again as she sobbed, rambling endless apologies and sticking blame on herself.

Up until now, Anakin had listened to her, watching with a seemingly impassive expression. As he watched her become more agitated in her movements, he felt his shoulders slowly tense, ready to react when necessary. It wasn’t until she start hitting her head against the wall that he reached out to her, grabbing her shoulders and pulling her away from the wall, shaking her slightly in an attempt to bring her out of her hysteria.

“Hey. Hey!” Anakin called as he shook her. “You need to calm down. Just breathe, alright?”

His near shouting shocked her out of her sobbing, making her halt in everything. She tried to do what he said, taking deep breaths, still hiccupping from crying. Seeing that she was following his direction, he let her arms go. She immediately started wiping her face of her tears, sweat, and snot; it was difficult for her to tell what was what in the mess of fluids.

He gave her a few minutes to gather her wits and calm down from her hiccuping before trying to start up another line of questioning, one he hoped would distract her from her pain. “Who is she to you? The woman who got hurt.”

She was quiet for a moment, as she always was when she processed questions asked. “Uhm, she’s, ah-” Shannon closed her eyes, trying to focus on forming complete sentences. She leaned and pressed her back against the wall next to her as she began to speak again. “Ahsoka introduced me to her, when I first got here. T-to Coruscant. She’s helped me a lot and just- she’s been there for me whenever I had a tough time dealing with things.”

“So, she’s a friend?” he asked, though it sounded closer to an affirmative statement than an actual question.

Her eyes opened slightly and kept her gaze to the ground. She tilted her head as she spoke, “Sorta. It honestly feels like more than that, though. That she’s more than that.”

She scratched her head, slowly noticing the throbbing pain from where she head herself. Still, she ignored and and continued, “On one of the particularly bad days- more specifically, the day Ahsoka told me she was going to tell the Council that I knew things- on that day, I had a pretty bad break down in front of her. Sayiri, I mean. It just finally occurred to me that I was never going to see my friends or family ever again.”

Shannon felt herself smile a little, reminiscing on the memory. “She let me cry it out, even made me some food and tea. When I told her what was wrong, she empathized, telling me about her own family; how she lost them. It was pretty much just a pity party, but it was nice talking about it for a bit.”

She shifted her weight from foot to foot, still resting her back against the wall. “At that point, we became more than friends, I think. More like family, I guess, in a way.”

Anakin watched her as she spoke, listening carefully to her words. It was easy to tell that Shannon did, in fact, care deeply for Sayiri. The apparent daughterly love she held for the woman brought on memories of his own mother. Happiness that was snatched away from him by his inability to protect his mother from the Sand People; to return to Tatooine to take her away before anything terrible could happen.

His hand clenched unconsciously as he remembered that painful night. And with the memory, came the empathy for Shannon and the desire to help her learn to do what he couldn’t. In that moment, in the back of his mind, he became resolved to help her learn how to fight- to defend the people she cared for.

With the goal to get her to accept his offer in the back of his mind, Anakin spoke, “I know what it’s like, believe it or not. The wanting to protect someone you care about or just-” he paused, looking away for a moment before resettling his gaze back on her. “If you’re up for it, I could train you so that the next time something like this happens, you’ll be ready.”

The offer itself took Shannon off guard a bit, making her gaze shift suddenly to him. It was surreal to hear- though, at this point, surreal happenings were common for her.

Her eyebrows scrunched together, a look of doubt and disbelief etched on her face. She was never really one to accept seemingly selfless offers, mostly due to her incredibly gullible attitude as a child which took part in forming her now natural paranoia. And though he had given a reason, she still felt herself wanting to ask why.

The offer was left hang in the air for a while, going unanswered as Shannon sifted through the din of her thoughts. The longer she waited, the more anxious she became to think of an answer. The answer was itself was obvious to her, though.

Slowly she was able to get herself to speak. “I… I guess it’d be nice to learn some stuff.”

“Come on, it’ll be good for you. Maybe even fun,” Anakin smiled, trying to lighten the mood.

All it did was earn him a raised eyebrow and a shrug as she seemed to fall back into a somber state.

Anakin sighed, deflating a bit. “Go get some rest. You’ve had a long day.”

This was one of the few things that Shannon wouldn’t hesitate with accepting. She nodded quietly, pushing herself off the wall to drag herself to her room.

The Jedi Knight watched as she trudged away. He wondered to himself if he would ever get anywhere with her in terms of building some rapport. He wanted to see whatever it was Ahsoka saw in her, to know his Padawan’s trust and friendship wasn’t misplaced.


	16. The Normal

Days passed since the incident in the alley. Anakin was consistent and relentless on helping Shannon learn to fight. So much so that she was oftentimes woken by him with a ‘rise and shine’ attitude, to which she responded less than enthusiastically.

On the first day, she immediately found similarities to when she took Karate lessons. Though, when learning some sort of fighting style or a discipline, there would surely be similarities. Unlike her days in Karate, however, she was instructed to choose a weapon that she would train with.

There were plenty of training sabers for her to pick up and weigh in her hands- even trying her aesthetically prefered dual-wielding- but no matter how she held them, they felt  _ wrong _ . It may have just been her lack of training and strength, but it felt to weird for her to even try handling the sabers.

Anakin, noticing her frustration, picked up something a bit different. “Catch,” he called before tossing it to her.

While her reflexes were quick, her hand-eye coordination was not. She fumbled with it for a few seconds before catching it firmly in her hands. The minor anxiety of the incident drew a quiet laugh out of her.

Watching her lack of coordination with catching the object made him sigh quietly to himself. A minor obstacle, but one he could at least work with.

She looked over the cylindrical piece of metal she had been thrown, rolling it in her hands and feeling at the grip. Unsure of what to really do with it, she tossed it from hand to hand until triggering it to extend to its full length. The sudden extension surprised her enough to fumble it again. Gaining a new grip on it, she began tossing it hand to hand again. As she became more comfortable with the weight, she spun it with both of her hands a few times before doing the same with a single hand. Eventually content with it, she stilled the staff and looked to Anakin.

“I’m guessing you’ve never fought with a staff before,” Anakin stated, opting to pick up a training saber. He didn’t want to slice apart the training equipment with his lightsaber while teaching her.

“No,” she answered, shifting her weight to one foot. “I’m pretty non-confrontational by nature, so I’ve never fought, period.”

He tapped his finger on the hilt of the saber in his hand, as he thought. As he put the training saber back on the rack, he spoke, “I guess we’ll start simple then. Toss it to me.”

Though confused, she obeyed.

Anakin caught the staff with ease. “Now, watch what I do,” he said, falling into a stance.

She studied his foot movements while also keeping her eyes on what he did with the staff. Not too long after, he was done and tossed the staff back. She caught it with more ease, this time. Anakin watched her expectantly, waiting for her to mimic what he had done just moments before.

She felt nervous, suddenly, feeling a nonexistent pressure crushing her slowly. She never did well when it presenting anything, especially when she had no friendly-familiar to stand with her. Even as she felt a shaking start in her shoulders, she did her best to breathe, swallowing down the panic with each breath. She took the starting stance and made her way shakily through movements.

When she was done, her paranoia expected harsh criticism. What she received was a calm, instructive tone, telling her to loosen up but stay firm. Anakin instructed her to move through the stances again, slowly this time as he corrected minor errors.

The days continued like this; calm instruction and slowly relaxing social anxiety. It was a relaxing rhythm for a while.

When Anakin was confident she knew the basic stances, they moved onto sparring. Even while he went easy on her, she oftentimes wound up on the ground with a stinging pain on some extremity.

Even through the hours of unrelenting punishment, she kept getting up. Eventually, she even began laughing when the pain of each hit set in. She knew this was supposed to be training, but it was also just  _ fun _ to her, even when she was getting her ass handed to her.

While she couldn’t exactly see it, she was getting better, bit by bit. Anakin could see she wasn’t consciously thinking of tactics, but fighting on some sort of instinct even as she used the forms she learned. While she would learn from her mistakes after a few resulted in stinging hits, often times he would advise her on what to do differently to avoid repeating it.

A week and a half passed into the training. It was a new routine in which she put her mind into wholly to forget any sort of pain she felt. The thoughts of that day were so far away that they no longer bothered her. Until, a reminder walked through the door.

As she entered, Ahsoka started to speak but almost immediately halted in her words and steps when she saw her Master and her friend sparring. “I wouldn’t have believed it if I wasn’t standing here, seeing it.”

Anakin stopped mid-swing to look to his Padawan before relaxing his stance and putting the training saber. “Hey, Snips. What’s up?”

Ahsoka looked to Shannon, who was awkwardly holding and fiddling with the metal rod in her hand, for a brief second before refocusing her gaze back on Anakin. “Just wondering where you’ve been disappearing to for the past week. I’ve also been trying to figure out where Shannon was going.”

Shannon stared wide-eyed at Ahsoka in response to the mention of her name. She waited quietly, maintaining her stare as she waited for Ahsoka to continue.

“Sayiri contacted me,” Ahsoka started and Shannon immediately filled with dread. “She’s been asking where you’ve been and if you’re okay, that you didn’t show up at the  _ hospital _ , or even come by her home when she was discharged.”

Shannon looked away meekly, scrunching her shoulders and pressing her arms tightly to her sides. She said nothing in response to Ahsoka’s words.

The Togruta sighed, instead opting to ask rather than wait for Shannon to gather courage, “What happened? Why was Sayiri in the hospital?”

Aside from the cracking starts of words that escaped her gaping mouth, Shannon remained silent. It was a simple enough task to answer, to just tell her what happened, but she didn’t want to bring back her memories and feeling from the moment.

Anakin looked between the two during the one-sided exchange. When he looked at Shannon failing to grasp her words, he spoke up in her place. “They were mugged.”

“What?” Ahsoka exclaimed, eyes widening in shock.

“Shannon, here, somehow found it in herself to try in keeping that from happening. She managed to chase them, but, during the fight, Sayiri took a bolt to the shoulder,” he explained, tapping a spot in his left shoulder.

It was Ahsoka’s turn to gape wordlessly at the words presented to her. Her eyebrows scrunched together, concentrating as her mind quickly put everything together. She went through the initial worry and concern that the situation triggered, but was able to rationalize it away as she knew that the pair of them was alright.

Ahsoka turned her gaze back to her Master, a puzzled look on her face. She knew that Shannon wouldn’t seek him out for any reason, not alone anyway. “How do you know?”

“I was close by, heard the blaster fire.” The rest was self explanatory. Though, he continued, branching off from that point. “After Shannon explained everything that happened, and after a little bit of talking, I convinced her to start training.”

Ahsoka nodded, her eyes flicking back and forth between them. After settling her gaze on Shannon, she slowly approached her. “Still, why haven’t you been to see Sayiri? She’s obviously worried about you, and you for her.”

Shannon gave a slight shrug, slowly forcing herself to look to her friend. “I’ve been, sorta, just focusing on learning to fight. I k-kinda wound up forgetting, as h-horrible as that sounds.”

She scrutinized Shannon for a moment before letting out an exasperated sigh. While Ahsoka would never admit it, it was draining to hear and learn of Shannon’s mistakes and faults. To Ahsoka, the mistakes and such were easily dealt with and never caused much worry, but she learned Shannon had a habit of avoiding anything that stressed her.

“Well, you should go see her,” Ahsoka stated, crossing her arms. “It’d be good for you and her.”

Shannon looked over to Anakin, unsure if she should or was, at least, allowed to leave.

Returning her gaze, the Jedi smiled and shrugged his shoulders. “Hey, I don’t mind. We can continue training another time.”

“A-alright.” The words were quiet, matching her hesitant, fumbling motions of putting away the telescoping staff and walking out of the room.

The Jedi/Padawan pair watched her leave quietly, before Anakin followed suit in putting away the training saber he used. By the time Anakin turned back around, Ahsoka was right in front of him, a quizzical look on her face.

“I feel like there’s another reason you decided to train her,” she said, crossing her arms in front of her.

He walked around her, shrugging as she followed him. “Who knows? Maybe I decided to give her a chance like you did. She starts to grow on you, after a while.”

“Yeah, she does,” Ahsoka responded quietly, looking suspiciously at her Master. Whatever other motive he may have had, she wasn’t going to be able to pull it out of him. At the very least, the two of them would be building up trust in one another.

 

* * *

 

 

Shannon walked through the streets, keeping her eyes ahead and down as she usually did, lost in thought but still present. She hadn’t realized that a week had passed since the incident in the alley, though she had been doing her best to keep her mind from drifting to that.

Adrenaline pumped through her veins, fogging whatever pain she felt, whatever thought that may have crossed her mind. Finally, she was able to sate her curiosity as to how it felt to bite into someone as hard as she could. For the moment, she could still remember the off taste of the Weequay’s blood, as well as the satisfaction from ripping into the thick skin.

In her disturbed reminiscing, she found her way to Sayiri’s shop and home. The walk there felt simultaneously shorter and longer than before.  _ It’s probably the anxiety that skewed my perception of time _ , she thought. It’s always the illness, isn’t it?

She didn’t move from her spot; out of the way of the constantly moving line of people, but still in line of sight of the shop’s door. She hummed quietly in frustration, unable to move, to gulp, to breathe more than necessary. Shannon hated this paralysis that seized her, hated the familiarity of it. But she couldn’t do much about it besides wait for it to pass.

And so she waited, thinking constant thoughts that she needed to relax, that if she could move just one joint, she could be free from her uncomfortable, statuesque stance. An unknowable amount of minutes passed before she was finally able to will part of her hand to move. Long enough, that the door to the slid open to reveal the Rattataki woman seeing off one of her customers. It only took a moment for her to see Shannon standing close to the door, unmoving.

Sayiri shook, holding herself back from crying and making a scene. Instead, she took a few moments to calm herself before walking over to her friend. She placed a hand lightly on Shannon’s shoulder, wordlessly beckoning her inside.

Shannon felt herself relax under Sayiri’s touch, something that was unusual when it came to people touching her. Still, she was happy to be free of her paralysis as well as happy to see Sayiri again.

There were a few more people than usual today, making slipping through the aisles without bumping someone slightly more difficult. Or, at least, it would have been before the customers wordlessly moved out of Sayiri’s way as she led her friend to the back room.

The familiarity of the beads and bells chiming softly had a calming effect, like walking into her home after a stressful day. It was only a few seconds before her thoughts on the comparison were cut short as she was pulled into a hug.

“You were gone for so long,” the old woman whimpered quietly. “When you didn’t come by, I was afraid something had happened, but you’re here! You’re okay.”

Shannon could feel tears drip down onto the side of her head and the shoulder of her shirt. Soon after, she could feel her own well up in her eyes as her shoulders began to shake.

She buried her head into the nape of her friend’s neck, holding onto her for dear life as she blubbered out apologies and promises to not miss another visit.

A sharp  _ ding _ brought them out of their sobfest. They pulled themselves away from each other, wiping their eyes and noses, trying to go back to looking like they weren’t just quietly crying their eyes out.

“Please, sit down while I deal with this,” Sayiri said with a smile as she walked back through the curtain.

It was quiet again, aside from the dulled chatting from the shop. A good quiet that let Shannon relax. She looked around the room, taking it in as if it had been much long than a week since she had been here.

She smiled as she fell and sunk into the couch, sprawling out as she did.  _ The old routine,  _ she thought to herself as she drifted off.  _ My normal. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that i've been gone for so long and sorry that the end of the chapter is probably shit. this chapter has been sitting unfinished since I disappeared. I don't know when another chapter will happen IF it happens. but who knows. i had to pretty much force myself to finish this so that's probably why the end of it feels rushed and... empty?? like i couldn't feel anything like I normally do when I write. probably the stress of life and desire for sui/cide  
> dont worry bout me tho you just go on ur merry way


	17. Decisions, Decisions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> its been too long since i've posted a chapter and im not really sure about how this one turned out. i'm just glad to be posting it lol

Two and a half weeks passed; after the initial relief to see her again, Sayiri used part of her lunch hour to express her worry and disappointment in the way only a grandmother could. It was a familiar feeling that Shannon did not miss in the least. Still, she couldn’t really bring herself to complain about it. It was something that was well deserved.

It wasn’t long after reuniting with Sayiri when Anakin, Ahsoka, and Obi-Wan were sent off into the fray of war again. Shannon didn’t know any details of their departure, nor did she think to ask at that point. With as _normal_ as everything felt, she didn’t feel any need to worry about them.

Despite his leaving, Anakin’s departure didn’t put her training on pause. For the time being, she took lessons from another Jedi, one she wasn’t familiar with and whose name did not stick on their first meeting. As more time passed in her training with this new Jedi, she found it more and more awkward to ask their name, especially since she was not yet comfortable with their presence.

Still, her training proceeded. Shannon found herself to be working just as hard as when she trained with Anakin. She wasn’t exactly sure what she expected, but she thought there would be at least a small difference in the intensity. Maybe she just couldn’t tell at this point.

Her muscle memory grew better as the week went on, as it does with daily practice. The most fun she had with learning to use the staff was spinning it behind her back and over her head, and being able to hit things with it. More specifically, she enjoyed the sound and vibration it made when it came into hard contact with something. If she talked with others more often about satisfying sensations, she might’ve felt it wasn’t something strange to enjoy. Alas.

The morning of another week’s passage, Shannon was given a day off. She lounged around her room for a while longer than she usually would before going off to training, before heading out to Sayiri’s. At least, there she would have something to do and someone to talk to.

On her way out, on the landing area near the entrance to the Temple, she saw Ahsoka, Anakin, and Obi-Wan just arriving. She felt a compulsion to go over and greet them. Well, greet Ahsoka, at least. Talking casually to the other two still felt awkward, especially Obi-Wan considering how little they’ve been around each other.

She gave a small wave to Ahsoka as she walked over. “Hey, guys. How was y’all’s mission?”

Eyes were on her the instant she announced herself. For a few moments they stared at her before exchanging glances. The other two seemed to focus their respective stares on Anakin, who seemed to be reluctant in having to be the one to speak. When he looked back at her, she saw his mouth twitch into a momentary scowl before it settled into some form of a neutral look.

“Come on,” he said as he walked past her, “we need to go see the Council.”

Shannon watched, confused, has he just walked past her. She looked back to the remaining two, hoping for something to clue her in on what was happening. Obi-Wan just sighed and followed after his former student. Ahsoka looked _down_ and closed off. That was the best way Shannon to think to describe her friend’s expression. Ahsoka drifted past her, taking slower steps and hoping Shannon would follow.

Nervously, she followed after them, thinking over what all could’ve happened that they’d be acting like this. Was there something she missed or something she- _Oh. Oh, no._ She caught up with Ahsoka, touching her arm to grab her attention and possibly stopping her. The sudden contact did just that.

“Ahsoka, I’m-” She stops. Is ‘sorry’ really all she can say?

“You don’t need to be sorry,” Ahsoka quietly offered before continuing on again, this time with Shannon right next to her. “It wasn’t exactly as you said. It wasn’t a ‘he’ who gave their life up to, uhm, bring me back.”

Shannon looked to the ground as the two of them continued walking. “Sorry, things can get jumbled sometimes, I guess. Some things I can remember more clearly than others, for no particular reason. Sorta like remembering useless facts when you should remembering lessons.”

Ahsoka nodded and sighed. “That’s definitely not going to help with the Council’s decision then. Or, at least, make the result not so favorable.”

“Yeah, I guess not.”

The rest of the walk to the Council’s Chambers was quiet, though Shannon couldn’t help feeling the tension between the lot of them. Shannon herself could feel her breath becoming shallow, as if trying to fade away on instinct. A life of social anxiety was bound to do that, though.

Upon arriving at the doors, Obi-Wan spoke. “The Council should already be gathered. Are you ready?”

Shannon only nodded before he opened the door and headed in, the rest of them following suit. Shannon likenned the heaviness in her chest to when you’re called into the principal's office, though every instance where she’s called on by authority figures tended to feel like that. Her hands clasped together in front of her, trying her best to soothe herself and keep her anxiety from becoming overwhelming. If nothing else, she at least felt a little more confidence to bring her eyes up a little more to look at their faces. Before she knew it, she was standing in the center of the room, next to Obi-Wan.

“Do you know why we’re here today, Shannon?” asked Mace.

She nodded, looking up more towards the Council than she usually tended to.

“Then you know that what you have told us is true. As such, we’ve come to a decision and have decided to use your knowledge to our advantage.”

Plo Koon picked up from Mace’s end. “We know that this causes you great distress and that you are worried about it changing the flow of time, but we would like the option of being able to use what you tell us.”

As he finished, Shannon’s eyes focused in on him as if to see if she could tell if he was lying. Her eyes shifted downwards in thought. She hadn’t thought of a situation where they only _might_ use her knowledge. Still, she felt hesitant to readily divulge anything.

“Alright.” She could feel her heart beating in her chest as she replied. It’s not like she could truly refuse. Her paranoia told her they’d get the information, one way or another.

Mace nodded. “Now that that’s settled, we would like to learn about whatever comes next.”

Shannon blinked, going blank for a few brief moments as she tried to recall it. At first, all she could recall was that ARC Trooper Echo would die and then later the Jedi that had been captured. As she focused, she felt a strange clarity fill her mind as she remembered more specific details. It was odd and something that had never really happened before. For now, she chose to focus on what the Jedi asked of her.

When she spoke up, it sounded like she was reciting something remembered, which isn’t that far from the truth. “Even Piell and his Crew are going to be captured by the Separatists and taken to the Citadel.”

There was a momentary tense silence before Windu spoke up. “And you are sure that they are going to be taking him to the Citadel?”

The edge of her lip pulled to the side in a look of slight indignance. “If the Citadel is the Jedi prison in a volcano, then, yeah, I’m sure. The Separatists are going to try and get the coordinates for the Nexus Route from Piell.”

“Only received word of that a few days ago, we did,” Yoda said. “Perhaps, a few days we will have, to warn Master Piell of this.”

She felt a slight anxiety well up in her at hearing this, that this important event might not happen, but something told her that the capture of Piell would still happen. Neither felt good to think about in different ways. Still, she felt herself hope that her feeling was right.

“Thank you for telling us this, Shannon,” Windu said, pulling her out of her head. “You all may leave, now. The Council must discuss this and come to a decision.”

Shannon took a step back to leave before feeling Obi-Wan’s hand rest on her shoulder. She looked up at him with a curious look on her face.

“Thank you. I know this isn’t what you wanted, but I’m glad you’ve decided to trust us with this.” There was a small, genuine smile on his face, one that she could compare to a soft look of pride on a parent’s face.

When she returned his smile with a nod, he slid his hand off her shoulder, letting her walk to the waiting Jedi. Ahsoka looked more relaxed than she had in some time, while Anakin remained tense.

The three of them walked out of the room and down the hall a ways before Anakin stopped and spoke up. “Ahsoka, why don’t you go on ahead? I need to talk to Shannon about some things.”

Ahsoka stopped as well, turning and looking between her friend and her Master. She opened her mouth to question him, but something about his expression made her stop. Fighting her curiosity and stubbornness, she complied, waving goodbye as she continued her walk down the hall.

As Anakin moved to one side of the hall, Shannon follow, beginning to feel worried about what the emotionally unpredictable Jedi might want.

“What all do you know about me?”

Her head tilted slightly to the side. “What do you mean?”

He looked at her for a long moment, trying to decide whether she was feigning ignorance or not. With a decided sigh, he explained. “On Mortis, I had visions of my mother. If you really know-- or saw-- what happened there, then I want to _know_ what else you know.”

As she realized what he was talking about, she began to feel more nervous. “How far into specifics do you want me to go?”

He sighed, scanning the hall for any passersby before looking back to her, waiting for her to continue.

She kept her voice low, doing her best to control her volume while still being understandable. “I know that you’re from Tatooine, that you and your mom were slaves before Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan came and pretty much whisked you away because of your force sensitivity. Meeting them is also when you first met Padme. I know the Council was not happy with Qui-Gon bringing you here, but when Qui-Gon died, they accepted you.

“Years later, you’re a Padawan to Obi-Wan, and you both are assigned to guard Padme from assassination attempts. One thing leads to another, you’re on Naboo with Padme, building your eventual romantic relationship, when you get visions of your mom in danger. So, you go to Tatooine and find out that you’re too late to save your mom, so you kill all the Raiders in the little village. Eventually the battle of Geonosis happens and you’re married to Padme after that.”

It wasn’t the best description of events but it had the main points. Shannon knew his mom was dead, that he killed out of a need for revenge, and that he had secretly married Padme. All things that he would’ve no doubt prefer to have kept between him and his wife.

Anakin had leaned against the wall as he quietly listened to her repeat past years of his life in a short, nonchalant manner. It was strange listening to someone you’d only known for a few short months recite years of your life as if they had been there the whole time.

“Why haven’t you told anyone?”

Shannon shrugged. “A secret is a secret for a reason, and I’m good at keeping ‘em that way. I won’t tell anyone anything if they don’t want me to.”

He looked at her with a curious, disbelieving expression.

“Really, though, you don’t need to worry about me talking about it to some stranger, much less them,” she said, waving down the hall towards the Council’s room.

Anakin continued to stare at her for a few moments before sighing. “I really hope I can trust you with this, but so far you’ve given me no reason to doubt you,” he said with a smile coming to his face. “Honestly, it’s strange having someone else in on this.”

With a more relaxed atmosphere now, Shannon crossed her arms and smiled. “That’s generally what people call relief. It happens when you share the weight of something with someone.”

“I might be right, there,” he said with a slight chuckle as he pushed himself off the wall to fully face her. “Just so you know, we’re going to be restarting your training tomorrow. Hope you’re ready, because I’m not going to be going easy this time around.”

She groaned comically before laughing, “Oh, my God, is this punishment?”

“You’ll have to decide that for yourself tomorrow,” he chuckled again, before patting her shoulder. As he walked away, he said, “Make sure to be up bright and early.”

“Uuugh, it _is_ punishment,” she complained with a good natured laugh before heading her own way while waving off her teacher.


End file.
